Neediness When atracted



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A Sticking Point or SP is an issue you CONSISTENTLY run into.

It is NOT a point where you get stuck with ONE SPECIFIC GIRL.

A Sticking Point is:
Quote:
I keep getting LMR whenever I bring girls back to my place. This has happened at least 10 times already! What am I doing wrong?
A Sticking Point is NOT:
Quote:
I got LMR with this one girl! What do I do?
IT IS AGAINST THIS BOARD'S RULES TO POST THREADS ABOUT JUST ONE GIRL
If you have not already gone out and practiced enough to have a real Sticking Point from meeting an ABUNDANCE of women, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO POST HERE.



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 Post subject: Neediness When atracted
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 1:41 am 
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In general I don't show neediness I am a pretty ladeback guy but the problem I keep having is that when I am atracted to a girl she's in my head and I exibit neediness towards her ... if it's in the club let's say or at a bar I know what to amd since I know it's for a short period of time I get a hold of myself . Let's say I see her 5 times on campus I talk to her maybe twice if I am not atracted .If I am , I try to game her every chance I get for example and I end up not giving her space ... I noticed this over time and I don't know how to deal with this ... neediness is a turn off . I haven't asked out the girl I am atracted to now for example yet because I know if I did I 'd get rejected since I am exibiting neediness . I need to exibit indiference ( if you teach me how ) let it cook for a while and then I ask her out ( so by that I would have built some value )


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 2:29 am 
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Make sure you talk on the phone rather than text... I have a similar problem


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 2:30 am 
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Less is more


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 11:10 am 
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Quote:
Make sure you talk on the phone rather than text... I have a similar problem
By texting you miss out on so much like eye contact and kino I know you might have neediness in check but live contact is so much better if you can handle it


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 11:38 pm 
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I think setting rules about communication is a good way to address the issue. For me it helps at least

Separating your emotions from the situation will also help you make More rational decisions. No woman has a golden vagina despite what qualities she might have...

Also only resort to "game" when it's applicable, otherwise it may come off as weird or that you're over compensating


Last edited by felipe89 on Wed Nov 22, 2017 11:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 11:43 pm 
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my texting is really weak I mean really really stale , I would love it if there was another alternative to this


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 12:12 am 
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What does this statement mean?
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I try to game her every chance I get for example and I end up not giving her space
When you realize that you're interested what are you doing to "game her"? Another significant question...why does it take you seeing her a few times to know that you are interested in her enough to game her?

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 12:35 am 
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I usually decide to game a girl if she's one of 3 things :
she's my type : colored eyes ( this time her eyes are green and orange) and skinny blonde
she's really really fun
she has big tits for her size

Gaming her would be talking about everything and anything to see what interests her while making eye contact when she might busy heading somewhere or in a rush or not in the mood . Well if she isn't any of those she won't appreciate it anymore since I would have already shocked her . Usually I don't notice all these details , when I see her I approach and I apply the 3 second rule from there it goes downhill ..


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 1:02 am 
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Quote:
I usually decide to game a girl if she's one of 3 things :
she's my type : colored eyes ( this time her eyes are green and orange) and skinny blonde
she's really really fun
she has big tits for her size
Well, you have good taste, haha.

Skinny and big eyes always does it for me. Very feminine.
Quote:
Gaming her would be talking about everything and anything to see what interests her
No.

This is how the gimp-necked, slumpy-shouldered losers do it on Youtube. Their frame is that a woman is on a pedestal ,and you are a pigeon, pecking at the crumbs she gives you until the princess lets you into her world.

Your frame should be "is this woman good enough for me?".


You: Hi.
Her: Hey.
You: You're kinda my type.
Her: Oh yeah?
You: Yeah.

Right away, brutal honesty and congruency. You approached her because she is your type. And you're just saying what you're thinking.

You: But I'm not sure if you have the wicked sense of humor I like. I'm a big fan of banter.
Her: (usually looking shocked as fuck, like "the balls on this guy! the nerve!" and right away, you're not 99% of the fucking idiots who put her on a pedestal) Oh really? I can throw down with the best of them.

Again, you're making her try to meet your standards. You're being sincere, too.

Notice there is not a god damn word in here about the weather, or her interests . Right away, off the bat, congruency and honesty. You're getting right to the fucking point. you can talk about that shit later.

When you employ this kind of honest, direct game with a solid gym routine and diet, you'll have a synergistic effect and your world will become more like Hank Moody's, and less like Carlton Banks'.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 1:09 am 
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Quote:
I usually decide to game a girl if she's one of 3 things :
she's my type : colored eyes ( this time her eyes are green and orange) and skinny blonde
she's really really fun
she has big tits for her size

Gaming her would be talking about everything and anything to see what interests her while making eye contact when she might busy heading somewhere or in a rush or not in the mood . Well if she isn't any of those she won't appreciate it anymore since I would have already shocked her . Usually I don't notice all these details , when I see her I approach and I apply the 3 second rule from there it goes downhill ..
My fault...I misread your original statement. I thought you had said that it took a while for you to decide that you were interested.

Even though I'm still wondering the same thing. In the beginning of your gaming, does she walk away knowing that you are attracted to her? More importantly, does she give you any indication that she's attracted to you? The reason I ask this is because a lot of this neediness sounds like you aren't pushing forward and the result is you not feeling confident that you have her on the hook. Instead, you push these needy interactions waiting for her to give you something while you try to show how you are a fun and cool guy. If that is what you are doing, you're wasting a lot of time. Hook her in with you demonstrating that you are attracted to her while taking advantage of your attractive qualities (ie. personality, looks) and in return she's going to give you an indicator of where you stand so you won't have any need for the neediness.

I admit that I'm working with limited information that you've provided, so a lot of this is me filling in the blanks.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 1:36 am 
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Well no she doesn't run away because of me , the problem is girls don't show disinterest they show indifference and next thing you know I am siting there trying to think of the next time I see her to get that fucking spark going and get things moving lol ... by the way wouldn't saying to a girl she's cute or anything off the bat would be also kind of pandering to her ??


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 1:42 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
I usually decide to game a girl if she's one of 3 things :
she's my type : colored eyes ( this time her eyes are green and orange) and skinny blonde
she's really really fun
she has big tits for her size
Well, you have good taste, haha.

Skinny and big eyes always does it for me. Very feminine.
Quote:
Gaming her would be talking about everything and anything to see what interests her
No.

This is how the gimp-necked, slumpy-shouldered losers do it on Youtube. Their frame is that a woman is on a pedestal ,and you are a pigeon, pecking at the crumbs she gives you until the princess lets you into her world.

Your frame should be "is this woman good enough for me?".


You: Hi.
Her: Hey.
You: You're kinda my type.
Her: Oh yeah?
You: Yeah.

Right away, brutal honesty and congruency. You approached her because she is your type. And you're just saying what you're thinking.

You: But I'm not sure if you have the wicked sense of humor I like. I'm a big fan of banter.
Her: (usually looking shocked as fuck, like "the balls on this guy! the nerve!" and right away, you're not 99% of the fucking idiots who put her on a pedestal) Oh really? I can throw down with the best of them.

Again, you're making her try to meet your standards. You're being sincere, too.

Notice there is not a god damn word in here about the weather, or her interests . Right away, off the bat, congruency and honesty. You're getting right to the fucking point. you can talk about that shit later.

When you employ this kind of honest, direct game with a solid gym routine and diet, you'll have a synergistic effect and your world will become more like Hank Moody's, and less like Carlton Banks'.

By the way you sir exhibit a strong understanding of this whole " frame " concept so please clarify when someone has a strong frame does it mean he keeps reframing so he stays within his initial frame ? (in this case he wouldn't let anyone change the subject of "is this woman good enough for me?" right ?


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 2:04 am 
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Quote:
By the way you sir exhibit a strong understanding of this whole " frame " concept so please clarify when someone has a strong frame does it mean he keeps reframing so he stays within his initial frame ? (in this case he wouldn't let anyone change the subject of "is this woman good enough for me?" right ?
Yes, but it's okay to be a human and be flexible, too. You don't want to be a complete cold asshole, but you want to be confident, and re-frame if things are going off track.

Keeping a strong frame, keeping good physicality, and remaining centered and playful will bring you a world of abundance, and increase first night lays significantly.

BTW, when you watch most Youtube pickup videos, notice how fast the guys talk, how often, and how they jerk themselves around. That's feminine as fuck, and might work on cougars or obese younger women, but it's a bad frame.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 2:18 am 
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What do you mean by remaining centered ?


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 3:15 am 
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Emotionally-centered: Not over-contacting (text, phone), not being super possessive or controlling, not being neurotic (dwelling on a tiny thing a woman did for weeks instead of moving on) feeling the compulsive need to "have talks" often, when nothing is wrong, etc.

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