I've been nuts about this girl since I was 16. That was eight long years ago. It took about three or four years (yes, well after graduation) before I could even get the nerve to speak to her. There was some very intense mutual flirtation that never panned out, because when I actually made a move to ask her out, she confused me by saying she had a boyfriend, and so I moved on and figured that was it.

Four or five years later, I've gone through a lot, learned a lot, gotten a lot better looking and become a pretty cool person, and I unexpectedly bumped into her at a mutual friend's concert. She was coming in with a girlfriend, I was leaving; she seemed happy to see me, but I couldn't stay. I hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, asked a couple questions about what she's up to, and said good night--thirty seconds, max. I looked really good and I only casually paid attention to her. (She's still fucking GORGEOUS, btw.) Apparently I left her intrigued because she dropped me a Facebook the next day saying it was good to see me, "and you were looking pretty good, might I add," and that we should catch up some time. She also asked if I hang at that bar a lot. Not wanting to look eager, I replied saying that I'm only there occasionally and divide my hangout time among several places around town. She wrote again saying to let her know when I was heading somewhere and we could make plans.

I've attempted to do exactly that a couple of times since but it hasn't panned out, usually because she didn't get the messages in time. Oddly enough I ran into her again Friday night at a two-sided nightclub--she was going in on one side as I was leaving the other. We hugged and attempted to set something up but the bouncers were assholes and forced us out of the middle area so I just left. I messaged her that night, "You know, this all gets a LOT easier when you give me your number." She replied and we've messaged back and forth about that club and some other stuff, but after that and one prior request she still hasn't given up the number.

I've been keeping my messages extremely brief and limited to only what's immediately relevant, and I end with one question so she has a reason to respond, but I'm running out of reasons to respond and feel I'm probably gonna get written off again if I can't actually get to her sometime soon. If I blow it this time I don't know if I'll get another chance. I wanna get her out with me this weekend but I don't know why she's not giving the number.

It's my turn to reply. What's her holdup? And what can I say to finally get her number without looking like I'm really chomping at the bit to get it?

Is her number on her facebook?

- Chris

No lol. I looked.

Damn. well it's 11:56 and I'm dead tired. I'll sleep on it and give you something good tomorrow when I re-edit this post and give you something good if no one else does (there are a lot of fantastic minds on this forum).

Finding innovative ways out of tough situations happens to be one of my pick-up specialties. I've always enjoyed the challenge of finding new and clever ways to handle the situations that no one else can - I'm like the Gregory House of seduction.

- Chris

Get her schedule and then pick out a time, then ask what the chances are of her not showin up. It sucks when you're really after a girl, but it's all too easy to screw it up by pursuing her too hard.

My suggestion is to move on. Forget about her or use her for practice. This is a Pick-Up Artist site. This is about picking up women, not about AFCs trying to score that one girl so they can revert back to being a dumbass again.

Even if I did give you the correct advice on what to do with this "one" girl, chances are you don't have the inner game to pull it off anyhow. One thing you'll learn is that you can't fake body language. You may speak the correct words, but if your body language is wrong, you'll get blown out. Seven percent of your conversations with people are the actual words. The rest is non-verbal and tone.

My advice to you is to read. Read the PUA material. Read a book on Body Language. Read a book on Inner Game. This is a good start and should help you on your way. PUA isn't about winning that one girl, it's about changing your life.

::Slow clap::

Wow, that was THE single most unhelpful thing anyone's had to say to me in several months, and the real kicker of it is that you had to go really far out of your way to work up that kind of jackass indignation and sustain it long enough to read the whole thread, hit reply, tear off three snotty paragraphs, and hit Submit. You always tell guys to walk away from interested women without making any real attempt? That's gotta garner you hella respect around this place. Do you waste this kind of time often, or do you actually use some portions of your day to attempt positive things? Actually, since you're that great, in the seven or so minutes all that probably took you, you probably could've F-closed somewhere. Didn't someone once say "Time is pussy?" Oh, wait, I coined that just now. Oh, well, all the same, what a shame for your life you wasted that on me.

Lemme clarify somethin here for the next jackass who comes along, before somebody else wastes more of MY fuckin time with a stupid, useless response--this is not a girl I'm trying to date. This is not "That One Girl" I'm trying to score so I can settle down with her for life. We're not even remotely compatible. This is a girl I wanna pound. When I look at her, I see sex. That's what I saw eight years ago, and it's what I see now, and I'm sure she knows by now we don't have much in common besides sheer attraction. I've wanted to nail her a long damn time, and no--I'm NOT ashamed of that. And even if I don't get to nail her, I think any interaction with her at all is at least worthwhile experience here. So I didn't nail her then--that means I shouldn't take advantage of the opportunity as it's presenting to me right now? Wouldn't that be, oh, completely against the principles here? To walk away from a girl who seems willing, no attempts?

I am not new to this game. I am not a child, nor am I an idiot. I know a thing or two about body language, and in case it hasn't busted through yet, I can handle my shit verbally too. I also am fully aware of what PUA is about, even if I'm still pretty new to the game. Instead of assuming and throwing forth a rather offensive reply, maybe you could've asked a couple of questions and gotten enough clarification from me to know that we're actually on the same damn page with this.

Anybody else got something helpful to say?

While I completely agree with you about body laguage and inner game you can't criticize others for their goals with pick-up. Don't underestimate someone's skills or abilities just because they have different goals than you. No two people have the same aspirations or desires - I have known corresponded with thousands of PUAs and everyone desires something different.

Remember in The Game how those "master pick-up artists" in their brilliance advised countering one-itis with more sarging yet wound up miserable, emotionally unfulfilled and popping pills or having psychological impotence issues? They don't know what they are talking about - Mystery could imitate an alpha male in field yet he cried like a little baby every time things didn't go his way.

One-itis isn't as cut and dry as mainstream pick-up would like it's customers to believe. People can become emotionally attached to another woman and connect with them - it does not make them dumbasses it makes them human.

I question why you even bothered to write such a cruel post. While I can respect your opinion you do not need to be an arrogant prick to give it. You should try giving a criticisism or opinion and actually offering to help someone instead of saying, "I'm full of myself - I know everything you are doing wrong but I am not going to tell you how to fix it because you are not worthy of my knowledge."

We all joined this community with personal issues in need of change - we are here to help one another.

- Chris

Thank you very much.

So I'm interested in this Dr. House business...what think you here?

Sorry I forgot to even reply to that post, It upset me to see that arrogant post and I ended up relying to that instead lol. Your situation isn't as simple a five letter word to get her number - one of the main philosophies I teach students of my seduction system is that actions speak louder than words.

As for the number, you have kept a low profile and not come off as needy which is very good. What you should do is make sure you are inconspicuously giving off as much value as possible (embedded DHVs).

Remember that you have no commitment whatsoever to her - she is the one refusing to give you her number (perhaps to see if you will work for it as most guys do).

You need to turn the tables - one thing I pulled on a woman a while ago in a situation which very similar to yourself (flaking on the number) was take her out to a club (as a "friend") with me and flirt with (and even kiss close) another girl in front of her. The same girl who was flaking off giving me her number previously was suddenly chasing me down trying to get me to take her number and I became to one playing hard to get by gaining control of the situation.

Jealousy is extremely powerful with women. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how powerful social value is - even the coldest woman will start chasing a man down if she sees other attractive girls sexually interested him - because he is the rare one who won't praise her and will walk away and find someone else.

It makes the woman feel like she's lost her chance with you and lets her know that you are not going to play games with her like the AFCs do and that you are an alpha male who lives your own life.

- Chris

Definitely agree on that...I'd pull something like that if only I could get her out somewhere with me. We haven't even been able to set up any kind of meeting, and we don't move in the same circles so in spite of the two recent instances I'm not gonna run into her anywhere anytime soon. I guess I'm just at a loss for how to get her into the same room with me so I can begin advancing from there.

Grow up son. I don't come on the forums unless I'm at work. That's right, your tax dollars are paying me to surf the internet.

I've been nuts about this girl since I was 16. That was eight long years ago.

Sounds like some kind of one-itis to me kid. Not only that, but you had SEVERAL situations to come away with her number, and yet you've made excuse after excuse to why you didn't. It's simple. You were fucking scared to make that move. Nothing beyond her dropping dead in front of you should have stopped you from getting her number. So if you were scared, it tells me you have inner game issues. I understand that the truth hurts sometimes, and no man likes to be told he needs to grow balls.

Stop making excuses as to why you didn't get the number in person the two times you ran into her and using the internet to hide your lack of inner game. "oh, the big bad bouncers stopped me from getting her number" ...lol Listen to yourself man. I'm a bouncer and I know you are full of shit. Those bouncers didn't stop you, your inner game did. Who the fuck are you fooling kid?

I'm sorry you didn't like the advice, but it was the best advice I could give you given the information you posted.

1) obsessed with girl for 8 years
2) had 2 opportunities to get number after getting massive IOIs and made excuses.

Any real PUA would tell you the same thing.

edit: Also, you describe her as a Dream HB. What kind of thinking is that? No, you should be the Dream catch here, NOT her. She's just one of a million chicks that has the opportunity to get with you. Alpha males would already know that though. To be able to win, you first have to accept the possibility that you very well could lose. Reward doesn't come without Risk.

You're really an unhelpful ASS, you know that?

First off, I'm not obsessed with this girl. I hadn't even thought about her in ages until I ran into her again. I didn't get her number those times in the past because I was a different person then and that was before I was trying to use this stuff in attempt to change, an effort you obviously don't remember is actually a PROCESS and no one jumps into it an expert. I *never* claimed the bouncers stopped me from getting her number, I said they were assholes and I was done dealing with it and turned around and left. I "didn't like your 'advice?'" The only thing you've said so far that could be considered helpful in any direction at all is the edit at the end of your last response.

What a fuckin jerkoff.