Hi

This website is just a Pandora's box of knowledge mixed with a dash of absurdity. In a good way.

I have some questions about weak versus strong frame. I'm not exactly sure about the whole concept of frame. I guess it's the idea that I'm right, and I know it and nothing coming at me can push me of the track. Am I right?

How to demonstrate strong frame? How to handle it if you actually do or say something that she rightfully contradict without loosing the frame ? Nobody is right one hundred per cent of the time (except if you are a narcissist). Will you automatically loose the frame if you admit that you were mistaken about something? How to fix this when it happens?

What if we were going out and she clearly state that she wants to go to the Chinese restaurant (or whatever) down the road? Would I loose the frame if I complied with her not unreasonable desire?

There's nothing wrong with admitting you are wrong. Shows humility.

There is nothing wrong with complying to do what she wants a few times, as long as you don't do it all the time. If she has an idea accept it or if you don't like it speak up and work it out. I feel like you are one step away from being swept away with being too "ALPHA". It's not rocket science.

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My experience is that the interaction between a man and a woman to a very high degree is defined by how your first interactions play out. Some years ago I was pretty down over a sad story involving a girl. I moved (because of other reasons) read up on this stuff and I met a girl. I was determined not to make the same mistakes that I had previously and I gave her a hard time from the get-go. No compromises, she had to work hard for everything. Now, this went well for a while. She fell madly in love, and we moved in together, but I kind of kept my "narcissistic" personality traits. And to some extent I was known to be an a**hole, It had become a part of our interaction. In the end she dumps me for a co-worker (we worked at the same place) who is a complete AFC. A lovable chump. They buy a house and get engaged within a very short time frame. I went too far for too long. The PUA stuff becomes a problem in a serious relationship.

After this I switched workplace (was the right thing to do anyway) and I kind of start all over again. But now I'm afraid to go over to the dark side because I know it will define any relationship in a negative way. You might say that I am a bit confused. So I'm sort of this guy who play it hard, but when I start to feel the attraction and focus on relationship, I get all soft. And I as a result loose the girl. Everything sounds so easy, and the theory kind of is. But my landscape don't fit with the map, because I perceive that the landscape shifts as you go along.

The problem for me is that I want to find a middle ground. Something that works to spark the attraction and evolves into something meaningful. It's probably all in my head. I start out as a alfa (to some degree), fall madly in love, go AFC and loose everything. Is this a common problem? Do you have any advice how to handle it?