I will not date a girl who hangs around with her exes



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 4:12 pm 
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For two reasons:

1. You should never HAVE to tell a woman "look, this offends me, I don't like when you hang around with your exes". A woman of Quality should already know that such behaviour is not cool and hence she will not do it without having to be told not to.

2. A woman who surrounds herself with exes and guys she has banged is an insecure woman. Why? Because she needs the ego boost of being around guys who at one stage found her sexually attractive enough to sleep with her. A woman of quality derives self-esteem from within, and she will not be hanging with these dudes.


For these two reasons, I have no tolerance for that bullshit when it comes to a serious relationship.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 8:03 pm 
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1. You should never HAVE to tell a woman "look, this offends me, I don't like when you hang around with your exes". A woman of Quality should already know that such behaviour is not cool and hence she will not do it without having to be told not to.
I don't see that behavior as not cool. a true woman of quality does what SHE wants when SHE wants to.
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2. A woman who surrounds herself with exes and guys she has banged is an insecure woman. Why? Because she needs the ego boost of being around guys who at one stage found her sexually attractive enough to sleep with her. A woman of quality derives self-esteem from within, and she will not be hanging with these dudes.
Or maybe she still likes these guys in a platonic way. A true woman of quality looks past the label of 'ex' and decides if he is a guy she has fun hanging out with.

I always think of it as "if i slept with her and the relationship didn't work out, would i at least like the opportunity to still be friends? probably" and that settles it. If I was one of those guys, and she was fun to hang out with, I would want to hang out with her.


Are you sure the reason you don't 'put up with this bullshit' isn't your own insecurities about a girl your dating running off with an ex because you're too low value?

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 8:51 pm 
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Well I think your all wrong
is that like a "you all are wrong" or "you are wrong"

like does that encompass what I said or just what he said?

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 9:22 pm 
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I don't see that behavior as not cool. a true woman of quality does what SHE wants when SHE wants to.
Don't make me laugh.

A quality woman considers her lover's thoughts and feelings before acting. At least on major issues like this. She should know not to hang around her exes. It's incredibly disrespectful.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 9:58 pm 
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1. You should never HAVE to tell a woman "look, this offends me, I don't like when you hang around with your exes". A woman of Quality should already know that such behaviour is not cool and hence she will not do it without having to be told not to.
Why does it offend you? I think a quality woman can make her own decisions and trying to control her and decide who can be around her is a mistake. Like I just asked, and with all due respect, why does it bother you so much?
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2. A woman who surrounds herself with exes and guys she has banged is an insecure woman. Why? Because she needs the ego boost of being around guys who at one stage found her sexually attractive enough to sleep with her. A woman of quality derives self-esteem from within, and she will not be hanging with these dudes.
I don't think this is a sign of insecurity at all. Sure they are exes, but there is no reason they can't be friends now. I have plenty of exes that I am real close with still, and no we are not sexually engaged any longer. One ex in particular is one of my best friends and she is now dating another guy who has since become another one of my really good friends. I don't have security problems at all - we both see each other as just friends and we have fun hanging out.
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For these two reasons, I have no tolerance for that bullshit when it comes to a serious relationship.
Do you think a girl will/should tolerate you dictating who she can and can't hang out with? I think that is a little bit on the controlling side and she may see it as smothering her after a while. That is a turn off to girls.

No matter who she is with, if she truly respects you she will not cross certain lines and you shouldn't have to point these lines out. At the end of the day, she will be with you despite who she was with earlier. It also comes down to your securities and inner game.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:22 pm 
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A quality woman considers her lover's thoughts and feelings before acting. At least on major issues like this. She should know not to hang around her exes. It's incredibly disrespectful.
a quality woman also sees that lover's come and go and friends will stay around.


ntm why would a woman date a guy she doesn't want to be friends with?

its not disrespectful at all.


hell, i'd actually prefer my girls hanging out with ex's than with new guys. with ex's girls know to keep a tab on the attraction thing.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 12:09 am 
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I agree with Hobbit and KristallNachte, and also: if you refuse to be with all women that are friends with their exes, you are really limiting yourself with the number of girls you consider dating..

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:14 am 
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She is a tramp. Pure and simple. If you like tramps no problem. If you don't want a tramp then there is a problem.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:19 am 
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She is a tramp. Pure and simple. If you like tramps no problem. If you don't want a tramp then there is a problem.
TROLL!!!


TROOOOOLLLLL!!!!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 2:22 am 
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She is a tramp. Pure and simple. If you like tramps no problem. If you don't want a tramp then there is a problem.
If you are being serious, I'd like to know how you think this makes her a tramp.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:27 am 
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It fascinates me how everyone on this thread is boxing it into a simple yes/no answer.

People, it all depends...

…. I always ask myself WHY her and her bfriend broke up... this can be a little personal to ask too soon but try and probe passively by reciprocation to find this out (it is important).

There are normally 4 main reasons for break up...

1. her and her ex are both still madly in love, but its not working out because they fight too much,have grown apart, dont get on any more etc etc. (the love is still there though)

2. she is madly in love with him but he left her as he doesnt love her anymore

3. he is madly in love with her but she left him as she doesnt love him anymore

4. they both are not keen on each other anymore and simply fell out of love.


I only get involved with 3 and 4's.

Are you telling me you're going to go out with a girl that falls into category 2 and be happy about her seeing her ex? If so then you're being foolish and selling yourself short.

As I said it all depends on how they left it....I am also friends with a lot of my ex's, however most of these ex's I was not that serious about. The serious ones I tend to lose contact with completely for very good reasons, especially if its a category 1 or 2 situation!


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:56 am 
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of course it depends. our point was that its not disqualifying conduct, nor is it even disrespectful conduct.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 8:29 am 
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Question. For those that think it is okay for a girl to hang around her ex, do you think the ex will try and get back together with the girl you are with?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 11:34 am 
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Question. For those that think it is okay for a girl to hang around her ex, do you think the ex will try and get back together with the girl you are with?
are you asking us in general? how would we possibly be able to have an opinion on this if we dont know how the ex feels about the girl and what the situation is?

maybe i am missing something here...


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:56 pm 
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I don't see that behavior as not cool. a true woman of quality does what SHE wants when SHE wants to.
Wrong. If what "she wants to do" is not cool, then she's not a woman of quality. Next.
Quote:
2. A woman who surrounds herself with exes and guys she has banged is an insecure woman. Why? Because she needs the ego boost of being around guys who at one stage found her sexually attractive enough to sleep with her. A woman of quality derives self-esteem from within, and she will not be hanging with these dudes.
Quote:
Or maybe she still likes these guys in a platonic way. A true woman of quality looks past the label of 'ex' and decides if he is a guy she has fun hanging out with.

I always think of it as "if i slept with her and the relationship didn't work out, would i at least like the opportunity to still be friends? probably" and that settles it. If I was one of those guys, and she was fun to hang out with, I would want to hang out with her.


Are you sure the reason you don't 'put up with this bullshit' isn't your own insecurities about a girl your dating running off with an ex because you're too low value?
Such naivety. Exes are hungry wolves. And there is nearly always an emotional imbalance after a breakup.
It's typical of a woman to call such behaviour insecurity; rather, it's the opposite. It's about self-respect.

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Last edited by Legion on Mon Oct 05, 2009 2:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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