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Defining Approach Anxiety
In field you see a set, and you don't approach it, for whatever reason. Now your mind gets a little needy and starts to look around, you become reaction seeking, your senses get heightened and your fight or flight response is activated. When this happens its actually a physical process where certain fluids are released in your body and brain to prevent you from engaging. These are paralysing, and harmful to your health. Your body begins to tense up, your throat muscle swell, your face muscles don't respond properly, your in the first stages of 'shock' and you don't even know it. You paralyse and become trapped in your mind, evidently it makes your next sets all the more difficult if at all possible, by now your mind and body on a physical and mental level, are not working to benefit you rather, working against you.
Alot of people have emailed and asked me personally how I deal with approach anxiety. Let me firstly tell you that I am no different from you, PUA or not, awesome in sets or not, I'm a human being, I fail and succeed just as much as anyone, and I am also not immune to these side effects.
I have had times where I have used my own material and have gotten amazing success.. just truly amazing, you wouldn’t believe some of the story’s I have to tell you, some of which even mystery would be astounded at! And there have been times where I have gone in field and got my ass trashed with no results due to my lack of preparation. Human nature, "we are all biological out of date machines, sophisticated as we are, we are no newer then a line of Vic20's compared to the latest IBM's " (credits: mystery. MM).
Overcoming Approach Anxiety
To overcome this Approach Anxiety, you first have to realise that its not a off and on button. It's not a routine or a DHV neg spike, where you can just do it and volla. Its a process that needs to be done gradually and there are things involved that your mind because of the lazy in build habits that youve accumulated and become accustom to over the years won't want to brake and do.
You can't as a PUA, expect to be out of the field for two weeks, and spontaneously recover on your first day back! Some people have struck on luck, but you should never rely on it. You have to realise and understand that every single day that you go to sleep, your body presses a RESET button, almost like In computer terms, and any work you have open gets lost. The RAM equivalent in your head or random access memory gets completely erased. The longer your out of field, and I'm talking days not weeks, the more information you will begin to forget and you will need to re-rehearse to internalise it for a longer period of time.
It is estimated that we forget nearly 80% of all information over time. How on earth are you going to keep up your game under those odds? well, what if you constantly practice it?
Here are a few steps.
1. Women get ready before they go out, they spend hours on makeup, we only need to spend about 15 - 20 min at most! after that we will be braking down the bathroom door. But that preparation that is done ie 1 hour, still needs to be done by men, but in the form of going through your routines and sarge material before you hit in field. So what i do, is sit down, i have a small book where I’ve wrote down my personal openers, pen to paper, and re read everything. Choose what I will do that night or day, get it through my head, and then go out and perform it. During day game you won't need more then about, 3-4 openers. I have several written out for every place I go to. Ie, some for the Art Gallery, some for the Park, some for the Mall, so on.
2. Go in the field early, and get accustom to the surroundings. There’s nothing worser then going into foreign territory, and having to meet new people. Your fear of the unknown circuitry will kick in right away, simply because its a new ground, you don't know where youve been. However even if you’ve been there, but haven’t gone there in 2 weeks, that same switch will be triggered.
3. Get yourself in a computable frame of mind which is non approval seeking, and which is relaxed and non caring. Bad energy can be picked up by anyone, it doesn’t have to be a girl, anyone can feel your tension if you have it, and boy is it ugly. It makes other people feel insecure about themselves, and this negative vibe builds very strongly.
4. Think good funny thoughts, this helps if you have a life. If you don't have a life, go get one, go to the entertainment park, go out with friends, do stupid shit, and remember the times, they are now your story’s that you can use in field. Be happy to be yourself and have fun. Remember women are little bratty kids that smell like poo!
5. Have something better to do then meet women, while going to meet women! I always have a plan of what I'm going to do that day, where I'm going.. wether its shopping, or exploring, or sitting on the grass reading 'The Game' or whatever, I have a set of places I need to be, by a set time, and if i happen to see a attractive young lady that I like, then I will open her. I don't look or hunt for her! Alot of newbie mistakes start here, I know because I was a personal victim of this.
6. Wear comfortable clothes. Wear something you feel compfy in, I usually wear thongs in field, and am dressed down. I always carry at least one interesting item, and I do use “prots” to help me. Such as:
i) Camera
ii) A drink, for when i get fatigued
iii) Personal in field book/chi chi, a blank small pad and pen.
7. Have a weekly sarge plan. I always sarge day game at least 3 times a week. Saturday, Sunday, Friday. Don’t be afraid to sarge during the week on public transport or wherever. And i always sarge night game at least once or twice a week.
8. Know that women want men, they like men, and they are interested in men. They go out to subconsciously meet that guy, even if they are doing other things. They like cock, they are designed to love sex over us. Their main role in this world is to give birth, they are far more sexually centred then we are, and they are more then happy to be around you, if you understand the basic principles of the game.
9. If you didn't do as well today, your going out again tomorrow to make up for it.
10. The approach has little value, its the approximately 7 hours of correct comfort building that gets the girl.
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Key in field day rules.
Okay now your in field, what do you do, or keep in mind?
1. Body language. Keep it in mind, when you open your first set of the day and you’ve been out for a while, you’ll notice how needy it responds.
2. Voice Tonality. Your voice is a metaphor for who you are, make sure its projective, calm confident, deep, bright, and strong.
3. Kino. Don't forget, without this tool the game doesn’t go to the next level. This is what takes you from comfort into anything else.
4. Smile. Smile don't look threatening, have fun, bust her balls, your out to enjoy yourself, you’ve had a long week.
5. Approach at least 2 warm up sets, its recommended not required, but i get in more of a chatty state when i do. Don't be afraid to stop sets in their tracks, or to open large sets! Throw a opener and then a small routine, get the voice that’s inside of you out there.
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Once your Approach Anxiety level is very low to none, maybe you instant dated a girl and got another girls number and it was solid, don't stop there! go to the mall, and push another 20%, get another number or two. There will be flakes, and the flake rate is about 10% for me, but up to 60-70% is considered normal. Don't settle especially if your peeking on the very high that day.
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Alot more comming in my free and priced ebooks, answering all questions, about Day Game. Fall 2008!
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Back, starting over as of 2012.
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