Holy shit! I'm done. I'm done being a worthless piece of AFC garbage. Wow I just had the perfect oppurtunity to open and number close this HB9 working at staples. I walk in, get a big smile, standing in line get another big smile . Get up to the front and this went through my fucking head. Wow shes a little pale and her arms a little chubby. I say hi pay and leave. I walk out of the door and truely wished somebody wouldve came up to me and kicked me as hard as they could in the balls. Fuck.. I walked back to my car thinking what the fuck was I thinking this qirl was fucking beautiful. I'm just getting into the art of PUA, but I think today has triggered something. I'm going to stop reading and start fucking doing. I'm going to open as many people as I can from now on no matter who they are and how they look. I've tried everything now to get around this including dressing well , special haircut, working out, good body posture presence etc . But know I have to start fucking talking I mean I've had very little succes with girls except for the odd time when one thrown themselves at me. But as of March 17/08 I'm going to start living life and not being such a pussy. Wow I am so mad at myself cuz I had it in the bag with roughly 10-15 words and I couldnt even say that. So anyways it feels good to get this off my chest and now I think I can move forward. Thanks for listening to my whining but hopefully this is the end of one chapter and the start of another for me. I challenge others in the same position as me to take the plunge to.

BTW I've noticed I have this problem with having this false delusion of age or looks of a person when Im about to approach them . I think this will go away by socializing with tons of different people. But if anybody has any other suggestion that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

I also have the same problem as you.

When I am interested in a girl and think shes hot from afar its all good, but once I get up close and start talking to her I start seeing the bad parts of her like as you said, and it makes me not want to talk to her (or maybe my brain just makes it up as an excuse). I think its like a defense mechanism of some sort but I'd like to get rid of it.

This happened to me as well this weekend. Mainly because I was caught off guard, it was too easy. I know were I will be at 2:00PM this Sunday though. Back in that damn store, this time prepared.

yeah, I've found when it comes to AA day game is especially hard, and day game hired guns are especially especially hard. One of my problems used to be that I felt like I had to have the perfect line or situational opener, and of course I never think of it until after it's too late. So I feel ya man.

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MatchbookMethod.com

I think we've all been at a point where we just think FUCK, especially when you know you should have opened or closed a girl but you just didn't have the balls go for it. Hopefully now that you've had enough of it, it will have been the incentive you needed to just go out and do what you need to do and have fun with it, good luck.

Screw forcing yourself and kicking yourself over not doing it!



That only works for some guys, and for the most part, it will fuck you up down the line. There are several ways of getting confident at something, and one of them is forcing yourself to do it, until you become good at it (by far the worst one).

There is a way to become good at it, without ever forcing yourself. It includes:

1) Solving it indirectly

Locate all the things that are related to it, but are easier to improve. Such as overall social life. You have no idea how much easier it is for a person with huge social circles to start approaching, than someone without.

Solving it indirectly involves also building a life you love, i.e. get super engaged into some hobbies you always wanted to get involved with. When your day consists of going from one activity that gets you juiced up to another... approaching some random brainless bimbo seems just... irrelevant. And guess what, something seeming irrelevant makes it so much easier to do.

2) Changing the way you look at it

By FAR the largest mistake i've seen guys make about "solving approach anxiety" is PRECISELY THAT. Calling it "solving approaching anxiety.

That makes into this super big mountain to climb over, like "defeating mount everest" or some shit.

Here's a cool fact you might not have thought about.

What is approaching?

By definition, "approaching" is the act of moving your body towards another person's body, and verbally saying something. Anything.

That's it. It's NOT "attraction building", or "the most important step to getting laid" or "the first phase of whatever".

When you get that distinction in your mind, that approaching is simply "saying something to someone". It changes the perspective.

3) Super-Small-Chunking it

The second biggest mistake is that guys get insane in their ideas. A person who has never ever approached, decides to "defeat approach anxiety", by finding away to finally do THE APPROACH.

And THE APPROACH is ussually, approaching a super hot SHB12 in the most VIP club, while she is surrounded by 49 admirers and 5 bodyguards, and then having her respond super positively.

Nah uh.

That's like trying to "finally defeat my anxiety of getting on a bike", by finding a way how to do triple 360degree turns off a rail or some shit.

Gotta start at the start. Just small chunk it.

Having in mind that "approach" is simply walking up to someone and saying something. By definition, you going up to the middleged woman at the supermarket counter and asking her for an opinion *is* an approach.

The way you get good at approaching is through experience. So just do *WHATEVER* approach you can do now. Just begin, today. Do 3 approaches a day. And guess what? The more you do it, the faster you will be able to do harder and harder approaches. So you have to start by asking UGs for the time? So what?

Action --> All that matters.

Dude, remember, 95% of men on this planet DON'T APPROACH. Period, so don't beat yourself up over a community ideal.

Besides, here's the irony, the best way to overcome is to accept it. Yeah strange new age shit. But the thing is, if you beat yourself up over it, you'll never pass it.

So just do daily action (whatever that is for you), and in no time you will reach super impressive levels

AlekNovi

I liked what you have said. People tend to over complicate things, and the smarter they are the more complex things get in their mind. I'm trying to get rid of this problem myself, so thx for you post

I like that you like my post, but did you go out and do 3 approaches today?

Remember, the new definition of an approach is "walking up to someone, and saying something".

It could be asking 3 old men for the directions for all anyone cares.

If you didn't do it, why?

If yes, congrats, do it every single day, just that (3 times per day) thing, and within a month you'll be killer.

Its ok to get nervous, it can work in your favour. Because it shows you must have some balls to walk up a girl and ask her, and girls often ask me 'do you do this often' and i sometimes say 'if i really did that often do i think i would have been nervous, it feels unnatural'. I still get major AA to this day, but i just think fuck it, they either like you or not, its the date that matters. Sometimes with me its more like approach laziness.
Just make it your mission to open and start convo, nothing more.

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To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

This is an idea. I've used it a few times. If you're with your friends, as soon as you see a girl you want to approach/get her number/etc..., tell them you're going to do it so then you can't chicken out or they will give you a hard time and stuff.

yea this happened to me this week. i went to walgreens after work and this exotic beauty was working. she was walking around a corner the same time as me and we came face to face and she seemed to make sure she didn't miss a piece of me. she went to work the register, and when i checked out i sort of got the idea that she liked my appearance. anyway i wussed out and didn't do anything. there were people behind me watching and waiting so that too made it seem impossible.

i went back the next day after work to get a couple small things i had forgot. i was looking pretty baller that day. when i checked out she was all smiles and the credit card swipe was giving me a hard time. i commented on it and she giggled and she seemed to have trouble looking me in the eye. there was no one in line behind me, either. i fucked that up good, i think that was a golden opportunity. she is a HB9.5. i love exotic girls who have a natural tint to their skin and of course long shiny black hair, something like a gypsy girl i guess. i do not like bottle blondes, an HB10 bottle blonde to you is probably a HB8 to me

was this girl a cashier or did she do something else that required her to walk around the store? Cashiers I believe would be difficult to close unless there's no one else in line after you because it's just going to be awkward for her to flirt with someone when other people are clearly watching that are waiting impatiently to pay for their stuff and get on their merry way. So don't beat yourself up over it if this is the case. Now if she was working around the store then you definitely should approach her and just ask her to show you where something is at the very least. Never hurts.

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Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want

IM WITH YOU MAN. LETS DO IT

lifes too short not to go sarging be the pua u no u can be.. hell me being a rAFC is about 31232x better than being an AFC.