| First of all if you've been in the community for the past year like I have, none of this is gonna be new to you and you may even be pissed off at me for not going into crazy detail about attraction/comfort phases and so on, but this is for the new guys and I don't want to overload anyone with information. I read the mystery method twice and I still couldn't remember half the shit, and to be honest I was kicking my own ass by over-analysing things and thinking too much about what I was doing every time I went out, so I wanted to keep it as simple as possible.
So, here we go. You’re going to be good. Really good. All I ask of you is this: don’t argue with anything you read here before you actually get your ass out there and do it. I don’t see this being an issue though, because there are no routines here. No canned openers. No techniques. No complex theories to memorise.
“So, what am I reading this for?”, I hear you ask. I mainly decided to write this because people are starting to worry about the PUA community being exposed even further through the media to the point that women everywhere will know about it and they're scared shitless of using routines incase they get busted. Also, because there is no complex shit to remember - just a few rules and guidelines, and some general advice for certain situations. The advice given to most people by their parents and friends is to be yourself, and I imagine you’ve heard this yourself. They just didn’t tell you to be your BEST self, and that‘s exactly what you're gonna mould yourself into every morning before you go out. You won’t need to rely on routines, complex openers, how to transition from this to that or how to escalate into different situations. Because you're gonna be a natural, and naturals don‘t need to worry about any of that stuff. If you happen to be the kind of person who doesn’t give a shit about personal appearance, or you talk about stuff that most people would find severely inappropriate or offensive, then we’re gonna have to work on that. Besides that, you should be good to go. Let’s get started with a few rules… and yeah, you’ll find this kinda stuff in every other book you read, but it’s a very important foundation and you’d be surprised how many guy overlook certain things. Girls spend a huge amount of time making themselves look better; you can make yourself look your best in about half an hour, tops. It’s the least you can do.
Let's get started!
Looks don't matter as much as you think. I don’t care if you’re really fat or really skinny, if you have big ears or a big nose or if you’re shorter than most guys or whatever your excuse is. I don't care what you tell yourself because it's going to stop right now. There are some truly hideous people out there who still get laid so obviously that's not the issue here - it's only a problem if you make it one. This is who you are, so make the best of what you have. I never thought I was attractive, and once I started believing in myself everything startd getting better; it will be the same for you. Let's begin.
· First and foremost, shower and shave. If you have facial hair make sure it’s kept short and styled.
· While you’re in the shower, wash and condition your hair. You don’t need to condition if it’s really short though.
· Got acne? There are products for that, so use them.
· Dry skin? Me too. Moisturise.
· Bushy eyebrows? Sort them out. Monobrow? Me too. Shave that shit. Some people say you should pluck them but that shit HURTS. I can withstand hours of tattooing no problem, but come near me with tweezers and I’m getting the fuck outta there.
· Deoderant is a must. Most manufacturers make a dry anti-perspirant/deoderant; this stuff is gold.
· Wear a nice cologne. Pick something you like, not something with a big name. My favourites are Jazz by Yves Saint Laurent, and Davidoff Silver Shadow. What can I say, I‘m a sucker for labels. Seriously though, they smell damn good.
Alright, so now you look and smell fabulous. You’re naked though, so we need to sort that out. I don’t know what your dress sense is like or if it suits you, but it’s far too complex and there are plenty of guides to help you with this… if you aren’t sure about your look, tell your friends you’re going to try a new style and ask them to help you pick out some stuff that looks good on you.
Looking good! Now what?
Now you’re looking and smelling good, you need to go out. Go somewhere busy like a shopping mall or a busy city. It’s not that easy though! Women won’t approach you no matter how attractive they find you, it’s a fact of life. There are exceptions, but in my experience women only really start a conversation with you when you’re out at a bar and she really likes the look of you. If you go out and just stand around waiting for a girl to approach you it’s gonna take a long fucking time even if you’re a male model with a horse cock.
You see a girl you like - great! There will be loads of them to choose from but you can’t approach every one. If she likes you she will make eye contact. This is a tricky thing though, so here is a rough guide on who to approach. Obviously you should only approach the ones who are attracted to you aswell, so here is how to tell if she likes you.
· If she doesn’t look at you at all, too bad.
· If she looks you in the eye then looks straight away, too bad.
· If she holds eye contact for longer than a few seconds, she likes you. Fact.
· If she holds eye contact for a couple of seconds then looks away, then looks back really quickly before looking away again, she likes you. Same if she looks back and holds her gaze. All girls are different, just remember that. Just because she holds her gaze longer it doesn’t mean she likes you more.
· If she holds eye contact for a couple of seconds then doesn’t look back, she either likes you but feels intimidated, or she doesn’t like you. You’ll have to talk to her and read her body language to find out!
Alright, so you spotted a girl and feel she likes you. Now you’re have to do something about it. Get all those excuses and ‘what if’ questions out of your mind. Worst case scenario, she turns you down. So what? Move on to the next one. They have guys coming up to them all the time so she isn’t gonna remember you, and chances are you won‘t ever see her again so stop your shit and go talk to her. You won’t know the outcome until you go talk to her and you certainly have nothing to lose by finding out. As a matter of fact, she might not get a lot of guys approaching her because they’re too scared to! You might just be making her day, and unless you talk to her you just don‘t know. IT IS BETTER TO DIE ON YOUR FEET THAN TO LIVE ON YOUR KNEES. I saw that painted on a wall one time and it has stuck with me ever since - and let’s face it, you’re not exactly gonna die, are you? So get up and CHARGE!!!!
Alright, motivational speech time is over. So, you’re all fired up and you wanna take on the world! You go out and see a girl you like, she gives you good eye contact and she touches her hair. Holy shit! She wants you to talk to her… but wait, you don’t know what to say or what to talk about. Actually, yes you do. You do it every day with people you know already, and that’s going to be the key to your success. You don’t need to say anything imaginative to get her talking, because she isn’t gonna remember it anyway and you don’t need her to think you’re special for her to want to talk to you. If the attraction is there, it isn’t what you say that counts. Put yourself in her shoes for a second, and bear in mind women are after the same thing as us… they’re biologically driven towards the same things, they have the same physical needs and as much as society says otherwise, it‘s true.
Scenario: You see this guy and you really like him, you don’t know why and you don‘t care. He comes up to you and says hi. He asks what you’re up to, and starts talking about how his day has been and other assorted shit. Damn, he seems really comfortable talking to you. Guys aren’t usually this confident, what’s his deal?
Alright, back to reality. You can stop thinking like a woman now. I know a lot of girls and I know what makes them tick, and believe me… a lot of the time they’re completely oblivious to your intentions. Even though they’re attracted to you, they may think you’re just being friendly. I knew a guy who worked in the same place as me a couple of years ago, and he asked this girl out. They went out for a couple of drinks and this other guy came up to her while he was away, they hit it off and they started making out (If there’s one reason not to make a date for the weekend, this is it). My friend returned, was understandably shocked, and he left in a very bad mood. The next day she asked him why he left! He thought it was a date, she thought it was a friendly drink. She thought he was just being nice… and this, gentlemen, is why you need to make your intentions clear. I’m not saying you should ask her to be your girlfriend or something stupid like that, what I mean is that when you do get a girl to come out with you, let her know you want more than just friendship when you meet her. Give her a hug, compliment her on what she’s wearing, and throughout the course of the date you should be making strong eye contact and touching her (there is a section for this later on). Right now we’re concentrating on actually getting you a date. If she actually isn’t attracted to you, and is dense enough to agree to a date because she thinks you just want to be friends, well… better luck next time. This is a VERY rare situation so don’t worry about it. Besides, it doesn’t hurt to have female friends so don’t get rid of her! She’ll have hot friends and will introduce them to you.
OK so where were we? Oh yeah, conversation. In case you didn’t catch it, I already covered how to approach her. It’s called saying hello. Too simple for you? Don’t knock it till you try it. So you say hello, she smiles and says hi… now you have to think about what to talk about, right? Guess again. All you need to do is look around you. Talk about the weather, ask her if she saw that TV show last night, ask her where she’s heading, then you can talk about where you’re going and tell her about your exciting plans for the day. Too boring for you? Well, that’s what people talk about. Ask her some basic questions, talk about what’s going on around you and build the conversation up from there. My longest lasting relationships started off talking about mundane, everyday stuff like that. What you say actually makes up a very small percentage of your interaction; the rest is tonality, body language and a myriad of other things. Like I said, what you say isn’t important. You talk to your friends about the same sort of things every day and you don’t get bored with those interactions… think about it. You probably do have interesting conversations and debates, think about the things you talked about which led up to the interesting stuff and you’ll start to see a pattern. In this day and age, even if you’re a complete social outcast, you still talk to people every day thanks to the internet! You have no excuse not to get out there and talk to people.
Alright so you’re talking and you get into a good conversation. Now what? Ask her what she does for fun, and talk about that stuff for a while. I should point out here that most girls don’t actually have any proper hobbies… they just hang around with their friends and talk about stuff, go shopping, go to parties and so on. As you’d expect, this part of the conversation is usually gonna be one sided so make sure you have a proper hobby to talk about. Never underestimate the power of “me too”, you can say you do the same stuff as her but most guys have hobbies or play sports or something so make sure to add that into the mix. For example, I play pool. This is a manly thing to do for some reason; girls love a guy who plays pool. Even if you’re no good at it you can tell her you’re shit, but you like to do it anyway because it’s fun. So you’ve talked about some stuff and maybe gotten into a good conversation, so what do you do from here? Well, if you’re really hitting it off you can suggest going for a coffee, and continue your conversation there. Never ask her if she wants to do something though, as this gives her the option to say no.
Good: “Tell you what, I‘m getting pretty cold standing here… let‘s go grab a coffee, come on.”
Bad: “Do you wanna go get a coffee or something? It‘s getting kinda cold.”
See the difference? If you suggest something and at the same time you assume that she wants to join you, she will go along with it because you’re being confident. If she’s out by herself she has no reason to turn you down at that moment, so it’s safe to assume she wants to go with you. This also works for you in two additional ways. Firstly, if she joins you, it’s almost like a date so when you get her number later on, there’s no way in hell she’ll turn you down for another date when you call her. Secondly, if she genuinely doesn’t have time to join you she will suggest meeting up another time. Basically she’s offering you a date, and you can exchange numbers so you can let her know when you’re free.
If this is going to be your first date, do NOT ask her if she wants to go out on whatever day. If you ask her to meet you on a Tuesday, it gives her the option to flake on you even if she is free that day. What I’m getting at here is never to ask her if she wants to meet you. Tell her you’re going somewhere and that she should come along. If she isn’t free that day she will let you know and suggest a day when she is free. If she asks you where to meet, you tell her. If it's the first date and you ask her to pick somewhere to go it shows a lack of decisiveness, that you're unsure of where to take her, or worst of all, that you don't get out much and have no clue where to go out.
The date
Alright, so you’re on a date. You want to progress to the next level. You want to get intimate with her, but first you have to make her comfortable with you. I said earlier that I’d go into more detail with the subject of touching so here we go. It’s important to make physical contact as early as possible because from the offset she will see you as a touchy person and will automatically see it as natural, therefore she will become comfortable with it very quickly. Touching occurs naturally during conversation and should be congruent with your body language... If your body language is very reserved then you probably won’t touch people much. Likewise, if your body language is very animated then it’s likely that you touch people a lot, and for prolonged amounts of time. How and when you touch her is important, but you can read up on kinaesthetics elsewhere because it‘s a very vast subject and you probably do this naturally anyway. Watch other people interacting with each other and note how they touch each other… you’ll have observed this since you were a baby and will have learned to mimic it. I touch people when I want to emphasise what I'm saying, such as when I say something funny or if I want to make sure they're paying attention. Don't look at your hands when you touch her, because that tells her you're not sure if it's ok to do so, and that'll make her uncomfortable. It is vital to appear confident and comfortable when you touch people because that way they are far less likely to shy away from you. People crave physical attention and she’ll have her hands all over you when she’s talking to you, so give it back to her. She might rest her hand on your arm and lean into you while she’s saying something, so it’s perfectly alright to rest your hand on her waist while she does so. Experiment with it, you’ll be surprised how much they like being touched.
Isolating her
So, you’ve been on a date, you guys are having fun and you’re communicating on a physical level so you’re now comfortable being in each others company and have gotten used to physical communication aswell. By now you’ll have touched each others arms, hands, waists and maybe even legs. Now you want her to come back to your place, so how do you do it? Again, conversation… you’re bound to have talked about movies a little by now, so you could ask her if she’s seen a certain movie, if not then tell her she’s missing out because it kicks ass and that she should come over and watch it. That’s what I do, and I have yet to actually sit down and watch a full DVD with a girl. You might play an instrument or have something really cool that you know she’ll want to check out. You don’t need gimmicks or excuses or cool stuff to show her though… if you just left the bar or restaurant or whatever all you need to say is “There isn’t really much else to do around here, we should head back to mine and watch a movie or something” and go from there. Beats walking around aimlessly and talking, right? She’ll agree with you on this for sure.
Back at your place
You bad man, you! Taking girls home after the first date! Seriously though, by this stage you’re probably wondering if she wants to get jiggy. The answer is yes… she knows what she agreed to by coming back to your place, but it’s going to be one of those “one thing led to another” situations because a woman will never admit to going to your place because she wanted sex, true as that may be. Sit down with her and play some music or put a movie on, and get comfy. You’ll catch her taking little sideways glances at you, it’s amusing. Play with her hair, rest your hand on her leg or whatever you want. Then you can get to kissing and, yeah. I hope I don’t need to talk you through the rest.
Summary time!
1. Look your best and smell good!
2. All you need to do is say hi.
3. Talk to her for a while then get her to come with you for a coffee or something to eat. If she can’t, exchange numbers and arrange a date.
4. Get her back to your place and get it on.
5. Always wear a condom. Always.
Remember, never ask her if she wants to do something. Tell her you’re doing it already and suggest that she comes along. This way if she can’t she’ll suggest a better time and it doesn’t look like you’re needy and asking for a date. Be confident and assume that she wants to be with you. If she doesn’t, too fucking bad for her. There are plenty of others who see you for the kickass person you are. Touch her while you walk to her, maintain strong eye contact and keep your body language relaxed. If there is something nearby that you can lean up against, do it. When you’re walking, keep your shoulders relaxed, let your arms swing freely and keep your chin up (not too high though as you might look arrogant). Walk fairly slowly with big steps, and talk slowly with a deep voice. Don’t go overboard with all this stuff though, if you want more detail just read up about traits of the alpha male or articles about good body language and posture. They’re easy to find.
I hope this has been helpful to you, and by now you should be feeling like you wanna get straight out there and do it. Go! And if you have any questions before you do so, post them here and I'll reply as soon as i can.
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CHAT
no canned stuff
