Friend zone or not really? need some clarity and next steps



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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 1:40 pm 
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cliffnote version kind of...

- Reconnected with HB9 after 2 years bc her best friend started dating my friend.
o Went on a few unofficial double dates and group outings
o I’m flirtatious around her and have natural funny game
o Started texting her a little bit, she plays the text game well – unresponsive, random replies. She knows she’s an HB9 and guys are after her. I would always be the one with the first move.
- So then I actually started to become close with the HB9’s best friend
o Told me straight up that she doesn’t ‘see me’ that way  friend zone. I’m confused because we click when we’re together, there’s kino, and I’m always making her laugh.
- From there, I straight up just asked her to go out to dinner with me.
o She didn’t respond, then I playfully called her out for not responding and then she said yes and we went to dinner.
 Dinner was great, flirtatious, laughing, we were even feeding eachother.
- Since I knew I was in the friend zone and noticed I was being too available(and she didn’t know that her friend told me), I decided to completely cut her off for a little bit
o She came down with her friend and we hung out
o She starts texting me, fb chatting me, instant responses
o I didn’t let it get to my head, so I was still somewhat distant
- Me, hb9, hb9’s best friend, and two other friends hung out the other day
o I notice a lot more eye contact, kino, she would leave the crowd to follow me and talk to me when I was at the bar trying to get a drink, etc.
- At this point, I THOUGHT the power had shifted to me until HB9’s friend told me some inside info.
o HB9 brought me up to her, “so has (me) said anything? Is he still interested?”. She told HB9 that I’m not interested in her anymore and just wants to be friends
 HB9 agreed that she wants to be friends with me and mentioned to her that she loves hanging out with me and wants to be really good friends. Says also that during out little date, she had a great time, but she didn’t feel that kind of nervousness on a first date that you would normally have.
- I’m confused as to where I stand with this girl. I am still flirting with other girls and dating, but I’d like to lock it down with HB9 if possible.
o Knowing this information, I’m still going to be unresponsive, busy, and not contacting her and see how that goes, but im just unsure what angle to take now or if she’s just fronting bc I said I’m not interested in her anymore.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:53 pm 
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Doing good man. Just remember to follow her body language, not her mouth. Her body will tell the truth, (if she wants you more, your kino is working, or when to escalate.) Ignore her when she says she's ok with being just friends. What is her body saying? Answer that and act accordingly.
Good luck


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:21 pm 
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Sounds similar to a situation I was in recently, but you're situation is very high school to be honest and I don't know how old you are; but it's all "who likes who." It's good to have inside info but don't rely on it.

It sounds like it's doing your head in, so in my opinion you just need to make a bold move, and that can only be through a kiss at this stage, but that has to be progressive and naturally the next step, so you have to escalate to it not just do it. It would be best if you could get her out alone, or in a group, (not just you 3 hanging out) then isolate her.

Basically this will either get you half in the door, then you build it up to sleeping with her or the second option is you will be rejected, but that's ok, because there's someone else better you're going meet in the same week that won't play you like a fool.

I personally found out the hard way, and got rejected, but this was the first kind of girl I'd met that would let you escalate all the way to the point of the kiss, and not follow through. But I moved on quick, and I'm still in contact with the friend, and we're actually good friends, and when I bump into the one I tried to game I'm just polite but distant, I don't invest in her unless she invests in me first.

I would say at this point you have 2 options
1. Caveman it and get the girl or risk losing both friendships.
2. friendzone her, and use her as a wing/pivot to introduce you to her hot friends.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:23 pm 
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thanks for the supportive comment and insight. you are right, i should pay attention to her body language rather than her mouth and i seemed to have forgotten that lately and have been discouraged by her mouth. guess i'll just keep at it with what i'm doing.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:25 pm 
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Quote:
Sounds similar to a situation I was in recently, but you're situation is very high school to be honest and I don't know how old you are; but it's all "who likes who." It's good to have inside info but don't rely on it.

It sounds like it's doing your head in, so in my opinion you just need to make a bold move, and that can only be through a kiss at this stage, but that has to be progressive and naturally the next step, so you have to escalate to it not just do it. It would be best if you could get her out alone, or in a group, (not just you 3 hanging out) then isolate her.

Basically this will either get you half in the door, then you build it up to sleeping with her or the second option is you will be rejected, but that's ok, because there's someone else better you're going meet in the same week that won't play you like a fool.

I personally found out the hard way, and got rejected, but this was the first kind of girl I'd met that would let you escalate all the way to the point of the kiss, and not follow through. But I moved on quick, and I'm still in contact with the friend, and we're actually good friends, and when I bump into the one I tried to game I'm just polite but distant, I don't invest in her unless she invests in me first.

I would say at this point you have 2 options
1. Caveman it and get the girl or risk losing both friendships.
2. friendzone her, and use her as a wing/pivot to introduce you to her hot friends.
i'm 21. only reason i trust her friend's judgment is because she wants us to date. i think i can isolate her 1 on 1 again pretty easily if i asked for it.

regarding the wingman...she is the hottest of all her friends lol.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:59 pm 
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Quote:
i'm 21. only reason i trust her friend's judgment is because she wants us to date. i think i can isolate her 1 on 1 again pretty easily if i asked for it.

regarding the wingman...she is the hottest of all her friends lol.
Sorry I didn't mean ignore it, I meant let it assist you. Also it's good you have won her friend over and she's backing you, that's good game!

I would say at this point as you've hung out a lot there's already a lot of comfort and now you just need to escalate things sexually, this is where I failed last time and now understand the importance of it. I think warped mindless guide will help you in this instance esp-model-of-escalation-vt97891.html don't be too scripted with it, understand the foundations and fundamentals, then see how you can incorporate it into your personality and game.

Don't rely on what I'm saying as I'm no mPUA, but I'm just trying to help you out from my own short comings.

But seriously you have to be willing to lose her, otherwise you're going to be caught in your head all night thinking, how the move you're thinking of making will make it weird the next time you see her. That doesn't matter just take the risk and learn from it.

I hope it works out for you.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 5:57 pm 
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yea, thanks for the tip. i caught myself putting her on the pedestal, which is why i had to reevaluate everything and cut her off and date more people. i'm thinking once she realized this and was unsure if i was still interested, she started to get more curious.


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