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Her exact words were "Sex seems like 80% of the relationship to you, and 20% to me."
I'm also the best lover she's ever had. So it's not like I can't satisfy her. I MORE than satisfy her, so I'm really stumped. Any suggestions/explanations? I need help guys.
I love this post, because it's a great reminder how clueless us guys can be sometimes even when we've landed the hotest girl around and "won" the game.
Sex is not the issue, women have sex with guys that are terrible all the time because they want to please them. If a girl ever tells you she's less or not interested in sex it can only ever be translated as:
"I don't feel special/appreciated anymore". period.
Now at this point you need to decide: A) do you love this girl and want to continue sharing your life with her (at least for now, but maybe longer) or B) you are over her and it's time to move on.
If B, the choice is simple. Man up and tell her the truth: "It's not working out and I'd like to see other people". It's hard, and sometimes it hurts, but its the mature and respectable thing to do.
If A, and you really have a connection with this girl and want to maintain it, then re-read the first part of Ryan's post. Relationships are WORK. and like any job, if all you do is put your feet up and collect a pay check, you will eventually get FIRED.
You have to constantly, I repeat CONSTANTLY remind a girl why she's there if you want her to stay. Even the most secure girls need reinforcement that you are their best option. That you are the one they want to be with because you satisfy them emotionally. (Physical is irrelevant unless you are just plain horrific).
So, take a top down look at how you treat her on a daily basis.
-When you are together, is hooking up your first priority, or do you constantly escalate till she puts out signals just like when you were first dating?
-How often do you kiss/touch/hug her?
-How often do you sincerely tell her you love her (or whatever your thing is) as opposed to just responding to her when she says/does it.
-How often do you plan activities around her interests instead of just telling her what you or both of you will be doing?
-When you don't see her for a while is it easy to ignore her, or do you txt, check with, think of etc...?
If the only time her presence matters to you is when you are horny or have a boner, than news flash you do only care about her for sex. Most relationships will get to this point, but only the ones that pull out of it are the ones that last.
I agree with the above.
Usually when a chick says that all you want them for is sex, that usually means that all you want from them is sex. They have been trained and conditioned from birth not to let men use them for sex and they have a sixth sense that tells them when guys are. If she is saying that, it's cause you are doing that.
I agree with the earlier poster that it may be time to shit or get off the pot. If you sincerely want to have a real relationship with this gal you will need to back off the emphasis on sex and start doing other activities and connecting on other levels. And even if you are just in it for the poontang you will still need to back off on it and play it out as a casual FWB type thing.
Here's the real catch in all of this. Lets say you aren't just bragging and you really are the best she's ever had and you really do make her pussy drip whenever you want. SHE WILL DUMP YOU EVENTUALLY ANYWAY.
Even if you are biggest hottest stud in the entire world, she will dump you if she feels you are only interested in sex and are not fulfilling her needs for a full-service relationship.
Keep in mind most hot chicks end up dating and marrying beta-boy AFCs in the end.
Finding guys with hard dicks that give them orgasms is easy. Finding men that they actually connect with and that support and nurture them and put up with their shit is hard.
She may still bang you on the side and sneak into bathroom stalls in bars for a quickie now and then but she WILL dump you for another guy that fullfills her relationship needs even if he is the lesser lover.
Guys will stay with a woman if her only attribute is she is hot and great in bed. Women won't.
Your decision is whether you truly do love and appreciate her on multiple levels or if she is just a hot piece of poontang.
If she is just poontang then be honest with yourself and her. If she is much more than that then you need to start doing other things besides hustling her to get in her pants and start doing other activities with her and connecting on other levels.
If you connect on other levels the sexuality will still be there and will still be good.
It may be a bit less in frequency but as long as it is still good and still of adequate frequency it will be a more well-rounded and satisfying relationship for both of you.