I think I have a semi similar situation, i'm laid back and quite reserved but in a way that makes people warm to me i believe. This is a problem now as I've been out of touch with a girl i was with last year ,and am still really into, and I have to fight the urge to get in touch with her every other day because I know that would be out of character for me, from her perspective. Hmmmm...

Anyway, I don't think I would make any more effort with either of them than they are making with you. If things ever quiet down and you feel them becoming distant, a text along the lines of "hey just checkin up on my old gal" could suffice.

Damn maybe i should start taking my own advice

Well, personally, I would never do a "hey just checkin up on ya" type of thing. But that's me. It could work for others.

Personally, I wouldn't contact them more than they contact you, UNLESS you have some exciting stuff going on. Then I would drop a quick text letting them know they are missing out on the fun. If they like being with you, that will pique their interest to make SURE they hang around you when they have the chance to.

I don't put in much effort to keep in touch with a girl unless I'm REALLY into her.

If you don't want to lose any attraction or anything, I would suggest keeping in touch once a week. And make it fantastic when you do. Make her look forward to the next time you talk or see her. That's my perspective.

The funny thing about it is that I find it difficult to keep 2 women equally attracted and to be interested in more than 1; meaning,1 must get more attention than the other. For some reason , its fuccing hard to divi that up. 1 will wain eventually(at least for me) if she doesnt try to keep it alive. The good thing is that the one in the open relationship would most likely not mind if the level of communication is slaccening, cause after all she's in a relationship. So its difficult.

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Hobbit, if you're naturally more laid back when interacting, then why don't you just be laid back, but at a slightly higher energy level when conversing? It's obvious that it would be easier and more natural to do this. Whenever you force yourself to act in manner which isn't the "norm" for you, it will seem fake or contrived. And based on your statement:
women will pick up on this (your act of not being yourself, unless you're a very good actor). As far as keeping in touch with women, I tell them up front that I am very busy and have a lot of things going on, and I might not see them or call very regularly, but they may feel free to call me. That way, they do the chasing, and have to vie for my interest. As a general rule, I don't call any more than every other week,(if that) and it gives them a chance to miss you(absence makes the heart grow fonder). When I do see them, I always try to have something fun to do and I engage them in good conversations (Anything from riding my motorcycle to going to the park to shopping for new boots[for me]) during the activity.



Hope this helps,man

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