| this is one of those interesting pardigms that seems counter intuative,
you have to start being more concerned about what you want, rather then what the girls want, if you are certain enough about it, you can weed girls out who are not interested in the same thing, and the girls that are on the fence are more likely to polarize to you for your approval, it is the difference between trying to get a girl and win her, and letting a girl get you
instead of escalating with a girl and investing yourself into her before you have fully screened her, screen her first harder, then invest, at that point give it all you got, it is always easier to just meet new girls and screen them, then it is to invest alot of your time, energy and emotions into one girl without screening her very hard, only to find out she didn't screen well, and a good part of screening is recognizing patterns of behavior, history does not always repeat it's self, but it tends to do so, the more experience you have dealing with girls, the more you will have an idea of what you wish to screen for in a girl, when you start to see these patterns you can realize this logically in your head, and even if you have invested a great amount of time/energy/emotion in the girl, you can still enact discipline to cut yourself off
if you were less invested in this girl, then you would have much less of a focus on getting her, and this would not be important to you, because you would feel less of a need to get her, less attached to an outcome
when you really are less invested the thought of cutting a girl loose who isn't screening well is much easier to emotionally progress through, instead of you fearing a loss, it is more likely she will fear losing her investment, rather then the other way around
there is an old saying that goes, the person who cares the least in a relationship, has the most power, this is mostly true, but really if your relationship is based on power games then there is no room for growth, only further manipulation and games
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