Don't give up the fight. Just because things may look bad and just because that things may not being going your way right now does not mean that you should give up.
Reframe, figure out what you are doing wrong, ask questions, keep studying, and don't be afraid to just go out there and fuck things up.
If you don't succeed the first time, then try, try again until you actually do make it and just remember that it is your reality that she needs to submit to and not the other way around.
Be a leader of men, believe in yourself, trust yourself, and never give up on either yourself or your dreams. You can achieve whatever you want out of life if you just remember to educate yourself, be willing to fuck things up, accept your mstakes, learn from them and forget about what all the naysayers might say as it is your life and not theirs and if they don't like it, then just tell them to fuck off and die.
That is just my opinion and that is how I tend to look at things in life and if people don't like it, then fuck em as they are probably not your real friends.
Quote:
I can't remember the last time I shaved. So many fucking regrets in the past fucking week. Shit, all my fucking hopes have been drained. Now I'm stuck; for who knows how long. It sucks so fucking bad. I hate everyone around me. I don't wish they were gone, but i need to be gone. I dont give a fuck where, just away from them, and out of this fucking place.
I could taste the fruit. It was on my tongue and then torn away; I didn't realize how much it would affect me. I didn't realize how much the mere hope of the “fruit” was boosting my morale. Fuck, there goes any enthusiasm, ambitions or drive. Oh, and on top of that I got a rejection letter from college. I won't go into detail, but that shit kind of threw me off. I haven't a fucking clue what my next move is.
Fuck, I thought I had my future cut out for a little while. I would get a place with some “friends,” it would suck, but it'd be ours; I'd go to college after righteously accepting my position in my major. Years later I'd leave the area and start my career. But fuck that. Now I have none of that. Now I have this: I live with a bunch of fucking cunts who annoy the living shit out of me, and are holding me back. Not to mention the fact that I have no friends, or plans on Saturday fucking night. I want to fucking leave here and hardly ever return; only on holidays. Oh and to make matters feel more pathetic, i get blasted with calls everyday from her. That's fine, whatever, no big deal; but when your mom is the only one calling you and you have to see it, and hear the fucking ringtone it sucks. Phone rings, you hope it's someone calling with awesome plans or something sweet; but no. It's not, it never fucking is.
Yea, I was down to about one “real” friend. I couldn't take it anymore though, this kid is more fucked up than I am. Fuck, this fucking faggot is so fucking negative, I can't take it. He makes me more depressed. I'm fucking torn: Do I stay at home and go into introspection faze or do I make human contact with a negative bitch ass friend who flips out about the stupidest fucking shit. I'm so fucking above that, I can't stand that he's my last “friend.”
Oh yea and this girl. Shit, do I like her? I don't even know. It's so fucked up now. We got close, pretty close, but there's this fucking gap that I can't figure out. I'm not the type of person to call someone or bring shit up. I basically keep to myself. That's the problem, because this chick is the same way. We're fucking meant for eachother probably...I'll probably never know though because my mind is so fucking stubborn and cowardly. Yea, I'm probably really afraid of rejection. I don't know why. I need to get over it. Anyways here's the problem with the girl: Her friend is dating my friend, who I'm not really friends with anymore, cuz he doesnt really need me. No big deal, just doesn't, shit moves on, I stay here and sulk. Anyways, I never called this chick to chill; shit was already laid out for me and I followed. But fuck...(Butt fuck) I can't call her and make plans alone? Nope I can't, I'm a fucking faggot. If i did, I would feel like I'm demonstrating lower value too much by merely calling her. I would feel like I'm putting myself out there. But fucking cunt, shouldn't I be willing to take that risk in the fury of love? Yes, the answer is fucking yes! But what the fuck, I can't...I'm a fucking scared bastard. Besides, a lot of time has passed since our last “almost” outing. Yea, I did call her, but nothing came of it. It was fuckin stupid. I can't get a read on this fuckin chick. I figured if she liked me enough, she would call me... But that fuckin shit has not happened yet. So fuck, what do I do? Should I call her and see what's up. Fuck yea I should. But I'm waiting for something to happen, I need to enter a new state of mind. It hasnt hit yet cuz I've been so fucking down for the last few days. But will it hit? I don't know, I'm gonna need help, some human contact or some shit. I don't fucking know. So fuck, I'm probably stuck in this rut for a while. In the meantime I will:
-work out and do a lot of cardiovascular
-master-fucking bate the shit out of myself
-Have suicidal thoughts way too much
-eat too much, or not enough
-keep thinking about that girl, even though it's purely negative thoughts
-think about calling her or somebody until i do
-drink...Wait there's a thought....
...What if I drink a lot one day, so that I'll be loosened up enough to get my life back on track. Yea, that's perfect, I'll call my "friends" and just speak my mind. I'll call the chick and she'll be so glad to hear from me. I'll be drunk, I'll lose my inhibitions. Oh fuck, that's a solution, that's a motherfucking solution right there. I shouldn't do it though, it's not right. I might do it though, but there's a strong chance I won't. Maybe pain killers. That'd be good. I'll have to talk to a “friend” for that though. Whatever, sometimes you gotta use people. Hmmm, lortabs sounds sooooo good right now. A night of tabs, getting crunk and watching movies. That's fucking what I need right now. fuuuckck Dammnit. Hopefully too much time hasnt passed. Hoepefully I can call this kid and get my quick fix before it's too fuckin late. Oh fuck, anything else I should cover.
Tomoro, I will wake up...or not. We'll see. No, but I will ( I hope I'm jinxing myself by saying that, so I don't wake up, so I'm dead) wake up and eat breakfast or something. Then I'll go into my room, and then go from there. Probably mull around on my computer for a long ass time, waiting for something better to come. Nothing will come, nothing ever comes on Sundays. Fuck that. That's fuckin gay. Maybe all this writing will keep me from suicide. I'm just being dramatic now. But seriously, I don't know how much of this shit I can take. Eventually, I'll have no other option if it keeps getting worse. For now, I should be alright. But if this shit continues to fester, the world will have a problem on their hands...Not the world, because I would only be self-destructive. But yea, I would need to get the proper materials. That's where my cunt faggot brother comes in. I can steel all his pain meds and take em at the same time. That'll fuck me up and probably kill me. Come on, oxy conton, is the fucking sex. That will fuck me up so fuckin bad, you have no fuckin idea. Shit fuck.Well anyways that's another option. Far to the extreme though. I probably won't do it. Like I said I'm a fucking pussy. Besides, i've got pets now and they love me. I could pretty much get any girl I want...That's not an overstatement. I just, have trouble meeting people. It's fuckin because I have no circles...No fucking circles of friends or anything. I'm a horrible fucking networker. Girls cling to me though, it's great. If only I could have multiple relationships going on at once. I could have...But well, I didn't choose to. I chose to be a dick. Yea this girl, well fuck no I wasn't being a dick, I was just being me. Well negative, and realistic. Fuck it w.e. I didn't want this girl because i knew i could do much better. Well that shit pissed me the fuck off, nah not really made me feel better. Ne ways I'm ranting, idk what the fuck this is. Is this a post? Is this PUA shit? I don't fucking know. Respond if you want I dont care, I'm going to bed maybe.
CHAT
