So i have had this little debate with a female friend of mine (now please keep in mind that i am an absolute beginner with veeeery little field experience and still closer to an AFC than a PUA)

I have told her about some of mystery's ways(mostly about hes 13 steps) I've read about because i wanted to know how she on the other end would think about these (she is quite an intelligent woman) and she basically said this:

This is all worthless if there is no chemistry... she further explained: if i didn't know you (that being me and her) I wouldn't even consider you as a man and you wouldn't consider me as a woman because we lack the chemistry for that. Some people are just in no way attracted to each other and it can't be helped or altered through any fancy psychologial trick.
EDIT------

forgot to mention that she added, because of this I am the one who should choose the target carefully in order to succeed

EDIT------
I am currently nonstop browsing this forum for knowledge on everything related to the ways of a PUA and simultaneously reading Neil Strauss: The Game. I could not come up with any logical response that would have made sense.

So I would like to know your ideas on this particular topic.

It seems like what you're missing is that recognizing and building attraction is the most important part. The thinking behind it is that you see a girl and if she sees you as attractive, great...move on to the next step. If she doesn't see you as attractive, it's what you can do to build that chemistry.

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I myself believe what you say, that is that attraction and chemistry can be build through certain methods, however since we are both in this debate now i have told her the response u wrote here and her response was this: attraction and chemistry can not be built. period. it's either there or it isn't and there is no changing that because that is a biological reaction.

Now on my part as i mentioned above i believe its possible to do so, but that being said i lack the know how.

If you could provide me with an answer where if only just briefly if not any more u could provide me with some insight on how to build up that missing chemistry/attraction i would be very much grateful.

You won't win that argument with her because she has made a decision and it would take someone to seduce her to change her mind on it.

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Yes just a few moments ago i have realised that myself

Regardless of her I still crave the knowledge on that matter. and haven't found it yet so i will keep on searching .

In any way, thanks for the insight

You know what...I'll provide you with an example.

Let's say a girl was outside and sees a guy working on his car. He's grimy and messy...his clothes are dirty. He says something to her but because of his appearance she wants nothing to do with him. He goes in and cleans up, dresses nice, smells nice and approaches the girl a second time. This time she gives him the time of day because he is more attractive.

Now let's add a twist to the scenario. If the guy knew that if he cleaned himself up that she would see him as more attractive, did he just create that chemistry? According to her, the chemistry is or isn't there.

Girls do it to guys all of the time when it comes to makeup and getting their hair done.

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She actually said that psychological tricks wouldn't work. Which they won't.
If she's not initially into you, move on. There's no reason to spend a lot of time trying to win a girl over. There's another girl roughly as attractive, right over there, who will be more receptive. Unless you're just doing nothing but hitting on girls who are way out of your league. At which point, I'd suggest looking to social circles and girlfriends, because the guy who racks up dozens of lays per year with women 3+ points hotter than him, just doesn't exist.

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RSDTyler

Oh for God sake, you're such a little pussy... to think you went back and said "well I posted your response on a website and somebody said x"

I've said this before and I will say it again.

If you wanted to capture a deer and needed advice on how to do it. Would you ask the deer or the deer hunter?

No woman likes the "think" some guy can walk up to them on the street, woo them in the moment and have sex with them in a local bathroom. What women wants to even see that as being "possible" about themselves. Their emotions will get involved and reject that as a potential possibility. But it is possible? Absoultely.

This is part of the reason I hint to guys that - When you really wrap your head around attraction, you will come to realize that not only is attraction not fully a woman choice, but her deciding to sleep with you isn't all the way here choice either. She is simply submitting to the will of the masculine energy in front of her in the moment. Its her nature, its not really something she can "help" when its coming from a guy that understands the dynamic.

So in conclusion man. The advice you will get from a woman will be very limited. A deer wouldn't be able to wrap its head around the best way to capture it. Subconsciously it would always be trying to protect itself. Why do you think women date men that are nothing like the types of guys they claim to be into?

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

You will not win a debate talking game routines with normal friends and especially women. Just "being yourself" is the ultimate response.

However you seem really naive and going through the mental masturbation period instead of going out and approach girls whether it be routines or natural game. Whatever your preference. It's just speculation till you get in the trenches

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Yes i don't disaggre on that I'm naive and might as well be a pussy, i admitted defeat by society by entering this very forum. And I'm here to change that.

I am approaching girls as much as i can push myself to do it (saw the newbie mission)while trying to overcome my AA. I don't believe anyone here would be interested in the rest and i've received more than enough responses to know a little better now so thank you all.

Also... why are you discussing PUA with girls?

It's fight club, man. Don't tell girls about it. Pick them up with it instead.

I am going to sum this up for you.


A woman doesn't know what she really wants. Ask her what a guy should do to date her, and don't surprised to hear most of the time, dinner, movies, dates, flowers, and all these things. You follow that advice an don't be surprised when you get a kiss on the cheek and tells you that you are better off as friends. I have had this argument with a woman before and always ask them where are these men now....and she responds...they are my friends now. And I say, exactly.

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