Here my texts I've been sending to this girl. She's more of a friend but I feel she slightly coming on to me. Feel free to mention where I could do better.
Me: Afternoon sunshine! Hope moi Lady is feeling better today as she was pretty horse radished jelly faced last night x
HB: I'm much better today thanks

how are you? X
Me: Honestly? Horny.........Jokes darling, sorry for rasing your hopes

you know me *****, always dandy x
HB: Haha wouldnt be surprised! Good stuff

x
Me: Wouldnt be surprised? What does that mean? This annoys me that I cant work out what you said as I am smarter than you. Damn it *****, explain yourself women! No kiss this time im afraid...
HB: What makes you think your smarter than me ******?!
Me: First, that would be Mr ******* to you Lady ****. Second, Omg..... did you just question my brain power to yours?! Im deeply offended, n you just started a war which you possibly couldnt win. IT. IS. ON
HB: Bring it bitch! Its on like donkey kong
Me: Oh n now you resort to swearing eh? Tut tut, foul little potty mouth. Well I expect nothing less, after all your a girl from ********! Muhahahaha!
HB: Oh no need to get all offensive *******! Take a look at where you live before you start insulting ******* eh
Me: *Shocked face* Thats not nice *****. I know your abit of a ned eh but thats a low blow. Im telling your mother. I'll make sure she'll spank you until you apologise to the whole of ********, my goldfish n especially to me (the greatest man alive.)
HB: haha yeh you know me, biggest ned alive. Better watch your back mateeeeeee
Me: Haha woman please.... I dont take kindly to such petty threats. Now since that I am of course ******* therefore the greatest man alive, I must fly to the moon n bake a cake there. If your a nice girl, I may even save you a piece. Cant text in space, I'll see you me Lady later in the week. Truce on war for now x
Cheers fellas!