went out tonight with my friend who I wouldnt regard as good with women. We met a girl he's fucking and her friend at a bar. I noticed that the girl he's fucking was extremely hot I couldnt believe he pulled her! Her friend was no fun and went home early because she had work in the morning. The girl my friend is fucking dropped me at my house and my friend went home with her...yeah im jealous I really am. Feeling terrible now I want the pua lifestyle so bad. But the personality change scares me. I really need a platform to get started! Please help!

How is your whole lifestyle mate?

You like your clothes? You like your body? You like your lifestyle in general? Lets start changing staff you don't like so you feel better and take it from there on.

Just my 2 cents...

clothes/body etc not a problem. It's my lack of 'drive' infield. Never good at small talk. Stay in alot. Keep to myself...don't let people in....keep alot of secret. Im not my true self. Can't decide what kind of man I want to be. Im 21.

I had the same problem, even have it to some extend. What you need to do is start doing small changes. Like going to a grossery store and saying something to the cashier. It might be something about his cash machine or the hours he/she works....whatever as long as it is small talk. Do this with a nice smile...at first you might feel silly but later on you will get used to it and it will come natural. Now if that feels natural, talking to women and making small talk will be much easir.

Start small my friend but do start soon...

appreciate it.

People in your situation are the hardest to give advice to, believe me I know because I've been there. Everything feels like it comes with a "but what about..." or "yeah but"

You have to stop where you are right now and accept that you aren't happy with it. There is only two options, ignore that fact and keep doing what you are doing with likely the same result, or make changes and let life show you things you didn't know.

Having come from that type of low more than once in my life the best advice I can give is to really give some real though to the following 4 things:

1. you need a hobby. Not just any hobby, something you absolutely love. It will give you something to focus your frustrations into and have positive rewards. It will give you something to talk about, and potentially something you can make new friends over (friends that often know girls you'd like to date). Don't pick any old thing and don't pick it based on where girls would be. Search your hear/mind and pick something you absolutely fucking love and will be passionate about. I don't care if its weaving baskets. I know a guy who runs a flower shop and everyone would swear he is gay. He fucking loves flowers, like truly. He also bangs a different HB9-10 every fucking week, he is a machine and a downright inspiring person. Find something you LOVE and start doing it.

2. Exercise/work out. Besides the 10 million reasons why its good for you, specifically it boosts endorphines and seratonin which will just simple make you feel better than you do right now. It also has the nice side affect of makeing your body better and with that your confidence. It also gives you a reason to leave the house and at a gym there are LOTS of hot girls usually. It also makes you seem independant and social - these are end goals you are working towards.

3. Learn about nutrition and how to cook. This is part of #2, but your health is 70% what you eat. The small intestines produce 70-80% of your immune system and a great deal of seratonin also. Eating home cooked healthy foods will not only make you "appear" healthier, you will BE healthier. Healthy = attractive and a nice side affect here is EVERY girl loves a guy who can cook a decent meal for them. It also gives you great conversation for the many gorgeous women out there who care greatly about health and nutrition.

4. Make GUY friends. Not only will this give you reasons to get out of your house and be around people that like you for who you are, you will have fun hanging out with them and not be as worried. They will also help you find girls as they all know girls who all know other girls. Don't be schmoozy deuche bag and only make half friends with guys you think can get you ahead in life, thats dumb. But don't waste your time with loosers or guys that are just as depressed as you are. Find people you like that are more together than you and learn from them in a mutual give and take friendship. Girls do not want a guy who cannot get along with her friends or who is anti-social.

Those are your foundational building blocks. Once you have them in place you can start pushing yourself out into the PUA world with enough confidence in yourself to "fake it till you make it". Consider them training wheels.

And if you read this and say "well i already DO all that" NO YOU DON'T. at least not enough. If you did you wouldn't be posting this. Remember, you can either leave things alone and nothing will change, or you can MAKE CHANGES and things will happen naturally.

Good luck.

_________________
"Would it be wrong to join sexaholics anonymous to pick-up chicks?" "...yes, and stop eating that baby."

-Psych3r-

That's good advice thanks! Striving for self improvement now. I want to be a no apologies kind of guy. Never really opened up to people during my teens, I was so reserved...Im the kind of guy who has had the same few friends since I was 10.

Also one after thought. The whole "secrets" thing... just drop that.

I used to be secretive, but then I learned the hard way people thought I was "sketchy" (teens/early twenties). And looking back I prob was, but it was just insecurity.

Wear your heart on your sleave. Some people will try to take advantage of you, but most will just respect you more. I've reached a pointin my life where I see no reason to ever be dishonest or secretive. It just takes effort and always ends up having negative results.

Don't be embarased about dumb shit. Girls have seen it all. And if they judge you for it, they are bitches and not worth your time.

_________________
"Would it be wrong to join sexaholics anonymous to pick-up chicks?" "...yes, and stop eating that baby."

-Psych3r-

Thanks man.

man, you shouldn't look at the success of others. What matters is your success. Why? Because it's all about you. You gotta love yourself, you gotta love what you look like, you gotta love the things you do. After all, you can't change your looks and where you are from, who your parents are. But you can change the way you act.

Inner game is of great importance. Work on that, and then it doesn't matter to you who your friend fucks, because in yourself you KNOW and you BELIEVE that you can do better.

Everytime someone tells me: you dress gay, you won't get a GF because you're ugly, you act weird around girls; i'm like: i don't give a crap. If you tell good things to yourself EVERY day, you will actually believe them. Worked for me.

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The Learning Journal:
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You're 21.. The most interesting people I've ever known didn't know what they wanted to do or what kind of person they were at 21. It takes a while to figure that shit out.

The above advice is good. Start making changes in your lifestyle. Change is the only universal constant. Don't fear it. It happens whether you like it or not.

My 2 cents - Put yourself in more social situations. Be more confident. I know it's easier said than done, but really.. What do you have to lose?

Who cares if you say something stupid? It's not the end of the world.

Who cares if you get embarrassed? What... nobody else has ever been embarrassed before?

Shit happens. Dust yourself off and get back to it. This is the one quality that I learned at a very young age that has made me excel in just about anything I put my mind to: Everything is a learning experience. EVERYTHING. The more you do something, the better you get at it. Some people take less practice than others.. Some people have higher potential than others.. This is what makes us unique. Regardless, if you truly love something you will dedicate time to it.. If you dedicate time to it, you will be good at it eventually.

When someone criticizes me, I do not let it bruise my ego.. I just take it as a form of advice and try to work on that quality if I feel it needs to be worked on.

Look at it this way.. There are approximately 3.5 billion women on this planet. In my city, there are approximately 1.2 million. If I make a complete ass out of myself with 100 chicks, there are hundreds of others out there which are potential dates.

For every girl you lose, another one is a potential target, don't forget that . It's like Etherimp says, 3.5 billion. Before you have met them all, already millions have born again. It never ends for you.

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The Learning Journal:
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I found you don´t neceserialy need to change your lifestyle in order to get better with the ladies. I read the mystery method and implemented most "rules" and a few patterns into my personality. shure this way it takes time but you can stay yourself. otherwise it will be a bad walkup if you hook a girl as pua and turn into the old abc afterwards