Hey guys what's up. My gf broke up with me 3 months ago and to my surprise is with another guy not even a month after we broke up. I was a perfect bf to her, as perfect as a person would get. I was loyal and I loved her genuinely. Don't understand what I did wrong and frankly I just don't want to care anymore. It was a pretty serious long term relationship... and I got messed up bad, emotionally, and mentally... don't feel like talking about it right now though..

Basically I felt emotionally raped, and my confidence is shot down... even as we speak I keep thinking about this girl and I just don't want it anymore.

Right now I believe that I'm ready again to start meeting new people. However, I don't even know where to begin. Its been awhile since I did this and I no longer know my ways. I feel terrible and I lack major confidence. I live in NYC, one may think its easy here but man.. I'm a messed. Not sure what to do, hopely I can learn a lot of things from you guys. I'm just severely lost right now.

I've became antisocial with hardly any girl friends anymore, most of my girl friends are dating right now so thats a no no, plus I just can't seem to talk to girls properly. Used to not be like this... not sure what to do. I suck right now. I lost my game and to make it worse, I feel so unattractive.

Anyways hope I learn from you guys. Anyone else here in NYC btw?

Jaded,
Welcome back to the community. I know what you mean about being emotionally destroyed after a bad breakup. I was in your shoes, except mine was after almost 8 years. This shall pass. Stop focusing on the past, it's already done. Focus on keeping your head up and a smile on your face. She's gone, you need to move on NOW. Give yourself permission to let this go.

If you stick with the community, your confidence will grow exponentially. I suggest Hypnotica. In your case, as in most, inner game mastery is key.

BTW, I live just outside the city and there are many members of this forum in the tri-state area.

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Life is a game. Win.

The best cure is to find somebody else, serious.

Otherwise you will just stew in your thoughts and all the dark forces will engulf you.

I agree and disagree at the same time.

I agree that finding someone else will temporarily boost the confidence level. However, I disagree because coming out of a bad breakup, there are inner issues that need to be worked on before being able to pursue anything of substance.

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Life is a game. Win.

It sucks bro, but hopefully will you find all the help you need here.

Finding someone else is great and all, but in the beginning I really couldn't do it. So I'm not really sure how she was able to so quickly but I myself was not able to. If given a chance, I wouldn't have able to do it because I'll still be thinking of my ex and in the end I'll probably just hurt the girl I'm with... or compare her to my ex most of the time. I just have to get my ex off my system (in that way) and I feel like I can start again. Just not sure how but I guess I'll read up on Hypnotica. It's a good place to begin since severla have alreayd recommended it to me. Thanks

Listen, bro. I'm glad that you are in touch with your own inner workings. This will be critical to you later on. I don't mean to sound like an a-hole, but you need to just move on from your ex. She's your ex for a reason. She's gone, let her go. Why would you want to think about someone who has wronged you? Why would you want to think about and dwell on and compare other people to a person who misused your trust?

Never compare two people. Not two women, not two coworkers. Don't compare other people to yourself (that's my biggest issue right now). Take each person as their own person and be honest about who each person is, on their own, without comparison.

You say that she moved on fast? Don't worry about her actions, they are just that, her actions. You cannot try to rationalize someone else's actions because you have no clue why they did what they did. You can only account for your own actions. Read the "Second Agreement" below.
Your journey through life, and especially when training and studying to become a PUA, is a selfish one. Sometimes selfish is good. You are doing this for you, not for anyone else. You need to stop worrying about what others have done in the past, because it's gone, focus on the present and prepare for the future.

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Life is a game. Win.

Thanks Medic needed that slap of realization. but I am definitely over her in terms of getting back together with her. She wasn't worth my time and effort and I don't want to bother with her. she regressed in terms of maturity and I found myself drained by her. Reason why I am here is as you have said. All for me =) and meet new people too. Thanks man.

Why are you still speaking about her?

You're here for you, there should be no "and" in that sentence. You can't do this for anyone but yourself.

I really don't want to hear about your ex anymore.

I remember when I used to play football, I was a D lineman. The coach used to say, "Keep your head up. Your body goes where your eyes look." In other words, keep your head up.

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Life is a game. Win.

Alright cool. So I got Neil Strauss' "The Game" and the Mystery Method. Should I get Hypnotica also and probably a DVD or something?