Ok, there was a big girl and ugly at this party i was at. she had hot friends so i went and talked to her to get to her friends. I walked up and complimented her belt that was one that lite up and said words. here is the conversation.


Me: Hey, i like your belt
Her: Really...
Me: yeah, i saw one a little while ago but it had pink letters. I wanted to buy it but did not think that i could pull it off
Her: you would not have been able to
Me: um...ok...where did u get that one
Her: Peru
Me: o so it was probably pretty inexpensive
Her: I do not know...so what is with this sarcastic back handed compliments?
Me: excuse me?
Her: you can just leave, i do not like you...(some insults)

So i went and talked to my friends and decided to bounce after that (it was her place.) What I think happened was that through her life, this girl was put down and made fun of. So when i went over and complimented her belt, she thought i was just making fun of her, even though i was not. I am pretty sure my tone was sincere, but she still took it the wrong way, of me making fun of her. i learned that she is a lesbian but i do not know if anything has to do with that? any ideas to avoid this in the future? or on why?

You probably went wrong at "so it must have been inexpensive." She probably took it as "So, you're cheap." Maybe next time leave price out of it. That kind of thing could really kill the mood. You could have made a joke about making the belt say different things. Maybe build a conversation about how cool it would be if the belt could just stream Will Ferral quotes or quotes from the movie Zoolander or something. That way there's no way to offend her, and maybe she will connect with the movies. After all, if you weren't trying to game her, there was no reason to avoid the friend zone, so you wouldn't have to neg or kino escalate (she wasn't cute afterall).

~Fra Diavlo

Yeah She thought youre saying she's cheap. That was a bad line to use.

Also you seen one a little ahwile ago, but how when there sold in Peru:) anyway your plan was good but you just need some work on delivery.

I'm guessing she had to put up with alot of remarks in the past and so is very defensive. This isn't your fault, but I think a master would like anticipate this and be very carefull with his words.

_________________
Now looking back at all we've had...
we let so many dreams just slip through our hands...
Why must we wait so long before we see
How sad the answers to those questions can be?

When she said 'peru', thats where you should have transitioned. Its best to move from the opener (into A2) as soon as the opportunity arises. Unless you're having a great conversation over the opener, but you still need extend the conversation as soon as you can.
dont worry about it, you're always gonna meet bad eggs. Especially these lesbians.
Yeah 'inexpensive' wasn't a great choice of words. But i think you was just unlucky that you opened a lesbian, if she wasn't, it probably would have been alright.

_________________
To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

Why're you negging an obstacle? It's just as bad as complimenting the target when you're not running direct game.

I know it was unintentional, but you get the point.

okay, think about this....

even though you're being sincere, here's the progression of where you went wrong:

1.) She's a big girl... you're complimenting her belt... drawing attention to an area that she's probably self conscious about.

2.) You say you wanted to get one with pink letters, but you didn't think you could pull it off... most guys don't talk about wanting this stuff, combine it with you're complimenting something surrounding a hugely sensitive area... she going to start to think you're poking fun at her and her friends are laughing.

3.) You call her cheap. You were probably saying that she was being a smart buyer because it was probably inexpensive... to girls... inexpensive means "looks cheap."

You're lucky you didn't punched in the face.

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- Zip

lol and he was really trying to be nice too.Sigh why is it so damm difficult arghh.

_________________
Now looking back at all we've had...
we let so many dreams just slip through our hands...
Why must we wait so long before we see
How sad the answers to those questions can be?

Because if it were easy... everyone would be "doing it."

_________________
- Zip

yeah i talked to a friend about it and he said what Zip said. I just need to be aware of the environment too. She was an ALPHA female and had the "FUCK YOU" look on her face so i should have probably stayed away all together. I understand now that what started off as a compliment came off a lot different. I should have read her personality and body language too. There are some people that are better to be left alone, and she was one of them.

Thats true. Try to pick one out of the group who looks friendly and sometimes the one who looks most bored, the one is being left out of the conversation, they will appreciate the attention, its useaully the bitch's who like to do most of the talking.

If you neg someone in an area they are self-consious about, thats it its over. This is exactly why you should'nt neg these type of girls. Oh well at least you learnt something from it.

_________________
To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

see, i did not intentionally try and neg this girl. It just came off that way. I realize it now that i should have not said that, but it was just a sentence that could go either way, and she took it the way that I did not mean it to come off as. I knew that there was no reason to Neg her at all, so I stayed away from Negging, but she took a comment as a Neg. Just have to be more careful in the future.

Yeah i realise it was just a slip of the tongue, these things happen.
It wasn't your fault, its her fault for taking it that way, and being so negative. Any nice, friendly, happy, positive girl would'nt have reacted like that, but its ashame, not all people are so friendly.

_________________
To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

Then the chunky lesbo shouldn't wear a belt that highlights her enlarged mid-section. Just like guys peacock to attract attention she did the same thing. She just took the compliment wrong. Thats her problem, not shades.

_________________
success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

It obviously became his problem when she caused a scene and asked him to leave. You befriend the alpha male in a set, disarm him. Just like you don't piss off an alpha rhino because she made a bad fashion decision.

_________________
- Zip

Alright guys. I made the mistake by not reading the room and the alpha chick wrong. I think that what i said should not have caused her to get as mad as she did, but it also served as a good lesson for me. In the future i will be able to recognize girls like her and know what to do in the future. i do not like blaming other people for my mistakes. She took what i said wrong, so it is my fault on not reading her correctly and making sure what i said came out nicely and could only be understood in only one way. If my game was perfect, i would have been able to read her and know what to say and what not to say. I like to think that if something goes wrong it is MY fault and i need to find a way to fix it. I will not blame it on the girls because that does not help me become better. I have to learn from my mistakes and make sure I do not make them again.
So in the future, if i go to a party that does not feel right like this one did, i will sit back for a few and just study the room and the people in it. If i did that that time, i would have realized that she and a lot of other girls in the room were people to be very careful when talking and interacting with. It was a good lesson and again, I think of it as my fault for not reading people correctly and will be sure to be more careful in the future so it does not happen again.