Pickup skills decreasing - lack of motivation



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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 11:01 pm 
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Before I got to know pickup I was just like most guys my age, horrible in clubs never approaching women. I could get girls occasionally, but I wasn't happy with my life. Pickup literally changed my life and I've reached goals I could only dream of to just see it drift off again.

All I wanted was to get good with women instead of just being lucky with a friend of a friend once in a while. I've developed myself and really pushed myself which was a hard thing. Somehow I felt I needed to do this, but after about one and a half year of pickup I just get bored all the time and lack motivation to pickup girls. I get credit for things I'm not satisfied with (although I don't bring up the topic myself) and I feel I've never reached my full potential. Usually I blame the boredom on the city I live in and even though most guys tell me the same thing I do believe it's partly my own damn fault. Picking up girls in different cities just seems a lot easier, but that might be a mindset.

I live near Rotterdam and still live with my parents because it's just financially stable being a student. My usual night out is have fun with my mate(s) usually max. 3 and grab a couple numbers and k-closes, but haven't brought a girl home in a while. It's not the biggest issue as I got the number and we meet up later preferably at my place, but again motivation plays its part.

So I dusted off my forum account and am re-reading some of my books, but I'm afraid it won't cut it. Did anyone have this blocking point at some point in his pickup lifetime? It's really annoying, but I just want to get back that motivation so I can finally become the person I know is in me.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 2:24 am 
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look beyond the girls. You owe it to yourself. It sounds like you are over the whole seducing girls phase and need another goal in your life to fulfill your need to be someone you respect. Create a new purpose and get it in motion. I take it you know the value of hard work and I feel like you won't disappoint yourself. What you are feeling is probably apathy, which is normal. Just let the feeling sink in, acknowledge it and then let it go. Your feelings will be placed in check and you can think clearer on what you need to do.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:56 pm 
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Thanks Assertive this is just the kind of answer I needed. You're probably right about that, sometimes I feel like shit just looking for a goal and other times I feel unbeatable. We can't always be happy clappy, but I think this is the way to get back on track and leave those negative thinkings behind.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2012 2:58 pm 
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Alright so I have this on and off. It comes and it goes. There will be times when pickup is the thing I want to do most in my life, and other times I say fuck pickup.

However, deep down inside I know I will always be doing pickup. Always. Always. It has changed my life at a profound level, and like you I know I have not reached my potential.

Think about that potential for a moment. Know that you can reach that potential.

Now know that it's going to be fucking difficult and you will have to put in serious effort and commitment to reach it.

You are in a slump right now, and that's fine. EVERYONE has this. I used to think I was abnormal for having this slump, I thought the big PUAs just went at it and got better and better and better. But no. They do go at it all the time, but they don't progress steadily.

It seems you have hit a wall, or a plateau. How to get out of this? I am in a plateau right now, I've hit a wall. What the fuck am I doing about it? Probably the hardest thing for me yet; I'm going out alone during the day and evening on the streets to pickup. For some this is easy, for me it is FUCKING difficult, because I am so used to picking up with a wing and having a safety net to come back to. I feel like I am a newbie again, because my anxiety is amplified to the point of paralysis. BUT I push through. I fucking push through. It is so far out of my comfort zone but I still do it. And I want to get better at it. I have that motivation. I have the fear and the motivation to just fucking do it, to not listen to my fears any longer. And I know it will take a while before I get good at it solo, and yet I still do it. I literally feel like I'm on day one. But I do it.

Find this for yourself. You feel no motivation. Look outside of your comfort zone again. You have become comfortable. Which is good, you can probably get chicks when you're comfortable. But for yourself you must push yourself somehow. Look at the things you think you could never do. Then do it. Watch your motivation sky-rocket to overcome this barrier.

Take a deep think about what you truly want. You want to get fucking good with girls. At least I do. And for this I have to do some things, some of them will be painful, because they are outside my comfort zone. Sit yourself down and truly think about what lies out of your comfort zone, as this will take you to the next level if you work hard at it. If you want to reach your true full potential in this area, then you have to get crazy and go outside the things you normally do. Like I said, for me it is solo sarging. For you it may be approaching 20 girls in the day, or getting blown off regularly to just see the fun in it. Whatever. You will know what you're avoiding. So do it. Kick yourself in the ass and do it.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 2:17 pm 
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As a quick fix, if you lack motivation you can always not masturbate for a month.
Sounds funny, but trust me ... it works.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 4:09 pm 
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Thanks guys, I will have to get out of my comfort zone again, I've been getting to lazy lately!

As for the masturbation, I've done that before and yes it works. It did get me laid. I'm doing a no-wank-December now and I'll see what the end count will be on NYE

Cheers and merry x-mas

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 7:29 pm 
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path to sucess isnt stairs
path to success is crazy loopy wierd abstract mess

its alright, i went week very good then I went a week sucking with girls and being afraid, next week iv had even more sucess than ever.

just always be in a happy mood in the present moment and go do something outrages new and exciting, something youv never tried before and hope it works, its experimenting.

thats really fun :P

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