| The subject of paying for dates came up for me the previous week. In the past I had always thought it to be the gentlemanly thing to do to pay for at least the first date or two. However, for the first time in a while I had decided that my next date I would suggest we split the bill.
Last week I put this to the test. My date was a woman in her mid-30s I had met on POF. Now bear in mind this was somebody I had never met before, but nonetheless, I was staying firm to my plan (of not paying for her). Upon meeting the girl I realized I wasn't particularly attracted to her (just one of those not-my-type situations). We drove to this restaurant and the conversation went exceedingly well, never a dull moment. I had in fact noticed that I became increasingly attracted to her throughout the meet/'date'. We were there for several hours, at which point the rstaurant was winding down and the employees getting ready to close. The bill was left on the table and I had asked her if she didn't mind that we split the bill, to which she replied "Sure, ummm yes no problem!".
After that moment of awkwardness we had left the establishment, when the waiter had knocked on the passenger window informing my 'date' that she was $10 short on the bill (lol), to which she apologized for and gave him the difference.
Long story short as I was driving her home she was for the most part silent. When we'd arrived outside of her building I had motioned to get out my side of the car to open the door for her, she didn't wait and was about to head straight for the door if it weren't for me stopping her to give her a hug. She said "talk to you later?" to which I replied "Of course". I didn't hear from her since, though I think the onus is on me, the man, to make post-date contact.
At any rate, I gather it was my not footing the bill that offset her. Throughout the date she was very lively, and would often drop hints at future hang-outs. I'm not overly concerned that I didn't pay because frankly I don't think there's enough of a physical attraction for me to want to continue (I have enough friends really), and quite honestly if she's that petty to not want to see me after having gone dutch on a first date, that's her bad, not mine.
At the end of it all, I had asked 3 of my close female friends about paying for dates, here are their takes:
Girl 1 (mid 30s): "Shame on you, you don't deserve a 2nd date. It's the chivalrous thing to do to pay for her meal on the first date" Ouch!
Girl 2 (25): "She shouldn't have expected you to pay...I like paying for myself the first few dates, that way I don't feel I OWE the guy anything!...However, if I am attracted to him and he pays, I find it sweet"
Girl 3 (27): "By not paying for her, you are signaling that you aren't attracted to her. She must have been very hurt you not paying for the bill as it suggests a lack of interest...also, she's 35 and therefore likely more traditional."
So, there you have it 3 different perspectives, 3 different girls.
Will I offer to pay for the next girl that comes around? Yes. But, I will likely make the first meeting somewhere cheaper such as take her for ice cream and a walk, or coffee, or even just a few drinks. I wouldn't take the first date to a restaurant again, particularly also because its very difficult to kino unless you're in a booth sitting alongside each other.
Last edited by HeavyRota8tion on Mon Oct 15, 2012 5:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
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CHAT
. And when you pick them up, give them flowers too. Bitches love flowers.
