What the f*** do I do?!



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 Post subject: What the f*** do I do?!
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 6:38 pm 
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I don't even know how to explain this or where to begin... I've meet this girl online, we chated for a while, and we had a date yesterday. Problem is, she presents herself as a boring girl. On the other hand she did say I made a good impression(no clue if this is true or not) but she keeps coming up with reasons why we wouldn't work togheter. That we are oposites, or I am to independent, or that we don't have things in common or that she has low selfesteem and fear of rejection and me ending up beeing dissapointed in her. But I think most of that is bullshit, and I keep finding myself trying to talk her into it. But how long do I keep this up?! On the other hand she seems to be opening abit more to me, answering more of my questions and letting me find out more things about her(or maybe it's just my imagination). Should I keep trying to get in there and fight through all these mixed signals, is she just over testing me, or should I just say the fuck with it already?!
Our last conversation lines online(and the ones I am stuck at SPAM) were:
Me: Btw, you made me curious, what are some of those "beliefs that cannot be changed and that have no tangency with me"(she said this in an earlier msg) that you think you saw in me?
Her: I think it would be easier to tell you one that does have tangency with me, :hmm: take a guess, I can't think of anything.

Please, I am at the end of my powers!! I like this girl, and think she would be really good for me for quite a few reasons, but wtf do I do?! Thank you.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 6:47 pm 
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You're freaking out for no reason. This is basic shit testing, either her interest level is low or she's throwing hurdles at you to see if you can pass them.

You're already failing by letting them phase you. Always adopt an attitude of AMUSED MASTERY. Never let a girls shit shake your frame, you have to maintain an attitude that shows that you've seen it all and heard it all. You're falling for her trap and putting her on a pedestal by placing yourself in the position of "guy who needs to overcome obstacles to get girl." She needs to feel challenged in getting you, you're making her feel the opposite.

You should continue talking to her as if nothing phases you, and then occasionally break rapport to build attraction. Jealousy (be seen with other girls), or push/pull (spontaneously go no contact) will work well.

She HAS to know that you aren't desperate, and that you can walk away and find another girl if you want to.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 6:52 pm 
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agree with whatever she says
she says,"we don't have anything in common"
you reply,"yeah ! True"
and go silent. Let the pressure build on her. Let her think what to say next.
She says," you are too independent"
you reply,"yeah may be"
just do it. It will get you out of entire bullshit. Agree and leave that topic. Agree and leave that topic. Do it with every objection she brings up, agree and dont show any emotions. Just stay cool, calm and relaxed and agree with her.
Give it a try and let me know how it goesee and leave that topic. Do it with every objection she brings up, agree and dont show any emotions. Just stay cool, calm and relaxed and agree with her.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 6:53 pm 
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Yeah, well the problem is that SPAM I AM desperate. I am just a begginer with all this and really don't have any choices SPAM. Problem is if I act like you said she won't give a crap about me and will just move on to the next guy....
But whatever, I'll try it your way this is lost anyhow.
Is it ok if i write this back to the last thing she said: "Hahaha, typical, your are really funny somethimes, you know? :wink: "


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 7:01 pm 
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did you hear what i said? Do that. And if you are exchanging text with her, stop that right now. Don't say her anything. Just stop texting alltogether without giving her a reason, without telling her. It would create space for her to crawl back in. No matter if she asks you why u nt replying or any other blah blah. Just don't reply before tomorrow. And tomorrow you can make any excuse

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 7:12 pm 
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Ok, I won't reply untill tomorrow, but when I do what should I say to her last response?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:07 am 
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chances are that she would text you 1st tomorrow. If not, just throw something like, "sorry, yesterday i was busy doing blah blah blah so couldnt reply"

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:49 pm 
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Ok, so I texted her this morning with what you said, I agreed with her:
Me: Haha, you are right, we wouldn't work togheter at all. We would just fight all the time, and I'd always win. :wink:
Her: Why are you so sure?

Now, what do I reply to that? Remember please, I am actually trying to get this girl, not extinguish all hope. Please help me reply.

P.S. I am thinking of trying to find some "friends" and have a movie night at my house and invite her. And I was thinking of "hiring"(or maybe just begging) some other girl to come and act like she is with me so I can make this one jealous. Would that be a good strategy?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 4:23 pm 
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as for as agreeing part is concerned, you have to calibrate
1. If she is being bitchy, then you just agree and don't make it fun or give funny responces (never entertain a bitch)
2. If she is being playful then you can make your resposes funny like you said, "we would keep fighting and i will always win.
Now how do you reply to her clever texts?
1. If you can think of a good comeback, great, go with that.
2. And if you can't think of any good comeback then become a philospher :D. I mean it. Become a philosher, like you could reply her after she asked why are you sure? You could say,"to be sure, is the first step toward success" it's fun too.
Now about using another girl to make her jealous?
Yeah you can do that. You don't need to beg them, you just need to ask their help honestly. Women love to help.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 4:50 pm 
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Ok, here is what I said, tell me what you think please.
"Certain? I don't know. What exactly is certain in this life, how do you define certainty, and what makes a truth absolute?
Btw, I started talking with people about that movie night. When would it be best for you in the next couple of days? I'll try and see if I can make all of you happy. :laugh: "


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:31 pm 
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the text is ok but remove, "i will try to make you all happy"
its usually no big deal to say one or two senteces like that but that girl already has kinda beta image of you, so using that kind of senteces only makes that image stronger. You gotto go against that image, atleast stop supporting that image by your words and actions

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:58 pm 
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Yeah, never mind, it's over. I got fed up with all the shit-tests and her attitude and said something... and I pretty much think we are done. :cry: I don't even think I am gonna reply to her last message, should I? Thanks for trying to help me, and I'll keep trying to "play the game", but I think I'm just a lost cause. :( I'll translate and put the rest of our conversation below if anyone thinks it might help them to learn from my mystakes.

So after the I'll try to make you all happy:
Her: well if it's a horror, drama or too mushy I'll say "pass" right from the start... plus I don't know your friends and I don't know if I would have any place in your group.
Me: First of all it's not gonna be a horror or drama, it's gonna be something everyone will like, most likely a comedy. Second of all it will be a small group of decent people.
Her: I didn't say they weren't decent just that I would feel like an extra.(I think the english expression is "fifth wheel"?)
Me: Whatever, so want to watch a movie? Or would you rather sit home by yourself?
Her: I'm sitting with the girls, not alone...(she lives in a dorm)
Me: I think it would have been better if I didn't invite you, one less person I would have to worry about. :) Look, I told you how it is we are sociable people and you will feel good in our company, not extra. Besides haven't you learnt by now that I am good at everything?! I am an excelent host! :laugh:
You can think about it more, I don't need an answer right this second, but don't take forever, if we set a date and hour we are not gonna change it for you if you make up your mind too late.
Her: I don't have a habbit of getting in peoples way.
Me: Thats a good quality to have. But you do realize everthing is subjective, right? Someday, somewhere, somehow, you got in somebody's way. :D
Her: you're probably reffering to yourself... you insisted we talked; I was imagining what it would be like
if you think I made you waste your time, I am sorry, I didn't have that intention
Me: Hahaha, you're really something now. How you got that from what I said I'll never figure out.
But if after our entire interaction thats how you really feel about me... lets just forget about it.
Her: thats what you lead me to understand... since saturday(thats when we had our date) you've been a little "stinging" this is the best word I can think of right now


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 10:05 pm 
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LE: Got drunk, I just can't keep crying myself to sleep anymore, need a break for tonight. And since I ccan't help it I sent her another message. I said "I think I know exactly what you mean. Want to hear the good news though?"
When she says "what?" tomorrow I'm planing on saying something in the lines of "I don't have a habbit of getting in peoples way/annoying people eighter. So I'm just gonna say a simple Goodbye. No matter what you actually think of me it was a pleasure to meet you, I hope you have a happy life."
On the other hand if you guys think this could still be saved(hahaha, but like I said, I would really want to be with this girl, and not just because I am desperate, I really think she would be perfect for me for several reasons) I could say something like "Sorry, i texted the wrong person. My former loser freind that I dumped recently(told her about him, this part aint a lie) found me on this site. He wants to commit suicide now, and I am trying to talk him out of it."


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