Hey, everyone. I'm Corduroy and I'm new to pickup. . I got started because I just got sick of meeting and dating flaky girls. . So here's the situation I'm in.

I just met this girl last Friday. I was having a friend L's going away party at my house and we started chatting about music. Eventually, she got her hands on one of my guitars and started playing along to the stereo. We'd trade off on the guitar and talk some more.

Girl: "Yeah. Moved here about 4 months ago. Used to play keyboard in a band."

Me: "Yeah? I used to drum in one of the bands in town. "

Girl: "Cool! I've always wanted to learn but I can't really co-ordinate my arms and legs for it."

Me: "Lemme show you."

I demonstrate a basic rock rythem on my knees. She tries and fails.

Me: "No no. Here."

I move in front of her (we were side by side in the living room. Me on the floor. Her on the recliner.) take her hands and and show her how it's done. I'm holding her hands for about 30 seconds, look her in the eye and I know it's on.

There's a bit of a problem at this point:

A) I had a monogamous girlfriend. I already knew things weren't going to last much longer. But I still needed to break up with her.
B) L already told her I had a girlfriend.

We spend the rest of the night watching the drunken debautery, joking, singing and taking photos. At one point in the night, while we're sitting side by side, our hands are touching. I brush my fingers against hers but don't take it further. She doesn't pull back. We fall asleep on my couch.

Saturday morning, everyone has already left save for the girl. I offer to give her a ride home and she agrees. She has to go meet her friend from out of town for breakfast and I have to see the girlfriend. I drop her off and we say our goodbyes. I stop home to clean and check e-mails. She's already added me to Facebook!

I go to a movie with the girlfriend (Baby Mama. Ugh. Huge crush on Tina Fey but... no thanks.) and a very happy coincidence happens. She breaks it off. We break up on good terms and that's that. I'm free!

Sunday
I'm working on my computer and notice the girl is online. We chat for a while and she asks how my movie date went. I explain that she broke up with me. She expresses sympathy and I tell her it's ok and I saw it coming. Not to mention that I'm more choked that she made me sit through that movie before she broke it off than anything. We joke and chat some more and I ask her out to tea. She says yes.

Monday
I meet up with her at the teahouse and we talk about our days, travel, and living in smalltowns. We go for a walk by the river. Stop by the bar for drinks and a game of pool. I walk her home. We start talking about what she'd done for her birthday.

Girl: "When's your birthday."

Me: "June 22."

Girl: "Oh. That's coming up. how old are you?"

Me: "I'll be turning 24."

Girl: "Oh... I thought you were our age."

Me: "Ouch. Your age? So how old are you?"

Girl: "19"

Me: "Well. Glad we got that out of the way."

We continue to walk home and I take her hand.

Me: "I meant to do this during the party but as you may have heard, that situation was a little complicated."

As we get to her house, I look her in the eyes and try to go for the kiss close. She stops me.

Girl: "Have you ever loved anyone and had your heart broken?"

Me: "Yeah. She cheated."

Girl: "I just left someone back home. I like you but I'm not ready to start seeing anyone right now."

I nod. Tell her I understand and we talk a bit more. We make plans to go to the bar later that week. It ends with a kiss on the cheek from her.

Whew. Long story. Ok. I have NO IDEA what to do now. She seems to be hung up on "the first love/high school sweetheart". And she seems interested but I have no clue as to how to escalate while still staying within reasonable boundries of comfort. I don't want to turn into drooling, orbiting dork.

We're seeing each other tonight! Thanks in advance for checking this out.

THats Bullshit.. her saying that was, "i cna get you anytime I want, ur no challenge to me and I want to search around and vary my options." Guirat was a good DHV, and the hlding was good Kino, but you conveyed too much interest. U walked into a trap man.. better luck next time.

UNLESS: she is one of those clingy girls.. then what she says might be true, but remmeber what a girl says and what she means is 2 different things.. let me lick your hairy asshole please!

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May The Venusian Arts enrich your life, not define it. - Mystery

Well, since you're seeing her tonight, it can still be salvaged!! Perhaps give her some IODs and make her qualify herself?

Ok, I'll confess that that was just too long for me to read and so I only read the last thing she said about not being ready to see someone yet and past. From what I did read though, I figure I've got the gist. You met a girl, you're interested, she's interested, but she's not ready for a relationship and so you want to know what to do to make it work anyways. Just got out of a similar situation, so I feel quite qualified to answer this.

Don't try to have a relationship with her. Seriously, I know it isn't what you want to hear and you're gonna assume that it's cause I just got out of trying to make a similar situation work and yours is different, but it's the truth. She's gonna resist, she's gonna be interested, but at the same time half of her is gonna be running away and it won't end well for either of you.

You can attempt to see her here and there, have some fun and fuck her, but don't attempt a relationship, because it will end badly, it always does in these cases. If you are at a point where you feel you haven't been growing and this will help you along, sure, I recommend guys get fucked up like this, I sure got some growth out of it, but if you're just starting out (which you say you are), then this will set you back more than help you.

Concentrate on yourself and growing and improving yourself, not trying to work something out with someone that is broken and obviously doesn't want to put in the effort to grow, which was made apparent when she said she wasn't ready for a relationship, instead of saying she was willing to try it. You can't help someone else grow, when you are still trying to grow and get to where you want to be yourself. You can't make someone grow and get better for you, they need to want it for themselves. She doesn't want those things, so it won't work.

Sorry man, but not the right time for you guys. Move on.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye