how do you guys handle flakes? for example, you sent her something like "blah blah blah it'd be cool if you can come" (basically because she showed interests) and got ignored. do you ever re-initiate again?

when i face such flakes, i see it as a dead-end and could never see myself messaging her again. it's intolerable and i won't give her a chance to do that again. is this an ego problem? will it affect my game?

sometimes flakes can just be legitimate reasons she can't hang out with you, but if you are getting flaked, chances are you didn't make a good enough first impression, she is either lacking in interest, or lacking in a connection towards you

a girl will prioritize you low, if she doesn't value you, and a girl is also likely not meet when she doesn't feel comfortable with it, as in she doesn't really know you well enough, even if she does value you and thinks you're hot shit

so the #1 way to mitigate flakes, is don't suck shit in the first place, be amazing hot shit so that she actually wants to see you and knows you

now, here are some other ways to mitigate flakes, besides having a good connection, and bringing enough value

-qualify her on not flaking, and after the 1st flake, set a qualifier that you don't like that behavior
example:
''ok, no problem, you don't usually cancel plans though do you?, I really hate it when people make plans with me then blow me off when I could have just made plans with someone else who isn't like that''

if it's a post flake qualifier, the next time you call her up, qualify her that she is sure she can meet you, and when she flakes you, call her out on it
''wtf, you said you were sure you'd be able to make it and that, you're not one of those girls who cancels plans, wtf is this shit?, just delete my number, I hate this shit with a fucking passion''

play up the melo-dramatical experience for her, break rapport and hold up to your standards, let her work really hard for it after that if she wants it, and flake her a few times and meet other girls, so she knows what it feels like to not be the center of your attention

-don't ''text game her'', call don't text, and don't have aimless text convos, and keep phone contact to a minimum, unless you have absolutely little to no rapport, if she is initiating text with you, that's fine, use it as a medium, but keep the rapport to a minimum, cut the text convos short and to the point

-be persistant and cutting through bullshit, when a girl makes excuses but acts like she wants to come, you cut through that shit like a knife, keep making her excuses invalid until she has to say yes or no, don't accept shit like ''I'd love to but I have school tommorow, and it's noon'', dis-qualify these dumb excuses and re-frame come up with a way to get around her problem, as if her problem is no big deal and she should still meet you anyways, for problems that stump you that you can't get around question her on her excuses until she slips up and you notice an incongruence, then you can call her out, or find some way to dis-qualfy her excuse once again, keep going until she just finally just says ''no'' or ''yes'', don't except shitty excuses

-if a girl is flaking you in a pattern, mirror her, you see two flakes in a row, stop investing in her, if she doesn't invest back, she is likely low interest, if she does keep investing, then keep your convos short, give her some freeze, invite her out, then cancel on your own plans, or let her invite you out, then cancel on your plans, make it known that covertly that something better came up and she is not your priority, let her know how it feels so she craves your attention (this also relates to the point on qualifying and playing the flake game)

thanks pumpington but i may have misinterpreted flake. i mean when you ask a girl out and she goes cold(not giving a reply).. do you re-initiate? or call her out on it?

Flakes are one of my sticking points, so I have great interest in this thread.

if you want to keep trying, you can, just wait a few days, then text her ''hi''
when she answers via text, call her when you know her phone is in her hands, but how much effort you want to put into a lead that doesn't look to promising is really up to you

heres a simple way to deal with a flake, call them out on it.

if she says for example'i cant i got to visit family',

say 'is it you really you gotta with family or is it you dont wanna meet up?'

most likely she will tell you the truth as youve put her on the spot, if she hesitates it means shes trying to think up a lie usually she'll either stay quiet or do the 'but,but' as shes searching for answer,

Or you can do some preloading

you can say 'you seem like an honest girl are you going to see family or do you not want to see me?'

you see now you subconsciously given her a suggestion to tell the truth its gonna be almost impossible for her to lie, because now she has to shatter your belief in her as being honest and most likely upset her if she has to lie so she'll tell you the truth

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

'is it you really you gotta with family or is it you dont wanna meet up?'

Wouldn't you be DLV'ing yourself by saying that?
It will make her feel like she's the last girl on the planet and he has nothing else to do if not this.

Just thinking out loud.

no its designed to put someone on the spot, when you put someone on the spot you are most likely to get the truth out of them, so if she flakes put her on the spot, she will either admit it was a lie or she will tell you its the truth.

if its a lie you say bye bye, why would you wanna hang around her shes keeping you dangling, if she actually is telling the truth and actually has a family emergency or whatever reason then you reschedule, if she does it again then the first time probably wasnt true so again you say bye bye.

the point is your actually standing up for yourself and not taking her bullshit.

when she flakes the first time whats stopping you going out and hitting on someone else? being honest she probably flaking because she thinks shes got a better option, so how do you know she aint sucking someone elses schlong?

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

I'm not the big fan of that. Like 60s said, the problems isn't a problem unless you materialize them and put them into words. With this, woman's mind subconsciously admit the problem and her logic part takes over instead of going with her emotion like every other woman does.

For example: Let's say she isn't interested enough to meet up with you because she feels like she barely knows you at all, that's how she feel. If she doesn't want to, you can just simply say okay next time then, or treat it as a shit test and doesn't say anything back or make a joke of out her excuse. But once you call her out and mention the fact she doesn't want to meet you, her brain starts to admit that fact, it's not an emotion anymore, it has become a fact where her logic comes in and provides all the reasons to not to meet up.

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this is just my way of dealing with it theres probably a million ways to deal with any given situation, this ones mine

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

What about flaking after sex guys?I fucked a HB on a roof in 40 minutes and then we slept together. Thought i made it clear i hate flaking she cancelled 6 times on me at the last minute!!In 20 days I've seen her only twice.How do you handle this?

Have you considered that she wanted that to be an one night stand? Women do that too, it's not exclusive to men only. I'd stop giving her my attention and send her some mass text once in while (aka once every 2-4 months or on holiday) Really! Why did you bother to try 6 times? I would have dropped her by the 3rd time.

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GKS please read my topic on sticking points "flaking after sex" and u'll understand that she gives me reasons to do this. She's either an attention junkey or really stressed and can't see me for weird inner reasons

Bingo! Im with GKS. I would have tried maybe 2-3 times. By that time I would basically say Im at my place and make no effort at all. She can show up or not, I dont care. Youre letting her toy with you.

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My personal mantra:

"Every woman's a whore in the right situation"
"They're all selling it for something"
"She's sluttier than you think she is"

I read it and my answer is still the same. You read a woman based on her action, not her sweet and nice choices of words. Her action is quite simple - she fucked you that time because she was horny and lonely after breaking up with her boyfriend. Then she didn't want to do it a second time with you and used 6 consecutive excuses to flake on you hoping you would get the hint, she saw no potential or value of a boyfriend or something serious in you, nor she felt the desire to sleep with you again. If a woman is interested, she does everything to get together with you. I had a HB8 kept rescheduling with me after I flaked on her 4 times and she even agreed to come to my office during lunch break for a quickies. In your case, this girl has very low interest in you so stop dwelling on something that isn't meant to be and move on.

If she has a change of mind later on down the road and want you, I still advise to reject it and save yourself some time and energy. She seems to be unsuitable for a proper relationship to me.

_________________
,___,
[O.o] .: Survival Guide For Online Dating
/)__) .:Tips To Significantly Improve Your Online Game
-"--"-