GUIDE FOR GUYS JUST STARTING OUT (DO’S AND DONT’S)
So in the past few years of working with guys I’ve noticed all of them have pretty much the same questions
about how to start their journey of being good with women.
Where to start? How to go about it?
What not to do? What to do?
What to focus on? What to ignore?
So I made this quick guide for all of you just starting out so you can get on track faster. I want to warn you
that these guides are not something I've come up with in an afternoon, but it took me literally YEARS to put
them together. Follow them to get on your journey easier.
1. Start with your first challenge, and stay there until you deal with it.
Don’t skip steps. Most guys want to just start learning as many things as possible through books and videos. One of the most common questions are about what books to read and what videos to watch. Pin point your first challenge - and start there. So if it’s approaching women, start there. Don’t learn about advanced seduction techniques if you can’t even say Hi to a girl.
2. Avoid “Illusionary gain to avoid real world pain”
Comfort zone is a bitch. And it’s very sneaky. Guys usually want to “study everything before taking a dip”. It’s your comfort zone holding you back. Don’t study 100+ hours of video and books to “understand” everything. Start with your first challenge and stay at it, read and watch videos only on that one challenge. Avoid paralysis by analysis.
3. Go slow and you’ll go fast.
Probably the concept I like the most. Take your time with each challenge you’re experiencing. Don’t try to skip it when it loses the flair and excitement. Stick to it. Spend 2, 3 weeks just learning to approach and overcome approach anxiety (if that's your challenge and it takes you that long to get over it) and then move to the next level. You’ll notice that when you do eliminate this one challenge, the other challenges will be
much easier to deal with.
4. Respect the transitions
It’s very cool to get all excited and say, “from now on I will only be dating hottest women out there” when you can’t even talk to the average looking ones. Start with where you’re comfortable, and move slowly towards the women that you’re really interested in. But respect this transition. Don’t try to jump too early into the big leagues. It’s important that you have a solid foundation to jump from.
5. Your rosetta stone challenge
One challenge will be giving you more problems than the other, and I call it your Rosetta stone challenge. Every single guy has 1 challenge that is giving him the most problems. For some it’s overcoming approach anxiety. For others, it’s the conversation after the approach. For others it’s the creating attraction and showing sexual interest to a girl. Be aware that you DO have your rosetta stone, and it will be causing you more challenges than the rest of them. If you stick to it and don’t stop dealing with it until you overcome it, once you do overcome it - other challenges will be much easier. Most get discouraged and quit here, don’t you do that. Keep going.
6. Action - Feedback - Correction
The recipe for success is action, get feedback, correct your actions, and do it again and again.
The recipe for failure is think about it, never do it, think about it some more, feel bad because you don’t do it, and repeat.
7. (80% action, 20% theory.)
This is the structure you want to keep in mind. 80% of your time needs to be focused on doing stuff, doing action. 20% is reading, watching videos and learning new info.
8. Attack your comfort zone.
Your comfort zone IS YOUR ENEMY. It will keep you where you are. Put yourself in situations where your heart is pounding, you’re breathing heavily, and you get tunnel vision. That’s the sweet spot right there.
Have a stage in your life where you are ATTACKING your comfort zone. Have the mindset of “I’m going to rip a new asshole to this comfort zone!”
Get pissed at your complacency, your fears, your blahhhh attitude.
9. Make it a 90 day MISSION.
Get a journal and title it
“My 90 day mission of becoming good with women”
In it, write down everything that comes up, any insecurity, fear, anything. Write your experiences during the day. Write your analysis of each situation - look below. Writing it down will help you track your progress, organise your thoughts and you’ll have a feeling that you’re on a mission.
10. Analyse the right way.
Most guys analyse this thing in the wrong way by beating themselves up for things they didn’t say or do. “I should have said this and done that”. This will not help you because your brain can’t recognise the negative from the positive, so if you’re just replaying the stuff you didn’t do right, then your brain will remember that and ironically, make you do more of it.
When analysing, you HAVE to use these two questions:
QUESTION #1: What did I do RIGHT in this interaction? Find even the smallest things, like “well I approached that girl in the first place”. You’ll notice it will be very hard for you to answer this question first, because your mind will automatically try to go to the things you screwed up. But resist that urge and stay focused on the question.
QUESTION #2: If I could do it again, what would I do DIFFERENTLY? Notice I didn’t say better, I said differently. 99% of guys will say better, because again, that is how our brain is wired. We always think we made mistakes and we try to fix things. Nothing is broken, you’re just trying to come up with alternate ways of doing the same thing, without judgment.
Use these two questions in your journal EVERY SINGLE TIME you have an interaction.
11. Implement a daily routine or a ritual of action.
Go to the mall for 20min 3 times per week with the intention of talking to girls. Watch out because your mind can play with you and find you an excuse. So trick your mind when you don’t feel like going by saying, “I’m just going to go and take a quick walk through the mall, and then I’m coming back home”
Your mind is always trying to protect you from any discomfort, and it will not help you succeed.
12. Get support
Join support groups (like this forum), fb groups (for access to my private one write me a pm), coaching programs, wings and others. Getting a coach is probably the fastest and strongest, but maybe you’re not there yet on the commitment scale. But the main point is get support, you’re not going to do this alone.
13. Reseve 3 to 6 months to get good with women.
I am being realistic here. 3 months is the minimum if you’re really commited, 6 months is probably more realistic to get really good. With consistency you’ll get OK after a month or two, but I am talking about being REALLY good here.
Now for you that think that is a long time, I have a question:
Imagine you can walk out of your door and know deep inside that if you want a girl, you are able to get one
in a day. Imagine having that power.
Now imagine not having that power. Imagine being dependent and wondering about where and how to
get a girl.
Now ask yourself how much is that worth to you?
I can tell you, IT'S WORTH IT.
If you have any questions, I'll be glad to answer them. You can ask here:
general-questions/got-questions-got-you ... 58-15.html or send me a pm.
CHAT
