Since you are paying for the meal, its ok to chop down 3 sides of cheese fries in front of her before the meal gets started. Remember that if she just sticks with a chicken salad, this is ARBIES and this whole meal wont end up costing more than $17.99
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Don’t forget to tell women that you never met about how you like to feel manlier when you are at the gym surrounded by guys who are pumping iron and eating creatine shakes. Try to tell them you can admire another mans muscles without being gay.
Oh yea. I almost forgot. Do not forget to tell her you can only get it up more than one time a night if you have this month’s copy of Muscle and Fitness magazine. While this does not necessarily make you gay it does not help.
For the sake of humanity don’t try the “its not you it’s me” routine right after you banged her. Wait a few days. Because they won’t be fooled by this.It took some time but they have cought on. I just thought you guys should know
I mean who could it be? the plumber? He does not even have the key to the apartment…
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the proper response to her stating her disappointment with you, you say something like" if you are not satisfied be prepared to live alone". She will respect you a lot more because you are setting boundaries
- When out with a girl and her friends and they have just met you ;always refer to yourself in the 3rd person. For example, "Oh yes Bob loves eating eggs and cheese for breakfast after morning nookie, and bob will love to sleep on the couch just to prove his independence”
If you are on a 1st date and she says half an hour into it “we need to talk” then this is not a good thing unless you just won $50,000 at roulette.
Make your Introductions more memorable. Such as “hi I’m Larry but my friends call me THE DICK TWIZZLER. This will relax her tremendously
When she is amazed at how you have great manners, tell her that this has been the case ever since you had a moment of clarity a few years back. And out of sheer sensitivity you once got the gumption to cancel your Subscription to Penthouse for 2 whole months…
If a hot girl looks nervous on the 1st date, tell her it will be ok because you only charge by the hour.
Sometimes you forget the small stuff so tell her that according to your new way of seeing things, the more dandruff you possess the hotter the sex will be.
Nothing says you know and care about a woman better than you pouring her 8 shots of bourbon. This is extra helpful if she is at your place already.
Don’t be modest. Explain to women you have just met that men worship you because you coined the phrase’s “cream rises to the top” and “groping in the dark”.
If you don’t think she is paying attention to you during your trip the art museum, when you whip it out you will command more of her attention at that time. Part of being a man is knowing when to say when.
You must maintain your identity. If that does not work, you can always hire a fleet of limousines and tell random chicks that you are Donny Trump Jr
Sometimes you just have to send signals to women that you are single and available. A good way to do this is to pretend that you are suffering from a bad case of jock itch when you are at the gym. You will soon be flooded with hot dates since all the single women will know you are open for business.
Women like men who are in touch with their emotions. Tell the next hot chick you are on a date with that you can multi-task by crying when you are getting oral at the same time while watching Oprah. Let the good times roll…
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Sometimes there will be situation when you need to bang a deeply religious girl. In desperate situation like this tell her it will be ok because theoretically if she is on top, would she not be getting in touch with her higher power? OH GOD YES!!!!
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what do you guys think?
CHAT
Well as Wild One said at least it was good for a laugh. Hope he's not serious about this stuff
