| Shit, I'm dealing with the exact same thing... I've found out my ex was screwing around with other guys after nearly ever break-up I've gone through, one fucked up way or another. Just recently, was seeing this girl for 6 months until she left me last week for some other dude (we were FWB and never bothered to clarify we wanted to date each other; miscommunication, partly my fault).
It feels like fucking shit to know the girl you've been spending so much time with and laughing and watching movies and sleeping with is now doing that with someone else. I get it; it's like a goddamn pit in your stomach. I'm feeling all the knee-jerk reactions you are. I don't necessarily want her back but I do want to see that she still wants me, and I want that power to reject HER.
It's a natural reaction of the ego, which everyone has. Doesn't make you a narcissist. Pick up teaches us that rejection from strangers is nothing... but being rejected by someone you care about is a whole different monster. And in addition to that, finding out that she's accepting other guys is fucking Godzilla.
Speaking as someone who's had to deal with this shit 3 different times with 3 different girls, forget about it. the more you dwell on it, the more you poison yourself. Get distracted. Go out with friends, take up a class, learn a skill, whatever. And in any case, unless she actually comes crawling back to you, you won't be able to reject her anyway. Like GKS said, it really is one of those things in life you just have to let go.
Hope that helps. Sorry that you have to deal with this shit. I know how the situation feels and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (ok, I would, but whatever, it still sucks)
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D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.
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