So there's a HB9 I've been seeing for quite some time, we're both into eachother, and lately she's been acting like she's my girlfriend. Expecting to meet me several times a week, calls/texts everyday, it basically feels like I'm in a relationship. It's cool because I want that.

But she never gave me the relationship talk, we never said anything about making our relationship known, exclusive, etc. The words "couple", "boy/girlfriend", "relationship" and so on were never brought up. She told a select few of our mutual friends that we're "seeing eachother" (very ambiguous in my language) but she didn't tell most of them who the guy she was seeing is.

I know "secret relationship" comes to mind but again she's putting a lot of effort into this so I doubt that's the case. I never had a girl chase me like that.

This is starting to be a problem because I'm not sure what she's expecting of me. If we're just dating then I'm putting too much effort, if we're a couple then I'm a lousy boyfriend. And honestly, I do care about the title. It's been 2 months, this should be official.

By the way that she's acting I can tell that this is something she would be interested in. But she's not saying anything and so I think it's time I say something myself.

How should I approach this? I don't want to come off as needy or anything.

buy her a "You're My Girlfriend" pendant for her to wear around her collar.

I'd basically just straight up ask her over dinner.

Just ask her, forget dinner. If she says no that could make it awkward. Just sit down and ask.

Now that I read my message I think I should have mentioned that we have sex on a regular basis.
I actually did get her a small necklace for her birthday and she wears it all the time when I'm around...
I don't know, I always thought this was the girl's job. I read that whoever cares the least controls the relationship and I think it's true. If I ask her to be my girlfriend (seems kind of like a dumb thing to as a girl in her 20's) it looks like I want this more than her.

Make her bite. Since it's unofficial, you can stilll game other chicks I believe? She might get angry and bring it up. Asking a girl to me sounds needy.

How else do you do it then? Wait for her to ask? And once you do have a GF, are you going to wait for her to propose to you as well?

I've never heard (in my recent young man years) of the girl asking the guy.

There's being needy and then there's not being a man about things.

Unless someone has a better idea...

Eh, it depends how you ask. "Will you be my girlfriend?" or "Can I say you're my girlfriend now?" does sound pretty needy, but I think it can be asked in a less presuming way. In other words, bring it up in a way that forces her to answer, but doesn't show that you necessarily want it. For example,

"so, I was mentioning you to so-and-so and I realized, I'm not really sure how to introduce you...I mean, where do you think we stand?"

I don't think that sounds needy. That's a pretty normal statement to make after seeing a girl for a couple months and having sex with her. It's kind of like "check up" time to evaluate where you stand and where you will go from here. That doesn't make it completely safe though -- because what she says will either indicate that: a) she wants to be your girlfriend, or b) if she's been having any doubts lately, she'll surely bring them up now...and she might even decide that you two aren't right for each other and should stop seeing each other.

well way I see it, you got two choices,

just come out and tell her you like her and would like it if you two were a couple, or you can just keep having sex with her, avoid changing things, and just keep going until she gets insecure about possibly not having you to herself and asks you out

to be fair, I like option #2, way easier to just forget about defineing a relationship and let the girl do that, as long as you hang out and have sex and enjoy each others company, who cares what you are labelled as, but then again, to eachs own

Sounds good to me.

Being the man and asking her to be your GF/bringing up the topic isn't needy guys. Stop thinking it is. Obviously she is attracted to you already, one thing won't change anything.

Once a girls attracted, if you become needy to her on very rare occasions, it's fine. It's when you make a habit out of it is when things go wrong.

This shit isn't that complicated. We are built to seek out women, it comes natural to us. Yes, all of us. But many guys (including myself) make it harder for themselves due to social pressures and something the environment the guy was brought up in.

This is what I've done.

Next time you're going somewhere or doing something where she will be with you and you'll be seeing friends or whatever

" When you meet so and so, would it be cool if I introduced you as my GF?"

Or " I want to introduce you as my GF. " a little more assertive and confident. Or hell, just fuking call her your GF and see how she reacts. Just say she is. She will probably just agree.

never ask a woman to be your gf directly. It's AFC/beta.

Always do it implicitly. Buy her a gift, or take her out to dinner and say "well for that meal/gift, that means we're a couple now". If she's into you, she'll say yes as the meal/gift is kind of a token.

If you think asking a girl to be your girlfriend is beta please reevaluate your life. Just ask her dude. If you want her to be your girl just ask.

This thread is old...and there are these options.

1) Ask her
2) Wait for her to bring it up.
3) Who gives a damn and live it up. All that matters is that you guys are together and enjoying yourselves. This mental masturbation isn't good for you.


I advocate option 2 for a few reasons. 1. It does not imply anything on your part. Option 1. Implies that you have some sort of responsibility towards her. In her head she will get these expectations from you. On the other hand, if you get asked, you can smoothly lay down the boundaries as you see fit.

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