Some of you may have read my post from a couple of days ago. For those who didn't, I met a girl and we hit it off. We had a 4 hour conversation and I left promising to add her to my facebook.

Right, to update from there. I waited around a day before adding her, and sent her a short message as well. The message was just a bit of banter from our previous conversation.

It has taken her a couple of days to accept my friend request (she was on facebook between my request and accepting several times, but no biggy right? It's cool) Anyway, she has accepted my request now, but she hasn't replied to my message.

I am a bit gutted and a bit confused. To me if you have a four hour conversation with a girl the very first time you meet her then something must be going right. We had a laugh, and I really thought a meeting was guaranteed. The question is, what should I do now? I don't want to pester her and seem like an AFC by messaging her again so I am leaving it with her for now, but what should I do if she doesn't reply?

Seems a shame to waste what seemed like a great opening. Thoughts on what to do now, or what I could have done better...

(btw I realise something firmer than a facebook close would have been good, but it seemed like a sure thing for a date and it was the end of the afternoon and I couldn't move to an immediate first date)

dude, 4 hr convo!?!? thats an instant date right there, you should have moved her around to several venues if you hit it off that good, not to mention a #close, FOUR FUCKIN HOURS AND NO NUMBER, that's on you, if you guys hit it off that good shes prolly wondering "why didnt he make a move OR ask me for my phone number".

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http://www.LearnSocialArts.com <------- New pick-up site

I'm thinking this is a case of buyer's remorse.
Maybe you could fill us in on some things you talked about?

wtf? how can she have buyers remorse all he did was msg her on facebook!?

Topic starter: Either the girl has 4 hour conversations with everyone; you didnt get done what you needed to in that time; or she is doing what you did by taking her time. Dont be afraid to show emotio/affection.. Maybe shes a bit pissed that her emotional 4 hours were shafted by you til the next day until you add her.

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'Oh my, you sir are the Moriarty of self awareness and personnal refelection'

What a title!

Man, this really isn't something to get depressed about. So she's taking her time, no big deal. So she enjoyed your convo but that's as far as she wants to go. Whatever! Sounds like you're attached to this girl and you've only met her once. You've done all you can do, now just let it flow. If something comes out of it, sweeto! If not, move on.

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- Difference

Jeez... Every PUA should read up more on gender differences and stuff.

Men's emotions = more committed

Women's emotions = VERY volatile

Women's emotions = determine EVERYTHING they do

Time that has passed by, even if it's only a FEW HOURS, has a dramatic effect on women's emotions, while time that has passed by has very little effect on men's emotions. This is why women are able to move on to new boyfriends so quickly after a breakup while men are left in a dark pit of brokenhearted AFCness, crying like little babies every night for 3 years until they read the scripture of Neil Strauss.

I didn't read your previous post that you're talking about, but I'm willing to bet that you built too much COMFORT in those 4 hours and not enough ATTRACTION (pumping BT and DHVing) or SEXUAL TENSION.

But, even if you did, time that has passed by could have done ANYTHING to affect how this chick felt about you... especially if you haven't demonstrated a substantial amount of value.

Run a jealousy plotline or something.

Hey guys, thanks for the responses so far. I am finding it really interesting to hear what you all think.

In response to some of the posts so far:

I think I forgot to mention in this thread that I haven't been actively gaming for a while, so I didn't actually run much game on her. In fact I was struggling to remember some patterns while I was chatting to her.

The point about getting a number close is so true. I think maybe I gave off the wrong signals by just adding her to my facebook. At the time I thought it was acting laid back, but now I guess maybe it wasn't strong enough.

We chatted about all sorts of things. (A four hour convo's gotta ramble a bit! lol) We talked about family, work (boring things), I told her silly facts I learnt as routines, we teased each other a lot, compared good places to go out in the area, skimmed over previous girlfriends/boyfriends. Lots of things really.

I think the point about comfort rather than attraction could be true. As I say I have not gamed for a while and I didn't have my natural routines to hand. In the end, I suppose I really was just chatting and not really going out of my way to run game. I embedded a few good DHVs, but I missed a trick on opening opportunities for us to meet again. i.e. oh I'm going to ...... on friday, sounds good...... oh, you've never been? you should come with... lol.

I'm not sure I understand buyers remorse in this context. Unless you mean in the sense that it was a spur of the moment thing and didn't mean much in a wider context?

I'm trying to play it cool, hopefully she's doing the same. But don't worry, I'm not hung up, just seems a shame to waste what seemed like a good opening. By the way, she came and sat with me and started the convo - Damn! Maybe I've been gamed. I feel so used lol

Anyway, your thoughts are really interesting - I'd love to hear more. What should I do now? Wait for her to reply to the message, how long should I give her before any bond is gone?

Dude, this is a PICKUP ARTIST forum. If you weren't even running game in the first place, we're not even on the same wavelength here.

Without gaming, a 4 hour conversation means nothing. If you weren't gaming her, that means you were being a boring friend and it's no wonder that she's not attracted to you enough to respond to your calls or whatever your dilemma is.

I'll admit that I'm a bit ticked off. Why would you post a thread in a PUA forum asking for help without even having used any PUA material? If you were posting for help on where to BEGIN in the Newbies section, that'd be legit. However, you post in the Lounge telling us nothing but socially programmed garbage, making no reference to any pickup methods. I think it shows a lack of respect for what this forum is about.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as harsh, but come on, man. Imagine a world where martial arts lessons are readily available for free everywhere at any time. Would you go to a martial arts dojo and ask why you lost a fight in a specific situation where you DIDN'T use martial arts when it's obvious to every student there that basic moves and tactics could have ensured your victory? I sure as hell wouldn't. I'd actually take some lessons and use what I learn in a fight so I can try to help myself before asking others for help.

Oh, and just for the record, a pattern is a Speed Seduction induction and involves NLP. A routine is anything that pumps BT or demonstrates value and usually doesn't involve NLP.

Sorry, maybe I wasn't clear enough. I got into the game a little over a year ago. After enjoying learning the game and developing many routines personal to me I ended up in a LTR. Since that only ended recently I haven't been gaming since then. I did run limited game on this girl, but I was bit rusty. Just trying to get back on the scene. Have to admit my grip on the slang is a bit rusty too, so excuse the patterns thing.

If you want some PUA techniques, I reckon I used some basic NLP to try and bring out an impulsive side. I imbedded DHVs where possible, but didn't have any good DHV stories I could remember. I also tried a little cat-string theory.

No lack of respect meant