Hello guys, first time in months that i've been shaken by thoughts and that i'm really starting to feel some strange things going on, i'd really like to get advice on wether these symptons might show her cheating, how to handle it in case she did etc... Here's the situation, i'll explain it as deep as possible.

So, thursday night, my girlfriend went to this party she hosted with her school, this week everything was fine between us, around 1pm i got a text with her saying, from my heart to your, i love you. So why is this relevant? because everything was perfect.

Untill she came down to my on the day after.

First things first... She doesn't text me (she always does) that she's coming over to my place.

1) I open the door, she's all nervous and energetic, no kiss, no hug, she joins me in the kitchen and sits on the tabel. (Gave me a feeling that she was cracking her head in the car on how to act around me, nervous to face me, feeling guilty...)
1a) She normally comes in slowly, saying hi with a smile, looking at me for a while, a basic hug, just very chill and warm. This time it was totally different.

2) I bring up the fact i was surprised of her being there already while she usually texts, she tells me that her phone is broken and that she threw it on the ground at the party, that she cried on the toilet all night. I ask her what happend and she brings up this conversation ''that a girl was there where she had a fight with over an ex a few months ago''. It's rather strange, the same story, happend a few months ago, what could've happend that she went uber-crying mode on the toilet? (All i could think about was her feel or remorse, regret of what she did, realising it etc...)

3) eventually we go upstairs, she is viewing her camera for the pictures of last night, she doesn't show me anything, doesn't get me involved etc... at one point, i enter the room and wanted to lie down in bed and had to pass her, instantly she puts her foot on the bed so i couldn't be in range to check her camera out.

4) She mentions a party on friday of her friend, and randomly says - Do you mind if you dont come along to this party?'' when i ask her for the reason she goes.. Well it's because of people thinking... and not finishing the story, or be very indirect with it, not giving a clear answer or anything near. (She went to the thursday party with a whole group of friends, at the party on friday, this group will be going aswell, if she cheated on me, the guy will be there and she might be afraid of me finding out)

5) She texts, but holds her phone up in a position where i cant possibly be checking her out (Which i never do) and she never does this.

6) Strange fact - she gets a message from her friend and reads it out loud, ''I have to tell you something about thursday night, you're not gonna be happy'' - the day i ask her what that was about she says ''Just her blabbering, nothing important) - She usually tells me everything that happend during her day.

All in all, I really think these signs indicate that she cheated on me, i eventually realised these strange patterns and starting questioning them myselfs, I wasn't sure if she was cheating because she's also the type of girl with low self-esteem and would do something like this to return some sort of vengeance for me having more power (I go out, so does she, ...) but because the week went very great and there was no reason for her to want power, i found it strange that she began with being nervous, not telling shit, the camera etc...

What are your thoughts?
I will confront her about this, how will i eventually get the truth out of her if she did so?
how can i justify this if she didn't cheat on me? I dont wanna make her feel like i dont trust her.

I'd like as much information as possible, i'm meeting her tommorow so i want to be prepared and get the truth out of her with as little damage done as possible if the outcome is not as i anticipated.

Thanks alot!

Try to gather all the information you can before confronting her, its easy to jump to conclusions. Something funny is going on though, and if your gut tells you that she probably cheated, you may well be right. But not 100% of the time.

I say wait a while and see if anything else surfaces.

I have all the information i can that could link to this strange behaviour, body-language, intimacy that day etc... I cant really keep myself from thinking she did it so i'd rather confront her now then waiting another week or 2
Problem is, she has the time now to find an answer to her strange behaviour, meaning she could lie to me about it without really showing, she's a very emotional girl, if she did so, i'm sure that she'll start being indirect, no eye contact etc...
What other signs could show me that she cheated? For example, when talking about her night, she was nervous despite it being absolutely great, she was like breathing out quite hard, not looking me in the eyes. If someone just had a great night, especially my girlfriend, she'd laugh, be happy about it, look me in the eyes, smile...

I would personally wait it out. At the same time you should start talking to other women to keep you from falling into disarray. Keep your composure. I fucked up when I suspected my girlfriend cheating on me by jumping to conclusions. Never really got to the truth but her friends told me that she was seen hanging out with other dudes, possibly cuddling (and we know what that leads to usually).

To say the least, I did not handle it very well and made a fool of myself and I will leave it at that.

Wait it out but don't dwell on the future or the past and live in the present. Your mind will fuck you up over this shit and you will become obsessed on what she is doing when she isn't around. Trust me. Live your life and what will be will be.

-Eminence.

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~ASmooth

One thing I've learnt about life is taking everything as it is. It's so easy to make assumptions and defensively protect yourself from getting hurt even if it means to ruin something great. You don't have any proofs, give her the benefit of doubts. She might be going through some emotional issues which might not be convenient to tell you, or she could be cheating, or something else. There is no way you'd know for sure. Don't beat yourself up, take it one day at the time. Live in the moments.

What if she cheat on you? It's her loss. That's always my mindset. I give them my trust, if they betray it, does it hurt? Yes. But it's a great thing because now I know she's not the one, now I'm one step closer to finding an amazing woman to spend my life with.

The worst thing you can do is make unreasonable assumption and ruin something great then spend the rest of your life regretting and wondering what if. Don't do that.

_________________
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Yeah, You're probably right, I still am not sure wether or not I should ask, it's indeed a real pain in the ass having thoughts about it, it's just that our relationship is so unhealthy at the moment after an amazing start.
I'm not blaming the ''maybe cheating'' for the change of hearts but it feels like she's inconsistent and unreliable. She acts very strange around me sometimes whilst other times say shit like she's 100% sure of me and her etc... She's very fragile and she doesn't open up, i think because i cant read her properly that i dont trust her anymore. Especially if she acts strange for no real reason. It's hard being the valuable person in the relationship if it's one-sided. I only want to invest in it as much as she does and i dont see myself getting more value by sticking by her standards at times.

There's two routes you definitely have to be careful if you take.

The first, is accusing her of cheating. This may give her the mentality "Well, he's so convinced Im cheating, I may as well anyways" once she finds herself in that situation. She will use it to justify the cheating.

The other thing is doing the same thing in return. Going out where opportunity lies (with other women) and being ambiguous about your activities. Again, if she finds herself in the situation she'll more than likely bring that up with the other guy and he can use that "well he's probably cheating on you anyways" again justifying it in her mind.

Like the others have said, play it cool and gather information. If you get evidence, toss her out. Think of all time you've gained by not wasting any more on this chick! But eventually, it's bothering you, and you'll have to get to the bottom of it. You've gotta respect yourself, first and foremost, and if you feel you're being disrespected then don't be afraid to walk. The AFC in all of us screams for confrontation and closure, but in the end you'll just end up looking and feeling more insecure and that she was making the right move cheating on such a chump. Keep us posted, sir.

Source: I've been a cheater, and been cheated on. It's a shitty thing, but it happens. Life goes on.

Life is tough. And it took me a while but the sooner you realize there is so much things in life you have absolutely no control over, learn to accept things the way they are and make the best out of the situation rather than being obsessed over the desirable outcomes, the better off you will be in life. There are people that spent their entire lives running around in the endless circle of obsession unable to let things go and enjoy everything around them. Such things are toxic, they'll suck the life out of you and eventually you will fall.

In this case, you can't control her personalities, loyalties, and trusts. There is no point beating yourself up because of it. However, the one thing you can control is how you react and handle it. Be mature and calmly judge the situation whether if she possesses qualities or potential that are worth for you to give her the benefit of the doubts.

_________________
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[O.o] .: Survival Guide For Online Dating
/)__) .:Tips To Significantly Improve Your Online Game
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GKS speaks the truth. A valuable lesson I didn't learn until I was 28. So much wasted energy and self-imposed misery.

+1

GKS - Love the advice, am going back to the old roots.

For years i have enjoyed life at it's fullest, getting things not many people can get, becoming a better me slowly day by day untill i hit a point where I got blasted with motivation, i really loved my life and i had nothing to stop me untill i met this girl, she really got hold of me and changed me to a sentimental piece of thrash.
the situation got cleared up but more happened after that, i decided to put an end to it and go back to being me, it'll take it's time to repair the damage done, i did emotionally invest in this girl and i still feel the burden of my investment, I'm glad i realise it's just a matter of time before the bomb goes off or shit starts to happen. I'll be sarging again next week, probably facing AA's for the first few weeks and eventually get hold of myself again. I'm glad i got to have this experience again, it's yet another improvement for me to face the many challenges in life.

Thanks for all the help, the PUA forum has really changed my life drastically.

-Mayhem

Having the courage and strength to dump her is already half the battle. If you can do that, I'm sure you can find yourself a girl worthy of your time. Good luck bro.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.