I just read up on Shad Helmstetters book "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself" a few months ago, as recommended by David Deangelo, and I think that everybody should use his concept to improve their inner game.
From my experience, it seems that when everyone starts out they always head straight for the short term, outer game, fixes such as neg theory, peacock theory, and openers. I too was guilty of this, and it's taken me a little less than a year (better late than never haha) to realize that without sufficient inner game, the outer game techniques will appear incongruent and others will see you as try hard and someone who is all talk and no game, because up until now you've had none! In their eyes you will appear insecure and unstable because you literally changed your entire personality in less than a month, and are no longer the person they thought you were. You will appear to be someone who has no strong frame, reality, or values because you changed so abruptly and willingly.
I'm passing on one lesson I wish I had learned/heeded (b/c others have said this before me) and an incredibly easy solution for it that I discovered in this book a few months ago.
Here's the lesson I'm sure everybody in the forum has read numerous times: Work on inner game first and then everything else will fall into place.
When I first read this I thought: "Psssh, inner game? I just want to get laid! When I enjoy some level of success then my inner game will fall into place! Now what's for dinner?" Well this didn't happen and won't happen without proper inner game. I enjoyed a little success here or there, but nothing was enough to boost my confidence in epic proportions like I envisioned before. However, since I've been working on my inner game I no longer seem try hard/pretending to be something that I'm not and now I'm starting to experience
some level of the success I dreamed of about a year ago.
Here's the solution: Self Talk (duh) but more importantly a concept in the book which it referred to as
Self Tape.
Self talk is exactly what it sounds like: what you say when you talk to yourself. Obviously you need to replace old limiting self talk such as "She won't like me, I'm not good enough as the guys she has dated before" with "She would be lucky to talk to me and if I want I can easily take her home and fuck her brains out". But it's kind of difficult to always catch yourself when you're in the field thinking these limiting beliefs and replacing them, so here's where Self Tape comes in:
Instead of worrying about catching yourself in field, listen to a CD or playlist telling yourself any and all affirmations you create. (It's called Self Tape because the book was written in the early nineties when tapes were more accessible).
So essentially, you can record yourself or a close friend saying a list of affirmations you have selected and listen to them when you're busy doing something or, my preference, while you're sleeping. Turn the volume down fairly low so it's not distracting - if you can barely make out the words than that's okay because your subconscious mind will pick it up. According to Shad Helmstetter,
if you tell yourself something enough times then your brain will have no choice but to accept it as true. When this happens, you will begin to act accordingly to what you believe. Self Tape speeds up this process and is super easy to do if you have some type of voice recording device that you can use. I use my video camera which has a voice recorder and then download the mp3's onto my computer and burn them on a CD. You can also put them on your iPod or mp3 players as well (I just lost my Zune so I have to use CD's).
Anyway, this concept is so simple and effective because
you can consciously be doing other things while you unconsciously are reframing your beliefs for the better. I've been doing it for about three weeks straight now while I sleep and I have noticed some changes. One big problem I used to have was worrying what others thought of me or how they would perceive my actions - in short, I was too busy seeking the approval of others to actually come off as a confident alpha male. So I recorded the affirmation: "I never care or worry what others think about me" and lately I've noticed that I'm not nervous or worried about that new people I meet think about me.
There's a right and wrong way to do this:
You have to record yourself saying things in first person, present tense with phrases such as, "I am able to talk to beautiful women without feeling nervous" as if you are already able to perform what you are trying to change. You should be as specific as possible when writing them down and keep them positive. When recording, say each affirmation three times each, with about a 10-15 second pause in between. I record myself saying each affirmation (3 times) individually, meaning I have a separate mp3 file for each affirmation. Then when you're finished you must record yourself saying the affirmations once in second person, present tense. For example: "You are able to talk to beautiful women without feeling nervous." Then I take every seperate file and make an album that I burn onto a CD. If you record them individually you can easily add and remove ones you don't want without having to redo all of them. I listen to my Self Tape CD every night I can and keep it on repeat all. Eventually the ear buds fall out, but essentially you get three or four hours of solid self talk.
The idea of Self Tape is awesome because it's incredibly easy considering the results you get. You can change yourself virtually into whatever you want using this technique. Here's a list of some of the affirmations I have heard or come up with that will transform you into the ideal alpha male PUA.
1.) I am always completely detached from the outcome when approaching
beautiful women
2.) I never worry or rehearse negative outcomes
3.) I am a strong, confident, alpha male
4.) I am a self confident leader; I am never a follower
5.) I am extremely attractive to all women; I am the prize to be won
6.) I am passionate and driven to achieve all of my goals
7.) I am an incredibly stable, strong, and masculine leader; I am an alpha
male
8.) I am sexually attractive to all beautiful women and they must always
gain my approval
9.) I am easily able to hold a beautiful women because I am a strong,
sexy, alpha male
10.) I am always able to deal with any test a woman throws at me; in fact,
it's usually kind of cute
11.) I never tolerate disrespect to myself, my time or my property
12.) I am a challenge for all women because I am always indifferent
towards the outcome
13.) I am decisive and confident in all of my decisions
14.) I am always calm, cool, and collected around beautiful women
15.) I never seek the approval of others
16.) I am always sociable, comfortable, and confident when meeting new
people in new surroundings
17.) All women are attracted to me because I am a strong, confident,
alpha male
18.) What I am doing is always the best thing going; I never say "I wish I
would have been there"
19.) I am a little cocky with a cool sense of humor
20.) I am never self conscious about mistakes
21.) I never qualify myself to others
22.) I never try to act cool in order to get attention
23.) I never show off to get noticed
24.) I am the dominant alpha male in all situations
25.) I am a challenge for all women because I am always indifferent
towards the outcome
26.) I am spontaneous and adventurous; never predictable of boring
27.) I am sexually competent on all levels; I am never afraid to escalate
or make a move with a beautiful girl
28.) I never get upset easily; outside events never destabilize me
30.) I always speak with confidence and naturally project my voice
31.) I am naturally clever and good at improvising in any situation
32.) I always stand up straight and hold myself confidently
33.) I am never hindered by any past experiences
34.) I never dwell on the past, I am constantly improving and looking
towards the future
35.) I am never afraid to make mistakes, because I know I can learn from
them
36.) I am completely detached from the outcome when approaching
beautiful women
37.) I never fear rejection or failure
38.) I am a positive, optimistic person who radiates confidence
39.) I never automatically give others elevated status over myself
40.) I never make excuses for my desires
41.) I am a popular, sociable guy who anybody would be lucky to meet
42.) I always enjoy meeting new people
There could be a million more, feel free to post your own affirmations and ideas or modify the ones I made. Obviously, I take no credit for this concept and realize that it isn't anything new.
Enjoy!
CHAT
