Okay, so there's this girl. I dunno where to put her on the scale...prob about a 6 or a 7...6.5 maybe. Cute in a wholesome, girl-next-door way but no one I'd probably notice if she didn't have my two favorite features in her stretched-out t-shirt. Those alone bump her up to an 8, maybe even a 9.

We've known each other for years, but only as passing acquaintances for years (I was friends with her older sister years ago, and actually this same situation happened with her). We ran into each other last summer and quickly became close friends online, talked daily. Some mild flirting, and she's always complimented me a lot. Never actively made a move because was dating this skeezy douchebag and would never leave him even though she always talked about it. She would break up with him often actually and right when I was about to ask her out she would take him back again. She actually put me through a lot of shit with that.

When she was home over Thanksgiving we made plans for me to take her out dancing, and we went to a nice restaurant before that and had drinks and then went dancing, and we had a great time. Before I picked her up, I wondered if she'd show cleavage because she doesn't go out of her way to call attention to her boobs, and if she did that night then it meant she wanted me to look. She showed a TON, and so I enjoyed it. And at the restaurant this cute waitress kept glaring at us and I had to explain that the waitress and I have a difficult past and she gets jealous whenever I come in with another girl, so the friend and I had lots of fun pissing her off together. The friend spent that whole night complimenting me, as usual.

She finally broke up with the bf a month or so ago, and was being increasingly complimentary and talking a lot about how she was hitting the rebound hard and was really excited to start dating again, and there was someone she was really into and didn't know if he knew and she was waiting for him to ask, so I asked her for a date in no uncertain terms when she visited town the next weekend. She agreed and it was cool...until a couple days later when she backpedaled and claimed she had no idea I'd intended it as a date and suddenly pulled out, claiming she "values me too much as a friend" and blah blah blah to risk all that. I've spoken to her a lot less in the time since, and several times when I have she has repeatedly mentioned guys she's hot for and trying to get with, and the last time we talked she wrote me this long message explaining some situation with ANOTHER guy friend who's crazy about her and is annoying her with his repeated attempts (though his also include a lot of unwanted touching) and she asked me how she should basically get rid of him. I wrote her back telling her basically I don't wanna hear that shit and it's insane of her to expect that she can come to me asking about it.

We haven't talked since then, and that's been a couple of weeks, and I was content not to contact her again. Now she's home on spring break until Monday, and today she called and left me a voicemail saying she wants to have coffee tomorrow, and very specifically mentioned that she'd be bringing a couple of other people (because god forbid I should mistake it for a date, right?).

Now, my instinct is to just not even return her call. Should I? Was there something there at one point? Is there any way to turn this around? I'm a very decent guy, but she's pissed me off so badly that I really have no interest in remaining friends with her or keeping her around at all for any reason unless one day very soon I can point to her and say, "I hit that." I don't know if that's a possibility, but then, someone more experienced might know otherwise. Advice?

Should have said "Go out with me, and when those guys sees you're with a quality guy, they'll be goners!"

LOL

This is just one mans point of view so take it how you want to take it. From your back story it sounds like she's put you in the LJBF zone for now. I'm not sure how or if their is a way out of that or if you would even want her if you pulled it off. You say you have known her for years as passing Acquaintances so keep that same state of mind and don't get one-ites with her just because you can't close the deal with her at this time. Life is long and people change their minds daily but don't wait around for that their is a HB 10 with your name on it now go out their and claim what's yours. You never want to get so frustrated that you through in the towel you never know when your on the verge. Sounds like she's giving you shit tests with the other guys she's dating. I would keep her in the roledex if for nothing more than a test girl. You know dish out what she's dishing out. Ask her advice on other girls your intrested in. Take her out so other girls see you around town with the girl with huge sweater puppets.Its just your ego getting in the way of taking advantage of a gift horse its happend to me countless times. She could give you a lot of knowledge on how some women think and only make your game stronger. Every time you get bent on her just remember you made it this far without her. Sounds like she likes scumbags (the ex boyfriend) so unless you want to be someone your not (a scumbag) then don't put much stock in her. There is something strange about human nature that atracts us to people who treat us bad some kind of conditioning we go through from kids. I had a girlfriend not to long ago that woke me up from that sleep. She was living a double life. She would treat me bad and I would stand in line for more of it. Come to find out she was a tweeker and I was not the only one. I saw the yellow flags turn to red flags and still put my head on the choping block all from her words and ignoring her actions. I took a stand and said I'm better than this and will not stop till I get better. I told myself I could spend my time in comfort on the sidelines or i can get in the game and risk an injury. I choose the risk and its paid off so far I only wish I did It sooner. I hope there is some advice in here from my words, but I'm not a pro PUA and I'm sure you can get someone on here that will have her in your bed by the time this posts there are some heavy weights on here listen to them they speak from lessons that are tried and true. Good luck on what ever path you choose with her and all the women in your life.

When you said, "There's this girl" I wanted to quit reading, but I skimmed through and it turns out I was right. You've got one-itis. Go fuck ten other women and if she still seems this bright and shiny, well then you'll have the skill to get her.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

First off, thanks, Naven. Good advice. (And you've always been my favorite poor black child.)

Second--in spite of how I might've phrased the post, trust me, I do NOT have one-itis with this girl. I'm seeing a couple of others and talking to several more. And she's quite aware of that fact. My main curiosity right now is if I should return her call and meet her for coffee or just disconnect with her altogether until more time passes. I feel like until the dust has settled, any time I mention other girls to her she's just gonna think I'm desperately trying to show that I'm "over" her.

Sure, return her call, meet her up, with a solid decision to turn her into a pivot. A girl who will help you meet other girls.
Treat her completely just like you would treat any guy friend, and when she realizes that you can get other girls she will see your value and try to be with you.
Than give her the same LJBF speech she gave you.
As it was said before, this is a gift horse for you. If she really has all these men going after her, and you show her that you only wanna be friends it will flip her world.

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This game is automatic. You give it to 'em one time, they come back like addicts.

I called her back yesterday and she wanted me to leave the house immediately and come meet her for coffee. I told her that wasn't happening because I had my own schedule to work under. She then asked when I could meet her and her friend, and I told her about an hour or so. She said they'd be there waiting. I showered and shaved very slowly, purposely taking my time since I was getting ready for a big night after the coffee meeting anyway, and soooooo, two hours later I called saying I'd gotten stuck in line at the bank (I had, but only for about fifteen minutes) and that I'd be there in about twenty. She was very disappointed (which I relished because she's flaked on me a million times) and said they were about to leave because she had other plans. She asked if we could reschedule for today, and I said sure and that I'd call her. She asked if I was free later that evening, and I said no, that I was going to a nightclub with friends. She said if I was bored after I left the nightclub much later on in the night, I could call her and hang out because she'd be up really late. "What time is too late?" I asked, and she said, "Oh, nothing's too late." That's somewhat unlike her, and not really the sort of thing you set up with someone you're trying to keep away, but whatever.

I didn't end up hanging with her late that night because I got involved with some crazy bitch, but I did as she asked anyway...when I rolled into the house at 6:55 this morning, I called and left her a voicemail saying, "Hey! I'm free now."

Today she called me again, and again demanded that I drop what I was doing and meet her immediately, and again I told her there'd be a wait involved. We decided to meet in an hour for drinks at an upscale restaurant downtown where I'm a regular, and this time I got ready quickly and sped there. I was walking to the restaurant when she drove past me into the parking lot down the block, but she didn't see me, so I darted down the sidewalk and inside, and quickly ordered a glass of wine. Minutes later, when she strolled in, I put down my glass, looked at my watch, and said, "...Fuck took you so long?"

Every head turned when she walked in, all flowing hair and beaming smile and mind-boggling cleavage in a way-too-tight white v-neck tee. Lots of qualification the whole time, 'cause the whole staff knows me and by total coincidence, I happened to know several people who came in. It really wasn't anything I was *trying* to make a show of, but I could tell she was impressed.

Since I had nothing to lose, I was very different from any other time we've hung out. I was really laid-back and kinda flip and brutally honest. I adopted this really comfortable, dominant posture that suggested we were on my turf (which we were, 'cause I practically live at this place). I wasn't gonna mention it, but since she asked what kept me out so late last night, I told her about last night with the crazy bitch, but edited the frustrating elements out of the story and only told the basic facts--almost immediately after meeting we spent hours crawling all over each other in a nightclub, went to a diner, spent an hour in my car parked in an abandoned lot, then at 4:30 we went to her house, got into bed, and I left at dawn. She responded by informing me that she's gotten back together with the douchebag bf AGAIN. I simply nodded and said "Hm," but she kept needling for an opinion, so since she asked, I very calmly, in a tone that was specifically NOT jealousy but kind of haughty disgust, without yelling or smiling, informed her that she's stupid and immature and I've never known anyone to continue making the same fucked up mistake as many times as she has, and I no longer respect her and in fact, in the moment, was disgusted by her. She knew I wasn't joking and that it wasn't coming from me feeling spurned and she asked me to have faith in her. I put my glass down, gave a withering stare, and said, "...Have WHAT??" It was so intimidating she began giggling with embarrassment, looked down, and repeated it. I sniffed, "Oh, you ARE outta your fuckin mind." She asked why I was still there with her then, and I said, "Purely because I have a half-full glass of wine," and she knew I meant it.

Since she'd really rubbed me the wrong way with that, I went much harder with the negs and started talking really dirty and making really overt sexual statements, which I have never done with this girl. She commented on me staring at the hostess' ass whenever she passed, and laughed and said she'd never seen anyone be so shameless. I said I didn't give a shit, because I make no apologies for being a man who loves women. "Women love that," I said, eyeing her hungrily over my glass. There was a really odd stain on the tremendous underside of her right breast, and I pointed it out to her, but she couldn't see it over the hills, and she kept trying to find it, so finally I just reached out and poked it--"There." She didn't know what it was and I said it looked like semen. She laughed really hard.

A: "Look, my boobs are gigantic, I get all kinds of stuff on 'em."

Me: "I bet not nearly as much as you should."

A: "Fine, I'll strap 'em to you one day and see how you like it."

Me: "Hey, you can strap 'em to me right now."

A: "Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

Me: "Bathroom's right there. C'mon."

A: "I meant I've give my boobs to you."

Me: (Smiles, whispers) "Yesssssssssssss."

A: "I meant, you carry twenty pounds of extra weight just hanging!"

Me: "Oh, I carry twenty pounds hanging."

A: (Smirk) "...Yeah, okay, sure."

Me: "I lied, wait... (Counts on fingers) ...Twenty-SIX."

We talked about her breasts for a really long time after that (during which I asked her size point blank, she told me to guess, I did, and I was right) and she showed me a picture of this cute girl she just met at a party and said before she passed out last night she thinks the girl was trying to get her to have lesbian sex. I said, "OH, so that's not SEMEN. Okay, gotcha." She told me I wished; I said I might. She had some pasta and dropped a big piece, and I laughed.

Me: (Laughing)

A: "You didn't see that! Don't laugh!"

Me: "Uh, I saw--it almost fell right between your tits!" (It didn't, I was just fucking with her.)

A: "You think everything's between my tits!"

Me: "I'm not. Yet."

A: "You want everything to be between my tits."

Me: "Oh, yeah. I want the whole world between your tits."

Her phone rang and she answered it at the table. I snapped my finger at her, made a nasty face, and jerked my thumb toward the window. "Go!" I whispered. She followed the order. When she came back I just kept being dirty and negging her and making comments about other girls' bodies, and she was TOTALLY digging it and started telling me how I need to come visit her at school so we can hang together and she can show me all this stuff. When we both left, she gave me the longest, tightest hug and then informed me that she was walking me to my car.

This was also really handy because I'm into several of the girls who work at the restaurant and they saw (and overheard, I'm sure) me with her...and one of the waitresses was also at the nightclub last night and saw me grinding and groping with the crazy bitch, so I'm sure she and all the girls on staff gossiped about how I, of all people, was macking with two good looking girls in less than 24 hours.

It was the most bizarre thing. I think A was really turned on.

Ok, so upon re-reading your original post quickly and reading the new info, I'd say that she sounded like she wanted you, but didn't want to mess up the friendship, as well as using that and talking about other guys as a defense, either against committment, or maybe an anti-slut defense (hard to tell through just words). Regardless, she wanted you, but was conflicted over it.

You come in, show her she isn't the one that gets to make the rules, she isn't something special and you ARE. She pisses you off and you have no problem showing it, although I thought you went a bit far with being so mean, it may have been called for and that's why it worked so well. You demonstrated that you didn't view her as a friend, that you viewed her as a sexual being (although I would make it sound less like you view her as an object next time, because although it's hot and turns them on, it is degrading and is bad for a lasting impression).

I think you made the right move here, although as I said, be a bit more tactful, but with the same frame, the same way of feeling about yourself. I think she's definitely someone you can turn into something more, whether it be a FB or something more. Keep going, but be less mean.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Thanks for the eval. I'm definitely aware and in agreement that next time need I not be so harsh and objectify her nearly as much...I feel that was largely a "one-time-use" thing as both a reaction to the information she gave and as a manner of coming out with all my guns blazing to make a strong impression in "re-branding" myself in her eyes. I said it in the "crazy bitch" thread too, but I'm usually really not this aggressive...just happened to run into two consecutive situations that called for it and it worked in my favor.

But yeah, I think I gained a one-up here, so to speak. Thanks for validating.

then why do you even have to ask this question?

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I love it

I don't follow... Also your image tag isn't working.