chocolatePua

I think I'm already way too nice to her.... showing too much sympathy might put me in the "nice guy" category... wouldn't it be better to not text her further? I don't think she is responsive for a reason...

unfortunately, she's given her whole life story to me.... ((For some reason I like crazy women))I don't think this ex-bf was one that she was close to.... he hasn't been as talkative as usual I don't think it's a result of problems she's dealing with but the fact that I sent her some stupid messages a week or two ago and because our last in person interaction wasn't particularly good... I mean I was a bit stressed and tired...

didn't I already show her sympathy when I said "Sorry to hear that"?

I thought about saying " hey why do you have so much drama with your ex-boyfriends?.... Thankfully we are just friends." (I won't send that lol)


Also thought about sending this:
ok glad that you are alive. I was slightly concerned about your safety by some texts... I was also concerned been a victim of a motocycle/car accident; you know, like James Dean; but unlike James Dean you aren't youthful....

Your sympathy has been in a backhanded, disingenuous manner, or at least that's how I interpret it. Giving her HONEST sympathy and THEN putting some distance is not being too nice, it's just being a decent person. Just try to be genuine and heartfelt before you give her some space, IF she needs sympathy, is all I'm saying.

chocolate PUA This is what I sent her:

Her:
It’s okay... You couldn’t have known. Thank you though

Me:
hey i was having some issues with my main line when I switched to metro pcs; I'm not a sketchy person or a celebrity with multiple lines lol
any way, sorry to hear that you are having some past issues come up... And of course it's sad when anyone overdoses
hope your well despite a lot of personal challenges that have arisen...

it's repetitive

I kind of fucked up the attraction because some personal things that were going on with me. But I think she doesn't know what she wants either and she is someone who changes her mind....She's also not entirely honest about some things...

It's gone from her begging for a date and asking if I'd be willing to move or fly(different messages, different topics:costa rica her former residence, and a vacation) to me texting her things that were prob misinterpreted


I'm not going to text or call her further; I Think in a months time I might try to invite out to something but the impression that I gave last over text message prob changed her interest in me...

Jesus christ, man. Stop apologizing!

If a girl sent me this text I'd stop responding to her unless she was a Victoria's Secret model (she'd get one more chance, lol).

It makes you look like you have no spine at all.


Yes, this is exactly what we talk about here. Attraction is not a choice. A woman knows she'll sleep with you right away. But 95% of men talk their way out of the attraction. The reason why so many guys here say "texting is for meet ups only" is for a god damn reason. It's to train emotionally-uncentered men to stop fucking barfing out their emotions in text. This allows for less flakes, and less flakes increases the chance for sex, which increases the chance for a woman falling for you.



you need to enact what I call a "needy cleanse". And this will do it.

Don't text her for a couple weeks unless she reaches out.

You: Hey XXX, how are things?
Her: Good, you!
you: I've been having a blast lately. By the way, let's grab a drink at Bar x on Wednesday, 9 pm."

If she agrees, put the fucking phone down and save Chatty Timmy for the date.

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I understand, there are million other women out there, so continuing to think about this one situation is a real waste of time.... as well, I may have fucked it up beyond repair or she doesn't know what she wants...the possibilities are endless...
Some of the things she has said were weird.. I mean some personal things shes shared with me, and or thoughts about "we","us"... Things that you don't share necessarily all right away... in reality, people are not "open books"....I did share things with her but i told her, I like to get to know someone slowly.... This is the kind of woman, that's almost perfect... that guys will chase...so it's weird that she came at me so soon, so intensely, as if to fill an emotional void... I question whether it was genuine or based on infatuation, manipulation or craziness? and with this woman, I'm not sure whether she is mature or immature

I wasn't afraid to escalate with her, the night I slept over, I already did,but she had this sense that I didn't trust her or that i was insecure with myself that I couldn't. I was tired; had a bad day and in hindsight should not met up with her then.... It turned into a pep talk, "you realize I really like you, That you wouldn't be here otherwise....
I've dated and had one night stands with really beautiful women. as beautiful as this one... so I wasn't intimidated by her looks or social status...

If insecurity more than anything else, did away with attraction and or interest, would contacting her in a month with a really cocky line work? or does a facade of confidence make chicks think worse of you. In other words she has to believe your confidence...


"Hey Whatever, all my other girls, way hotter"

"Hey nice Vans, want to bang?"

Does saying such things to a more emotionally mature woman come across as amateur?

Stop it.

Do you know how to tell when a woman is into you? She agrees to meet you, and unzips your pants.


Until that happens, it's all meaningless bullshit and conjecture.

Dude. Stop.

You need to go out and start meeting other women. Yo uare taking this way, way too far, too soon. she was simply a girl who was attracted to you, and might still be! But she has a bf.

Read what I'm about to say carefully:

You have to be PATIENT with women. And when I say "patient", I mean it could take days, weeks, or months. No joke. this is how an emotionally-centered man, who understands how women work behaves.

A woman who is thinking of cheating on her boyfriend will come and go in waves. When times are good with the bf, she'll withdraw from you. When they are bad, she'll reach out to you or someone else.

the goal is to not wait on the princess, but to live YOUR life, see other women. This woman should not be treated for anything more than how she's treated you: a devious woman looking for a thrill.

She is not a fragile princess.


This is beta male behavior. When you fail to lead like a dominant male, women will see you less and less as a sexual option.




Two weeks of no contact. Make sure the text is entirely positive and leading.


This is a pathetic, embarrassing line.

this will be the last time I give you advice if you continue to ignore it, and repeat the same fucking questions over and over.

You in two weeks:

You: Hey, how are things?
Her: Great. You?
You: I'm having a blast with my career lately. BTW, it's Netflix and drinks night at my place, 9. You're welcome to join.


This text succeeds in doing what you utterly failed to: It leads, it lacks negative emotions, it's not ass-kissey, and it shows you just want to fuck.

A dominant man goes for what he wants. If he's rejected, he moves the fuck on, and goes for what he wants again, because he knows he's the prize.

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Thanks for the advice

I have other options that are just as hot or cool; it's just more, i'm disappointed in how I've handled myself here

It's not over.

Like I said, you have to learn patience. Patience is not "Oh my God, this woman stopped texting me, it's THE END". If you had any kind of connection, things can happen later.

Patience is especially important with women with boyfriends. And you can't get over this one because your attraction for her is extremely high.

You are doing exactly the right thing by pulling back. Look at this period of no contact as a great way to learn to harness your emotions.

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It's cool; I need to focus on myself(busy) anyway.....


I just don't think text messages would fix this; more like accidentally bump into her; (not on purpose: that's weird)

Yeah. focusing on yourself will have the intended effect.

Did you send some texts you didn't tell us about?

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This woman is crazy and probably deceptive as well... And It seems I love crazy hot ones... As trashy as this woman sounds, she comes from a wealthy family and has a nursing degree which has lead to my nickname for her "rebel child"

I'm rather busy interviewing with some international firms and dealing with my own personal bullshit... This woman calls and messages me out of no where...

I’m in the hospital. I will try you tomorrow. I’m moving out of_________ (her friends place, a friend who is ripping her off for the location and apartment, basically a friend that use to like her)

Being the person that I am, I called the hospital to inquire if she was there... I then call her later in the day... turns out, she was there for alcohol poisoning and observation... on the call she is frantic, distressed etc... she asks me to come and see her... Then she tells me that this friend is evicting(in a unlawful way)she blows up my phone at my job.....within one hour, I get her an apartment in one of the most expensive parts of the city for half the value... next day, I learn it doesn't work out...I guess the parents wanted her to get a nicer place... she moves back with her parents... her parents get her a studio,even at the age of 41.. I would of helped her even if I wasn't interested in her romantically... I was so busy with my own shit and work that I didn't sleep for 2-3days... so I told her "Listen you blew off my date invitation after it was you that initially invited me out... I generally don't respond to women after that" she responds with her stuff... Then she responds to my statement with "i said YES... you said NVM... can we talk about this later" she flips out on me about some other stuff... I told her she needs to be more responsible and less impulsive etc... coming from a 28 year old, I can see how lame and annoying this comment was

next day, I bring up the fact that what we are doing is not "Friends with benefits".... detach from the emotional side to do fun activities and bang... She gets mad at me for bringing up the subject...

We meet; have dinner; she clarifies the situation; the dinner subject matter becomes light harted and flirtatious...she grabs my hand...we go to a friend of mines restaurant to get a dessert; I flirt with her; she tells me how attracted she is to me sometimes... she then offers me a place to stay (couch) as she knows I'm living with a friend..in response, I tell her, listen I'm not hanging out with you for a place to stay... besides, I'm not willing to accept any offer accept your bed.... I kissed her some

she contacts me early in the morning with a date suggestion... some stupid documentary... she later comes to my temp job (Night club; gets me in trouble with my boss and I tell the bartenders to cut her off; she was definitely high or her antidepressants were kicking in... she probably should have not been there being that she was in the hospital earlier in the week) She was supposed to swing by to pick up something for her mother and she ended up staying

I've made some major mistakes here: first off I've bought her dinner twice... I'm practically a meal ticket now... secondly, I came at her in a needy/desperate way

not sure how I should proceed... I kind of want to say hey, "you can accept my date invitation or not otherwise I'll move on..."

She texts me on a daily basis. asks how I'm doing, flirts with me

Is the whole conversation "I'm not looking for a deep emotional connection with someonethat doesn't even want to date" to lame/direct to be had? I just don't want to waste my time further

I've made fun of her some about her crazy issues... The other day I text her:

STELLA! STELLA!!
Oh excuse me, you are a blanche

Her response:
It takes one to know one...

The situation is complicated: she asks me out to different events, for advice, and other things....


I agree with some previous advice... ignoring her some and not texting her would change the dynamics... also, I clearly give her way too much attention and affection for what kind of woman she is....

OP... You sound crazier than this chick by far. Some super clingy tendencies and to be blunt if she's not open to fucking you after fucking you the sex was bad. More later but you need to smack yourself

I've only hanged out with her three times... and the only reason I didn't go over to her place the third time was because she's staying at her parents place... I even joked about it with her...

She invites me to events and different things all the time... She herself doesn't know if she is going to them

I'm just trying to lay off the text messages...

maybe even ignore her some

Look man, you're texting a chick you met 3 times from other phones
You're calling hospitals for a chick you met 3 times. I dont know why you'd call a hospital when she told you where she was. Thats clingy and stalkerish
Shit, you're finding apartments for a grown woman

You have some crazy issues...its not that you love crazy women...if you had behaved similarly with a normal chick she'd next you. Added to that you have your own shit to take care of, following this trainwreck is crazy and stupid. You're doing all of this for woman who has done nothing for you. And even then, you're too weak to even make solid moves or decisive actions. Bang her, fine. But you're nuts if you take this woman for more than that, or go out of your way to help her. Chick with no place in 40's, abusive ex's, not even banging you or meeting you who's getting alcohol poisoning on the weekends? Seriously, whatever it is that makes you gravitate to this blue balls dsyfunction you gotta figure out because when this trainwreck is over, these needy desperate actions arent going to fly with a regular chick.