Ox,

I don't understand why that was a train wreck. Honestly. Why was that even sleezy? I mean, it wasn't the most alpha thing in the world, but you don't want to be alpha ALLL the time, especially during comfort/rapport.

I mean, keeping in touch with her until May 17th? Just send her three random or fun messages in between now and the 17th. That's all you need. Much more than that, you come across as needy or obsessive.

As far as breaking the texting ice... I like using random weird messages that will make the other person laugh. C & F works great. Push Pull is fantastic during text messages (personal favorite.) However, you've already started texting this girl, so if you change your tone right now before the 17th, it might be jarring.

Give me more information and maybe I can help you.

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- Zip

Alright there. First of all, does your EX know anything about PUA or was it her idea to take you out and go "meet some other girls" with her?

Basically, you can either use her to open sets for you (she goes in first, or takes charge first, disarming the set, then you "jump in" to the set or conversation she's opened) OR you open, lead, and she is just there to DHV you, offer you preselection, disarm the group just by being there, occupy the obstacles when you move in to isolate your target, bla bla bla (everything else a PUA wing does.)

Now, as far as offering preselection... you need to make sure that if you're going to tell people when they ask (and if you get to the hook point of a daygame set, they will ask) if you are dating that she is a "good friend." You don't want to say ex or girlfriend during daygame IMO. You can hint if you choose, but if it gets down to it... say she's your "former girlfriend turned personal shopper" or something funny and to demonstrate her higher value. DHV her (in subtle, non-romantic ways) and she can fully DHV you in set.

One of my favorite things to say when I'm winging a guy is right after my wing has either made a joke, gotten a laugh, or said something a little racy is, "This guy has been a friend of mine for ever. He always has the best stories" or "...He makes our friends laugh all day long." or something of that nature. I usually direct it at the obstacle(s), but of course the object will hear it.

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- Zip

hmmm. I don't think I can really disagree with this, but I do have a question about it.

First off I would really like to state my extreme displease with you; with the fact that you took (and who knows HOW you found it) a 'not-too-old' picture of me and posted it on PUA forums for everyone to make an example of. That really isn't nice, nor is it constructive for me...at least tell me I am the epitome of poor body language before you tell everyone else. Sheesh.

Now that I have gotten my emotional devastation out of the way, onto the good stuff. I have never really focused nor studied much on slash about body language. This is something i HAVE been meaning to do. However, just looking back on my social interactions - I am not sure how those listings can be accurate for everyone. Should I assume they just mean that in most cases thats what those "positions" portray?

I find that I do a lot of those; not because I am feeling that way, but because they are bad habits, or because things like a.) my nose itches a lot, b.) rubbing the back of my neck is soothing, and c.) I like to make eye contact, but I also love looking around.

So I am wondering, how can I have such great social interaction with such negative body language? Even if the body language is not affecting "me," is it still something I should work on?

I'd like to point out something in support of the body language though also.

Ka noted (as a lot of people would agree), it is not about what your intentions are, but how they are perceived. If I am just a confident (but a sometimes fidgety person) this does not mean I am not confident and that I am uncomfortable; but it will come off as that.

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[color=red:7c51ae7520]email is a better option: thelockestar@gmail.com[/color:7c51ae7520][/size:7c51ae7520]

Get over it.
Did you read what I wrote? The examples I gave are PURIST interpretations of body language. That's why I said know what certain body language makes YOU portray... as in it's specific to everyone but there are general social clues that will come across the board as "nervous" or "confident."
You're PROBABLY a confident enough guy where your negative body language habits come across as quirky and fun rather than insecure. Who knows though, I've only met you a few times and wasn't paying attention.

Here's the thing... you should always want to work on things, just to know that you have control over them. Yes, you can get laid without mastering body language... but wouldn't you rather know what you're capable of if you were totally in control of your body during social interactions? Even if you learned what body language makes you come across as a bad ass mother fucker, you could consciously choose certain "body language" rules to break... hence that whole conversation about James Dean.
Yes, I agree and disagree. It depends. If you intentions are strong enough, they will shine through no matter what your body is doing. However, human beings are socially cued by other people's body language. If you're slouching, biting your nails, looking around, turning in your feet, collapsing your chest... but feel like a million dollars.... I'm probably going to go off your negative body language rather than a hint of confidence I might somehow perceive in your eyes.

The thing that I KNOW is absolutely true about body language is that the outer will affect the inner and the inner will affect the outer. Think about a nasty memory. Now fake a smile, try to hold on to that memory and that smile. Eventually, that bad nasty feeling starts to subside, even with a faked smile.

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- Zip

From a topic in the newbie section i am curious on your opinion.

Does height matter?

and on a personal note, what about very short guys (5ft 2)?

Assuming all other features are average and also what about if they are supirior in other ways?

/madals

Do you think constantly being aware of, monitoring, and altering your body language might remove flow and "naturalness" from conversation? If you are standing there focusing on what is to be said and how your body should be, wouldn't you be withdrawling yourself from the conversation - in turn making it less sincere? You can't have a true, passionate, mindful conversation while focusingon other things...

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[color=red:7c51ae7520]email is a better option: thelockestar@gmail.com[/color:7c51ae7520][/size:7c51ae7520]

Duh. at first. It's awkward and takes practice. However, I'm at the point where it's second nature. If I feel like I want to make someone think I'm not attracted to them, my body just goes.

Stolen from posts by Rye Lee:
unconscious incompetence
conscious incompetence
conscious competence
unconscious competence

You practice and experiment until you get to the point of unconscious competence. You're not sitting there thinking (okay, body angle... negative shoulder... feet pointed at her... etc.) You're enjoying the conversation with control over your body.

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- Zip

Yes it does. However, if the guy is superior in other ways, it will become less of an obstacle.

Tom Cruise is short. I'd do him. But that's also because he's Tom Cruise.

I'm only 5'4", but I don't know about a guy who is 5'2". He'd have to kick ass in order for me to get past the height.

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- Zip

I kick ass and I'm only 4'21"... I don't see what the problem is.

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Life is a game. Win.

Do you get sick of answering questions?

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- Difference

52 pages and going strong... obviously not

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- Zip

Let's see if your answer is the same when you get to 100 pages!

How about pointless questions such as this?

Oh, last one: Who do YOU go to when you need advice from a guy?

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- Difference

Okay, good question. I go to my best friend... who so happens is a guy. a straight guy.... oooh, so scandalous.... more details? ask away.

btw... 100 pages... outrageous.

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- Zip

You said it was hard to get into your panties..so how come u always have a guy your sleeping with?
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1.Okay so... my question is do you like shy,introverted guys more or those with lots of popularity and extroverts.
2. when a girl formulates a bad opinion of a guy in her mind due to whatever reason ...is there anyway to change that while keeping your dignity in tact?

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DJ The Great
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oops..sorry Zip i posted before u edited ur last post hehe..
anyways another question:
1. What is a girl really trying to show when she looks me from top to bottom and somehow loses track of what she's doing and becomes nervous and kinda blushes.
2.The other day this group of girls saw me and somehow were giggling.. i do not know what to make of it...?
3.Why are girls so weird as to always give IOIs and not approach ...instead wait for the guy to approach them and most of the time the HBs are the ones who behave so naughtily. The less hot ones are kinda detached from all of this. Explain?

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DJ The Great
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