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hey mate,
from the info you are giving, i see many wrong things. The first is the info you are providing. Let me make a little analogy:
'I go to the gym 4 times in the week. I pick the first weights that I see, about 4 kg (I am european). I take those for warming up. I did about 15000 excercises, about 12000 with 4kg, about 2 000 with 7 kg and 1000 with 8kg. I got sore 2 times and only once i got a cramp, but only for one night. I still dont have muscles like Arnold Schwarzenegger.'
I am sorry mate, but your numbers say nothing except the fact that you put lots of effort into this and probably are willing to put in some more. That is something I can say for sure from the info that you gave and that is great, but we need more info.
I have more thoughts based on the info you gave us. Lets get started, this might sound hard, but please dont take it as a flame. I dont intend to insult.
First, from what I can read, what i am asking myself is: where is the spontanity? I mean, how can you walk up to a 4/10 and say: hey i think you are cute, what is your name? I mean, it must be dripping from you face that you dont really mean it when you say it, so you got something to hide. People tend to see right through that. If you do conversational warm-ups, make them count. By this i mean, make a real conversation about an interesting subject. You are going out to meet women, so in a way you are interested in them. Even though you are not interested the result with a particular girl, you might want to get to a real conversation. When I go to the gym and i fart 10 times in a row, i can call it a warm-up, but there will be only one muscly that is truly on temperature. You get the point i think.
This takes me to my following remark: you dont really show much empathy nor interest in the women you meet. I can be wrong, I deduct this from the info you gave. You never make a remark on how she seems to respond or in what state she was before you opened her. People's lives are timelines and when you start a conversation with a complete stranger, you might have picked out a bad time. As example (largely exaggerated): dont say: hey you look cute what is your name? to a girl that is crying in a corner. I trust you get the point. You also seem not too interested in the people you open, as you state, you go into small talk and if it doesnt catch on, you walk away. you can open with small talk, but you need to dig deeper to keep it going. The superficial impression you make, kills your interactions.
This leads me to my last point: From the info you give us, you come across as an egocentric pushy jerk, only thinking about your own pleasure. You said you got handjobs, did you return the favor? Are you so desperate for some action that you went for a titty fuck because she doesnt want sex? Did you ever do something back? It might be, and i can be terribly wrong here, but you dont mention anything about that. You seem obsessed by getting off. While it is a great motivator, you need to make sure that you have other things in life that make you happy as well. Something else that you find amusing, that is fun for you. Actually, you need to have a life so you can share it with people. That is something that attracts people.
So basically, yeah, approach more. But not only that. Puaninja made a good point: focus on the quality of the interaction more.
How? You cant make real progress if you stay on the safe side and only approach women you dont find attractive. Go for a larger spectrum. Start approaching women that you truly find attractive, that you truly find smoking hot, so when you say: I think you are cute/hot/sexy, you actually mean it! Practice and excercise need to be challenging, otherwise there is no progress.
Be interested in the persons you open. How was their day? did something special happen? how did they feel about that? And why did they feel like that? How would you feel about it when i would happen to you? OMG, you can relate your feelings with those of her...:O can you imagine? Now that is interesting conversation. This goes with together with the selfish impression you make. Show interest in other persons. Even more, give pleasure and you will receive pleasure! Get good in giving pleasure and the amounts you will get back will surprise you.
Also, the opening sentences is something you can work on. I really like the direct one, but direct will only do you good if you really mean it. Then it becomes a sincere compliment, which indicates that is only a compliment, no more no less. you dont want anything from her because you gave a compliment. You need to state what you want.
- "Hey, i think you are cute. Lets talk, i wanna know more about you." this is much better. Dont ask for her name, you aint gonna fuck a bunch of letters forming a name, you are going to fuck a person.
You assumptions also seem forced: I imagine you walking up to a 4 ton weighing sad looking bitch and you say to her: i bet you are fun, what is your name. Dont do assumptions. You do that when you talk to little children, not when you want to talk to complete adult strangers. Instead, state what you want:
you: hey, you seem like fun, i want to talk to you.
If you open with a question like: do you have a smoke, or i am new in time and i dont know where xyz is, or what time is it... you are setting up a dialog with a fixed amount of lines. It ends when you get what you ask for.
- you: what time is it?
- her: its half past fuck off.
- you: thanks, so what is your name?
- her: (where does this come from? hewanted time, he got it.. unless he used the time asking thing to break the ice... how transparant ... did he really not dare to ask my straight away?)
See? you dont get anywhere with this, because you actually already close the conversation at the time you ask your question. Usually, when you address a woman, she knows already you want something from her. Unless you ask for time, a lighter, a cigarette or directions, she kinda already knows that you find her attractive. So you might as well state your interest when you open her.
If you really dont have the balls to state your direct interest, you can use situational openers. Make a statement about the current situation. However, be careful, as those might go terribly wrong as well. I am about to end this post, as it goes on and on, but if you have more questions, shoot!
I hope it helped in a way. Good luck!
*edit*
Before i forget: try to remember your interactions. Give us conversations you had, so we can point you more into the right direction. This is the kind of information that is very usefull. Not the numbers, they only show me that you are motivated. Give us the context, the conversation, her reactions, both verbal and body language. As much details as you can, from as many interactions as you can.
i guess you picked up a personal debate i have with myself all the time.
I went out with 3 girls in the past year that i went out with for around 2 months and did not have sex with. in fact thsoe are the only 3 girls ive dated with the exclusion of one girl ever.
Pretty much everyone i talk to agrees, that when you get around to hangout 7 plus and sex hasnt occured. its going pretty slow.
So, my debate is. What about the way i acted made these girls go out with me for so long and not want to escalate past handjobs. and yes i did finger them, they just refused to take off panties.
I admit that I do expect sex to occur around date 5-6. and start losing interest if it hasnt. Can they tell this expectation of sex early on but genuinely like me, and jsut want to make me wait on the longer side to makes ure i like them more than sex?
or is it because im poor at sexual escalation? im pretty much the classic kiss at the end of the 2nd date guy and dont really try to invite them to my place until the 4th date
2 of the girls escalated to handjobs before i even tit grabbed. I just could never escalate beyond that. except for the tit fuck one, but that was on st patties day and i was shit faced drunk.
i am pretty much unsure tbh