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That's because it IS like incest. I'm in a fraternity, and in my opinion a gay person should be able to join, but he has to date other men, and I would be disgusted if he were to cross that sacred line. If you don't see a sacred bond between you and this girl, and just feel like you're in some club, then you're probably not fully committed to this fraternity.
Way to dig up an old thread. I already banged the chick I was talking about. Made out and slept with other chicks in my co-ed fraternity. I understand for a single-sex fraternity, that bond is sacred but when you include opposite gender anything goes. I'm sure I wasn't the first to bang someone within my co-ed fraternity and I certainly won't be the last either.