Zip's Perspective



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PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 7:27 pm 
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Zip, let me know what your thoughts on the questions that I asked. I'm curious to know :P
Crap,

apologies for overlooking them. I'm out of town right now and a bit scattered. I'll get to them asap.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:28 pm 
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Zip. As a woman, do you do any of the following:

1) Kiss guys you aren't interested in or attracted to? (when your sober)

2) Go out on dates to get a free meal?

3) Stay on a date with a guy for 5-1/2 hours if you weren't having fun?
I wonder if this happened to him....

The same thing has happened to me several times before, and I am sure it has happened to everyone - one too many times. I would say maybe she was just being nice...or confused....or using her sexuality to get things she wanted.

But thats not from the correct perspective. I want to add to his question though:

what do you think the true reason behind actions like that would be? And do you think it is okay to do things like that?
Look, is it "okay?" All is fair in love and war. If women use their sexuality to dupe men, it's the responsibility of men to educate themselves. Is it okay to rob houses? I don't think so, but if someone leaves their doors wide open and their valuables out... I'm not going to feel sorry for them.

Not all women are users. Not all men are takers. Be wise enough to know the difference between a woman who is taking you for a ride and a woman who deserves a little consideration.

In a society that celebrates physical beauty, of course there are women smart enough to capitalize on the situation. Both men and women play dirty tricks. Not all men and women play dirty tricks.

If this dating game were easy, I'd be out of the job.

Your core should be strong enough and your mind smart enough to know and handle what she is doing.

guys, just make sure you don't leave your wallet laying out around this one :wink:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 4:50 am 
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Zip, Thanks a ton for reading and responding. After reading your post, and looking from another persons perspective, your 100% right! You even guessed the situations were all at her house and on her time. I feel stupid for not realizing this sooner. Im not sure what she needs to deal with but im definately leaving her alone and seeing the response when the ball is in my court.

Im thinking about calling her out on her actions? would that be unwise?

You said to keep a more Fluid/Subtle sexual frame. Do you mind elaborating?

Your the best!!!

Feelsonumb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:28 pm 
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Zip - I've got an interesting LTR question for you.


I've gotten myself into an LTR with a girl - who was my first F-close since I started pua, and definitely my first activity in probably more than a year and a half now. We had a really intense honeymoon stage for about 2 weeks - we'd have insane sex, talk for hours, and generally be infatuated with each other and get along great.


A month in now - the vibe between us, predictably, has changed. She is no longer thrilled to hear from me when I call, I don't get random messages or calls from her during the day - and frequently now I'm getting the "as little information as possible" responses from her during conversation.

Instead of "yeah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah" I get "Yes" or "No".

As well - shes said things like "I will never be able to fully trust you - which is why I didn't tell you what happened when I went out with my girlfriends on XXX night". This coupled with her startling insecurities is pretty draining - and I enjoy the time I spend with her less and less.



I would feel guilty and embarrassed ending it though, as I'm only a month in - and I pride myself on maintaining quality relationships. Both Ryelee and The Saint agree that this girl is nothing special - and while the sex is great, I'm not doing myself any favors by sticking around.



What are your thoughts on this? Do I give it time to even out, and continue to try and bail the ship, or abandon ship?

What is the underlying thought process behind the "as little information as possible" response?


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:58 pm 
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guys, been traveling. will get right to your questions as soon as I get back to NY. I'm in the airport right now trying to type this and down a beer before they close entry onto my plane.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:06 pm 
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Cool. Just out of curiousity how much do your services cost?
It depends on the service. I run it from a base of 50 bucks an hour. I also work with client's budgets.
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And here are two other important questions:

1: There is this good (we go way back) friend of mine who is quite social and witty, and is actually a natural at C&F (without knowing of it). He has his share of female friends and acts C&F with them which they obviously like. However he is worried that if he really wants to start dating with one of them they'll still think he is joking around and won't take it seriously. I on the other hand don't think that that would be a problem. What do you think?
As long as everyone involved knows and acts upon the principle of "there is a time and a place for everything," then it shouldn't be a problem.
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2: What is the meaning of life?
According to Douglas Adams, 42.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:14 pm 
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Zip, Thanks a ton for reading and responding. After reading your post, and looking from another persons perspective, your 100% right! You even guessed the situations were all at her house and on her time. I feel stupid for not realizing this sooner. Im not sure what she needs to deal with but im definately leaving her alone and seeing the response when the ball is in my court.

Im thinking about calling her out on her actions? would that be unwise?
Sure, but make sure you do it in a kind way, not scary or attached with any harsh emotional states. You don't want to make her get defensive, you want to make her realize her actions are coming across as a bit selfish, so she will want to change them.
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You said to keep a more Fluid/Subtle sexual frame. Do you mind elaborating?
This is hard to explain further without showing you or giving you an example. Um, watch James Dean. Any movie with Marlon Brando. They ooze sexuality and non-neediness. They give off this air of "I am extremely sexual, but I don't need you, and I'm not going to beg for you."

Come to NY, sign up for my class, and I'll show you. ;)
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Your the best!!!
I know.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:40 pm 
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I got two serious questions that I'm wondering about.

- Do you think women are far more cautious in who they sleep with today then 20-30 years ago? If that's the case, do you think the media or STD's are a reason for that?

&

-Is lying really the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off?
I think educated women are far more conscientious about being safe when they sleep with people due to STD awareness and pregnancy education. Does that change anything statistically? No. Humans are still reproducing exponentially.

And no, manipulating the truth is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:47 pm 
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Zip - I've got an interesting LTR question for you.


I've gotten myself into an LTR with a girl - who was my first F-close since I started pua, and definitely my first activity in probably more than a year and a half now. We had a really intense honeymoon stage for about 2 weeks - we'd have insane sex, talk for hours, and generally be infatuated with each other and get along great.


A month in now - the vibe between us, predictably, has changed. She is no longer thrilled to hear from me when I call, I don't get random messages or calls from her during the day - and frequently now I'm getting the "as little information as possible" responses from her during conversation.

Instead of "yeah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah" I get "Yes" or "No".

As well - shes said things like "I will never be able to fully trust you - which is why I didn't tell you what happened when I went out with my girlfriends on XXX night". This coupled with her startling insecurities is pretty draining - and I enjoy the time I spend with her less and less.



I would feel guilty and embarrassed ending it though, as I'm only a month in - and I pride myself on maintaining quality relationships. Both Ryelee and The Saint agree that this girl is nothing special - and while the sex is great, I'm not doing myself any favors by sticking around.



What are your thoughts on this? Do I give it time to even out, and continue to try and bail the ship, or abandon ship?

What is the underlying thought process behind the "as little information as possible" response?
Okay bro,

Some relationships just fizzle out. I would just say that you burned each other out and you could probably still mix it up a bit... but her whole "I could never trust you" shit makes me think she's the worst kind of manipulator. I wouldn't snip everything off with her, but stay in touch and go play elsewhere.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:06 am 
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Zip i would sign up for your class in a heartbeat if I didnt live in Washington state!

Thanks for all the great advice though!!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:17 am 
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Zip i would sign up for your class in a heartbeat if I didnt live in Washington state!

Thanks for all the great advice though!!!
Oh bla bla bla. I have guys fly out all the time. I've got guys coming in this weekend from outside the United States.

Get your ass to NY.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 9:22 am 
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Hmm NY. Not sure why but somehow this past six months i really want to go there and to the US in general. Do some sightseeing and perhaps when the dollar has crashed enough buy NY back for the dutch for one euro 8).

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 7:18 pm 
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I really appreciate the response. Thank you. I wasn't counting on your reply. Very few people live up to what they say.

I have come to notice that people don't listen to what I say. Whether it may be something important or even something minor, I can never get my point across. Even when I'm on the phone I always get asked "Are you sleeping?" That's horrible! And I hate that to an oblivion.


I would to go to a speaking coach or learning about vocals but I'm not able to at the moment so my question is this: Do you recommend any videos, books, or movements on how to improve my speech impediment?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 11:10 pm 
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I really appreciate the response. Thank you. I wasn't counting on your reply. Very few people live up to what they say.

I have come to notice that people don't listen to what I say. Whether it may be something important or even something minor, I can never get my point across. Even when I'm on the phone I always get asked "Are you sleeping?" That's horrible! And I hate that to an oblivion.


I would to go to a speaking coach or learning about vocals but I'm not able to at the moment so my question is this: Do you recommend any videos, books, or movements on how to improve my speech impediment?
I'm actually pretty knowledgeable on this subject. I've taken many vocal diction, projection, and singing classes. I freed myself of my southern accent through vocal deconstruction, which I believe is a school from Catherine Linklater. I'll have to double check.

Tell me more about your speech impediment. Your voice isn't strong? Is that it?

You need to learn to breathe from your diaphragm, project without force, and how to use your body as a resonator. Think about a guitar.... the entire body of the guitar vibrates to amplify the sound. Your body can do that as well. When I speak at work, I can feel vibrations in my hands, in my legs, and it's not because I'm loud.... it's because I have a full, resonate, powerful voice when I need it.

Tell me a little more, and I'll recommend some stuff. By what you've said, I'd say look up some books and taps from the Alexander Technique of vocal deconstruction.

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 Post subject: Zip's Perspective
PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:38 am 
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Awright, here's my question, Black leather trenchcoat yea or nay?

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Don't talk so much, you'll make people hate you!


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