Hey guys, quick question. I'm very down to earth and I get called "Nice" a lot. I'm also very polite, I have large vocabulary. It's hard for me to say - why this happens. I can sometimes be very open, maybe in the wrong way because I give emotional detail about myself.

A girl can see me like this sometimes. Depending how I feel or act.

The best way I can define it is (my assumption), the girl doesn't get sexually turned on, she may see me as a funny friend that can escalate. She doesn't see me as a dominant man that she respects. Cause you have to be above her.

I'm being honest with myself and putting some personal stuff here for open critique. I know there's a lot of intelligent people on here I thought I'd share it with you.

P.S. Does material stuff have to do with this? Like having a expensive car, being tall, deep voice. I'm at medium height, but my voice is not really low.

The way you interact with the world will determine the way others interact with you. If you behave in a way that is true to yourself, everyone will respect you for it. I try to be assertive every day of my life. If I don't want to do something, I don't force myself through doing it. If I don't find a joke funny, I won't laugh. If I don't want to be social, I won't be. Depends on what I want.

Same way for you. Do you feel like you're doing things because it will please people ? Or have you been in situations that you didn't really want to be in because you were polite ?

Once you start looking out for yourself, your mindset and beliefs change. I see what you're saying about the funny guy. You want to establish that you are a guy who can turn it on at any time. You can seduce a woman if you wanted to. That will give you the edge that you need and it will translate with your body language.


You do not need a car or any material items to be respected. It's all in your behavior and your mindset. I'll tell you this much, you shouldn't think you have to be "above her". Just treat her like a human being. She is probably tired of having controlling boyfriends and insecure dudes in her life. Give her something fresh and exciting.

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In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

Being a nice guy is not a bad thing but when you are the type of nice guy who does not have his own opinion and is being "dominated" by girls then it is a bad thing and you should change that.

Most advice on this forum comes down to 1 thing which is being the best man you can possibly be. How to become this best version of yourself? Accomplish things, gain confidence and teach yourself to not make girls your main source of happiness, also dont think of girls like there better than you.... i promise you girls will respect the fuck out of you when you get to this level of "life".

Also having options helps so when a girl does not want to chill with you for whatever reason you can text 3 other girls who will and you dont need to feel like shit all night and posting on forums why she does not want to chill.

Good luck!

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

Girls can have orgasms just by sucking on their nipples and mashing their breasts. They have twice more nerve endings on their clitoris than what we have on our entire penis. They can have +50 consecutive vaginal orgasms while it's a tall order for us men to cum three consecutive times in an hour without getting limp in between.

If you're patient and comfortable with hand holding, you can sexually turn on a woman versus a 'dominant' man who's not comfortable touching a woman and who cums in less than two minutes. If you're really good at something then you become dominant in that activity. That's all there is to becoming a dominant man-- becoming extremely good at what you do whether it's basketball, MMA, politics, music, business or plain fucking and sexual escalation.

The lowly waiter or orderly still gets laid and is able to raise a family not because he is intellectually, socially, professionally or physically dominant but rather because he can sexually escalate.

Once you realize this, then you become a dominant man in the areas of sexual escalation and fucking plus in whatever professional field you are engaged in. When you fuck girls real good, they'll respect you more; otherwise, they'll lose their only source of multiple, consecutive vaginal orgasms. As long as you're willing to walk away when you have been treated bad, most girls won't risk losing their reliable source of pleasure. It's either they'll make up for that incidental bad SPAM / disrespect or they will not disrespect you at all.

When girls realize you're a scarce piece of beefcake, your value as a dominant man (in the sex department) shoots sky high.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

To add to the above, the maximum that people will respect you is how much you respect yourself. If you respect yourself a 3 out of 10, that's the maximum respect you can get from women.

Being nice is socially acceptable bullshit. It's fake, weak, non-self expressive, holding yourself back, and not being true to yourself. I'm not talking about being kindhearted -- I'm talking about being nice, like aiming to say things to make people feel good, doing things for people when you don't want to, avoiding confrontation as to not offend people, not living life on your terms, not expressing yourself completely. Nice is forgettable. That's all they remember you for.

Being real on the other hand is being you. You naturally polarize when you're real -- half the people will love you, the other half will hate you, but most importantly all of them will know you -- the real you -- and never forget you.
You either respect yourself or you don't. There's no half-assing it.

Girls like nice guys too. Let me explain, nice guys who have some kind of a agenda are creepy, okay? "Bad guys" are usually outcome independent, so by default their behavior is more aloof and enjoyable.

Nice guys with confidence, who are outcome independent are attractive.

Why act like you're above her? Just be confident in who you are, girls see trough us like we are made of glass. Don't be desperate and act differently when you're around them. However, you should be working on a better image of yourself, start visiting the gym, working out, reading books, trying out seminars in the field you like, creating connections and friend will make your life busier, you'll loke more sharp and with a goal. And man with purpose are attractive.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

This raised me a question. In the break of dancing class, a girl asks me to get a water to her in the snackbar, I just looked at her and laught. But the another guy who she asked "the nice guy" get the water for her...For me, the nice guy was been dominated, and I just a asshole.

In my view, the nice guy always will be "the dominated", how it come to be good?

I am not saying to be a asshole, be kind it is ok, but nice guys always will be in that situation. How you suggest to deal with that scenario?

What did you get from being the asshole?

I am not saying I am right,thats why I asked "what would you do in this scenario?". I extend the question to you.

Dominance and niceness are not mutually exclusive. You can open a door for a girl in a dominant way, and you can open a door in a nice "pussylike" way.

Like the poster's above example, I may have been nice and grabbed her the drink. Prob wouldve asked anyone else if they needed something too at the snack bar. Then come back with the snacks with more of a host vibe vs a suckup vibe. Then the next day when I needed a snack, ask the same girl to grab me one. In this context Im the cool guy, I'd use this familarity and socialness to fuck this girl.

Or, the asshole route. May have pretended like I was going to grab her something, come back with something for just myself. When she complains, I'd do a sigh, grab her hand and take her to the snackbar because she's being a baby. Flirt with her there. Either way, whether I'm nice or asshole, I can still convey I'm in charge. Just like Cross said. Laughing, and having her ask another guy, as the poster did, does nothing. Whatever you do, be dominant and escalate.

I see, thanks. I will choose a route and do that the next time.

Your post seems to have a slight contradiction. Being kind is not a hindrance, you can be kind, gentle and thoughtful and still have the respect and admiration of a woman. Being a ''nice'' guy is not always a bad thing but typically it's a label people use for those that they don't mind being around but have little to no importance to them.

Your issue here is more then likely escalation, rather then being rude or kind. If you can't turn a girl on, then you are likely being too ''nice'' and not open and honest and expressive enough to give her that feeling down below and make her think about her and you together in a tree...

You should consider being a bit more assertive.

I am stealing the OP post, hahahaha. Define "too nice", whats the boundry to be nice and AFC to you?

(I am really interested on this topic, because most of the time I am calm and nice)

Too nice would be sacrificing trying to move things in a more romantic direction for the sake of being polite/not offensive.

I.E. a guy that won't express any sort of romantic intentions or set personal boundaries for the sake of being almost purely altruistic even when it doesn't suit his true feelings what so ever.