I decided that today I would not do the Newbie mission and only reflect on what I wanted from studying PUA theory and long-term goals. I immediately saw that as weakness and a reason not to do it, so I went to the nearest mall (1 hour long ride) and tried my hands at it.

Oh man! I never knew it would be this hard. I think I have a problem that is deeper than most when it comes to talking to strangers. For the first 45 minutes I was just walking aimlessly incapable of saying a single word to anyone and my heart was pounding like I was going to die any second. I had to go outside, and rationalize/pep talk myself into going in again and succeed the Newbie Mission or there would be no continuation to that project!

After I got back in, I made it!!! I said 'Bonjour' to random people! But, I still have AA. I couldn't get to talk to really high-rated HB (8-10) and I couldn't greet anyone. If they were busy looking at something or just standing there not looking at me it was hard. I got a 'OMG you are crazy look' from an old lady with sunglasses. I guess not a lot of people random-greet her! Some girls had children with them, some other older women were just passing by. I put in around 7-8 'Bonjour' before calling it a day (I was exhausted, it took me so much to do something so simple).

Then, in the metro on the way back home, I got on with a HB 8 that was totally my type. Only a seat between us and almost no one in the cart. I thought about the 3 seconds rule (1), I had my open: 'Hey, I am trying to overcome my anxiety problem. Do I sound confident?' (2), I dont know if it was good or not, I had made it up and it was true so it seemed like it could work. But... what if it doesn't work (3).

And I failed that miserably, not opening and just staying there waiting for her to leave. It was crushing, I made it so that feeling of regret was excessively more harmful than being rejected would be.

I really need to crush that AA. I will do more little missions like this (even if it wasn't a resounding success, I learnt and progressed and thats what counts). I will also start a journal here to get feedback from people who have way more experience and skill. Thank you everyone and nice to meet you all! ^^

CheckRaise

I totally get what you're saying! That feeling of being crushed the moment she walks away is horrible. Also walking around desperately trying to greet but not being able to, it's killing.

But I've been thinking about this. And personally, I think that these horrible feelings that come with failure are your proof that you have the right motivation to succeed. It is that horrible feeling that makes you wanna be better. Personally, I only get really scared if I don't mind failure, because that'd mean I don't want it enough to succeed.

I'm hitting the streets right now and try to practice what I preach ^^

Keep me updated.

- Enlight

_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we're inadequate, our deepest fear is that we're powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us"

Getting out there

The day started off quite bad, I went out for the newbie challenge again, just to become more familiar with it. My goal was to not only greet, not only ask questions to which I already knew the answer, but to actually start a conversation. I failed.

I didn´t have any kind of momentum and the fact that I raised my expectations didn´t make it better. I was satisfied with nothing and couldn´t put myself to actually talking to people.

Then, in the evening my wing and I went to this suburb outdoor party with these drunk suburban people. After messing around and getting some momentum by chatting about bikes with a couple the frustration of all day just exploded. I was tired of failing.

I walked up to a group of women ( 5.8 - 7 - 6.8 ) and opened with the question whether they knew how long the party would last and that I wasn't from around the neighborhood. When the answered I noticed the 5.8 gave me a bit more attention and was less secure. I did 'the cube' on her. She was surprised with how close I came.
My friend and I went to get another glass of coke while I ran off to another 3 set, but all solid 7.5s this time! I opened in the same way and did the cube on the hottest milf in the group. She was stunned my the performance.

What In noticed was that both women I did the cube on, wanted to leave me after doing it. So I have much to improve on that. Also, I tend to wanna run out of the conversation as soon as the cube ends. I gotta work on that.

After opening 2 3-sets, I was not satisfied. (I tend to feel saturated after talking... I don't feel the need of doing it anymore). So I forced myself and my friend to the city center, to the bar strip.

Then it just all came together. I know it's not much that I ask these lame question, but guys: I opened like five 2-sets in one hour! I was proud.
I walked up to these girls and told them to name me the most awesome clubs in town to go to and then discuss with them why we should go there. I got rejected like 2 times and I missed 1 opportunity to take 2 girls to a bar, since they said they were looking for the coolest club as well while staring me deep in the eye. I was kinda angry for not taking the opportunity.

Right before we left, I asked my friend to point at a random group, doesn't matter who. He pointed at a seemingly drunk 4-set with 2 girls in it. I opened the same way and one girl was really enthusiastic. After talking a bit about the bars she asked me to join them! I didn't. It was time to go home. I left her with my name and we kissed goodbye on the cheek.

I know I'm not even nearly to the point where I want to be, but last night was like a pogo-stick jump in the right direction.

Advice for all the newbies like me: just ask people about the coolest places around, talk about where you can go and what's fun to do. It's easy and totally justified.

Things for me to improve:
-less walking away after conversation
-no more lying!!!
-approaches during daytime (it's hard... everyone is in such a hurry)
-be more specific while doing the cube


- Enlight

_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we're inadequate, our deepest fear is that we're powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us"

Did it. Failed at the mall, refused to go home with my tail tucked between my legs so I went out on queen street in toronto to fulfill the mission. There was no way that I could call myself a man if i couldn't lift up my head and say HI to at least 5 women. So i said to myself, either walk home (a 2 hour walk) or get it over with. So I did it. took me way too long but i did it. First couple said hi, got a couple smiles and 1 that didn't respond. Don't care, I didn't have to walk home. I read the forum that said to do it for 30 days for 30 minutes a day. Hope to get more than 5 next time.

Guys, the only thing I can say about this is set a consequence if you don't do it. Do you really want to keep letting this haunt you. Of course you don't and it's tough, just read the forum, get your confidence up and just get the smiles back. It's an awesome feeling.

Day 1 done. 29 to go.

_________________
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Let her rip.

Okay guy, i did it. And then fail in worst way. The point is, i live in Asia country, people hardly to make eye contract with each other. Even when i appear in thier view, I try to look in thier eye and usually saw that their eye look down or different place, just not me. Should i just go out and say hi even if they aren't look at me?? It is rather uncomfortable, really. Any advice would be neccesery, thanks.

I took upon myself to take on this challenge so I approached the whole day with my goal
to do this. I have to admit it was quite awkward and strange for me rather than coming up
to a girl with a canned opener. Yet, I proceeded anyway.

I got mixed results as I attempted with random girls at various times through out the day.
Totally ing ~10 or more (not much more) hello's. They were either walking towards me
, standing texting or finishing up on the phone, smoking, in line, whatever. I said various
version of a greeting; hello, hi, or how are you doing. The results was that no one really
stopped, some ignored, some smiled, others said hello. The warmest hello I got was from
one girl in a whole foods store. I assumed she was more open due to that I could of
been a potential worker...

The smiling part seemed kinda weird to me; I guess that I need to work on that.

I'm going to do this again tomorrow before I go out sargin during happy hour.

Great mission, and I think I have my new warm up.

_________________
Out sarging all the time!!!

Went to Bryant park for quick sweep again for this challenge.

Different energy and different results. The approached 7 chicks
and was only ignored once. It seems that they were all receptive
where I almost felt confident to continue and game, but I stuck
to the mission.

This will be added to my canned openers.

Now...Union Square...

_________________
Out sarging all the time!!!

At first, rejection seems harsh. But you will find out that from time to time it will actually HELP you since it will save you time if she's not interested. The key to actually get a girls' attention it to physically put your hand down. A good example of day game explained in this video (i'm not encouraging anybody to buy the book, only do it if you feel like you need some knowledge):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnoND_6aYdk

At least you are ACTUALLY getting out to practice. Do that at least once a week and you will slowly progress. Believe me, i've been just as nervous as you are but you will get there with time and effort

Wallie

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The Learning Journal:
--> wallies-journal-vt141967.html

Thanks for the video link; it really helps and when you are actually out there one can relate
to what they are saying and take this in strides.

I've thought to myself that now I will be doing the "hellos" for warm up; less I get a really
warm response, then game on. Then go right into gaming.

Now that I have done this challenge...is there another one?

_________________
Out sarging all the time!!!

There are many and you can do them in order like:
- Having a 5 minute conversation
- Having a 10 minute conversation
- Have a conversation in which the girls actually gets attracted
- Getting your first number close
- Getting a day 2 (or first date)
- Using kino to become more physical
- Actually become so good at kino that you will go for a k-close
- After some good k-closes and number closes going for a Same-night lay (SNL) --> this is where I currently am
- Threesomes
- Perhaps finding the right woman to marry

You see where I'm going? The game doesn't stop until you're dead or married. And even in a marriage you still have to be attractive enough in order to keep your wife. If not, she will cheat and divorce you, setting you back at square 1. It's a life changing experience. Just don't fall into the trap of becoming fake, stay the real you. But improve in a BETTER you.

Wallie

_________________
The Learning Journal:
--> wallies-journal-vt141967.html

I did the newbie challenge today. I go to school in a small town in western NY called st. bonaventure University. Other then campus, the only other places to go are walmart and park n' shop. I decided to go to park and shop. My first 'hi' was a cute girl maybe 18 and when the word left my voice it sounded weak. The second person was a women way older then me maybe 45 and she barely seemed to notice. By the third person i was actually starting to have fun with it and i got a "hi. how are you?" back. her friend even asked if she knew me! lol I did this for almost every single female that walked by today.

what i got from it is that its hard at first but after i burned through one or two, It only got easier and i got friendlier which gave me better results. I approached the cute girl at the store later and held a brief convo which went well. Over all, the newbie challenge was a success.

Hi everyone,

I have a dilema about touch contact. The thing is that some expert recommend touch contact with a girl immediately at the start, before rapport building. On the other hand I found theory that suggest stay away from touch at the start and slowly, during conversation, put some touch in the game.

Thanks for helping me out.

That is not relevant to this thread. Start a new thread with your question in this board or another relevant board like the Body Language board or Mid-game board.

I did my newbie mission today and I was pleased with myself. I went to the local mall and started of with a bang. I had 3 before I even walked in the door. I started out by walking to the Starbucks inside to grab an ice tea. (Caffeine increases my anxiety) I ordered it and there was an HB6 who was standing waiting for her drink. I wanted to go up and open but I waited too long. Then I got a couple more "hi"s in and walked into the Express store. One of the workers was a smoking HB9. She was running round. I had a couple of lines in my head and I wanted to tell her she was beautiful. I didn't talk to her but I did make eye contact with her and made her smile. By the end of the day I said "hi" to around 20 different girls. I did a little flirting with one of the workers in the costume store but no real conversations. I got everything from an enthusiastic hi to completely being ignored. Being ignored was not bad at all. After getting into it, I would look at my target and know she was going to be next up. It was real empowering. I didn't say hi to every girl but I came over some of my AA fears and gained some confidence. After this exercise I feel like I am ready for an actual approach.

Thanks for the exercise. This was a great first step.

KFox

I did something like this today, i walked around the mall and smiled at girls i thought were attractive. I also approached a girl and asked her where i could buy a headband, she then turned to her left and said i could probably find one at models "which we were standing right in front of" i felt kind of dumb,said thank you and walked away. It was kind of funny. I did notice that there was a little bit of AA but it was more in my body rather than my head. I really didn't have any clue what to say to her after she pointed out that there was a place to buy headbands right in front of us but im not sure if i would have anything to follow up with if we weren't. The next time i go i will try to approach 2 girls and, then the next time 3 girls 4 girls 5 girls....