My girlfriend says I act conceited.
I think my opinion matters the most, I think I'm the best, I flatter myself, I disrespect positional threats (other guys), I do what I want and I don't give a shit about other people's opinions.

Most of it isn't true, internally, because I do care what people think (not that it's a good thing) and actually I have pretty low self-esteem after breaking up with her and getting back together (she dated BUNCH of guys while broken up).

The thing is, it wouldn't bother me if it was only her, but I hear people talking and it seems like she's not the only one who thinks that way. I see how her parents and friends look at me and she tells me they tell her the same thing.
I lost many friends during the time with her (I guess I got really conceited) and they don't even pick up the phone when I call them now.
The only friends I have left are the ones who don't give a flying fuck about anything (too stupid to I guess).
I even heard this one guy saying "here's (my name), the conceited!"

What am I doing wrong..

I can't say much as I'm a total AFC and social retard who should probably be in the inner game section pleading, but I felt your well-written post deserved a response anyway, in my opinion this girl of yours sounds like a bad apple, and is one of the causes for your low self-esteem and attitude, I'd re-evaluate your relationship with her.

Also be upfront and honest with your friends about what they think of you, think of it like this, conceited or stuck up people wouldn't do this, would they? Just be nice and behave in a manner contrary to their opinions. I'm not saying let others walk all over you, but try and find a nice middle ground. You could probably look through some inner game stuff in other sections and take notes on that. Above all, seek more experienced opinions from this forum, rather than a noob like me!

If everyone you know is calling you conceited, well then maybe you are!

I have problems mixing with people sometimes because I am opinionated and strong willed, this is especially true with religious debates. When it comes up (rarely) I tend to annoy everybody because I cant believe something without evidence, which religion is seriously lacking but thats not to say im not flexible. If somebody proves me wrong, BAM I am wrong and I will accept defeat. Be humble

Speak to your girlfriend and friends and ask them whats up, why they think it and what you could do. It is very popular; almost instinctive, to think its everyone else s fault if they dont fall into your frame but maybe, just maybe you are wrong and need to re-evaluate.

Other people are very important in everyone's lives, we are very social creatures so taking steps to "appease" them isn't necessarily a bad thing even though it sounds that way. It will improve future relationships also.


Best of luck

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"Lets get out of here..."

It is good to have the not give a shit mentality but you can still have respect for others. It sounds like you just impose your frame of "I don't care what you think" to strongly onto others. People get defensive when they are around such negativity and it gets annoying when someone does it too much. I call it negativity because in your mind it is great to not care about others but the way you present that is by destroying everyone's reality.

At some point you have to swallow your pride and let others take the spotlight for awhile. Let your success do the talking instead of your mouth.

Start caring about yourself and others because your insecurities(you mentioned low-self esteem) are leaking into your interactions. Work on yourself internally and fight your demons so you can live a happy and healthy life. Caring about others is the first step in combating your problem.

For example, I have met conceited guys and they only associate themselves or tolerate other conceited jackasses. My school especially has some division I athletes in one group and even though they suck as a sports team(all of them), they believe that everyone should bow down and kiss their ass.

One of these guys started amoging me because he felt threatened by my care free presence and my social dominance and decided to "show me up". I obliterated him from my reality for awhile and he knew he fucked up and I did too because I got caught up in the competition for "alphaness". Mind you this was back a year ago when I was struggling with self-esteem and life issues. Next time I saw him at the gym earlier this year, I manned up and talked to him, but in a way that communicated that I respected him but I won't tolerate his shit. He flipped over a new leaf and gave me a pound and we are cool now. And it wasn't just any pound. He swallowed his pride, came up to me while I was curling dumbbells and went out of his way to say goodbye before he left the gym. I was dumbfounded because this guy is the most arrogant person I have ever met and for him to do that was mind blowing and got him back on my good side.

So point is, you have a chance to change for the better and present yourself in a new light to the people you drive away. It is up to you and it is good that you are aware of your problem. You can still be conceited but in a funny way. Cocky funny the PUA community calls it. It is borderline arrogance you want.

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In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

I'm very very often told that I'm cocky, by guys but mostly girls. It's just how you carry yourself and cues you give off. I was told that it can be seen right away: the way I walk, my posture, the way I talk, the way I dress, always having a good haircut. I could go out of my way and control those things, but I don't feel comfortable being different- it just feels like I'm downgrading myself. Either way, adapt the cocky/funny mentality. I often bring up the fact that I'm the shit, but I put a sardonic tone to it so people think I'm kidding. Of course I'm the shit- I know this, and other people better know it too. If anyone ever calls me on it, which actually happens pretty often, I typically say "it's not cockiness if it's the truth" and give it a laugh. Just do everything with a smile on your face and know you're the best motherfucker out there. Don't explicitly say it, but just know.

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A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness.

18 Body Language Mistakes I Bet You're Making

Actually when you think about it, she did say she was very attracted to these qualities-
The way I walk, the way I talk, how I behave myself around people etc etc.

The thing is, I believe it comes from a place of seeking approval. But how does one stop with the approval seeking? Any exercises?

I guess I said this to you in another post, only you know whats in your head and either u have low self steam or not. Now one more time go watch this 100 times. Understand it, live it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... HrCFXGlGYU

Good luck

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Nathan Griffin

I have no problem approaching women, I actually feel very relaxed and confident, but I only behave this way in relation to HER.

From one 'conceited' person to another...

"I am not not conceited, if I was I wouldn't be perfect and you wouldn't be dating me. "

Then tell her to make you a sandwich.

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Become your own man, stop waiting for the sky to shit out gold.