OK, that makes a lot of sense. I think part of it was me trying too hard to be assertive also...

Well, yeah... we're not good enough at this to have enough perspective to see the big picture.
Dude, chill. I'm just trying to learn from this. Hell, if anything deciding it was "now or never" and I should just move on was part of what prevented me from seeing JackZero's point. I'm not stuck on this girl, I just wanted to learn from it.

Not everything on this site is oneitis.

Fair enough
I disagree with this last part though

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You went to a bar multiple times just for this chick. You made a thread on that. You got her number and she said doesn't want to date. Another thread. Smells very one itisy just saying.

I'm not the only one who sees what he wants to see.

There is like 4 people unanimously suggesting it's oneitus

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Are you saying that going to a bar just to see a girl doesn't sound one itisy? Do you do this for every girl? I mean it sounds cute but still like it's a crush that you did all that for one girl. Never thought one itis till I read the other thread.

Yes, and? It's the go-to accusation on this site. Argumentum ad Populum is a fallacy you know.

If you read the other thread you might note that I messed up and missed shots I should have taken earlier, and more importantly a more experienced pua suggested going back. She was cute and I thought I might have missed an opportunity, that's all. There's a big gulf between that and being hung up on a girl.

If you're looking for something you'll find evidence of it. Just like I was looking for a yes in her text so I saw evidence of her being on the fence. I was wrong, no big deal... and now I finally get what JackZero was saying and I've learned something. Which chanting "oneitis" at people completely fails to accomplish.

Don't get it wrong...your actions suggested oneitis. The fact that you were willing to go to a bar that you don't want to hang out in on multiple occasions, spend time that you don't have to spend, tell the bartender that you were only there for her, not want to go back because you don't want her to view you a certain way is a clear signal of what it is. It's okay to acknowledge, learn the lesson and move on.

I'm on your side because you were trying to play the game. Now we're just trying to help you review the game tape.

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The bar for oneitis has been lowered since the last time I was accused of it then. Yeah, I put a little effort into getting this girl, but again that was mostly because I thought I had a shot I'd missed. At this rate it'll be oneitis the moment you approach a woman!

The funny thing is I actually do have a little oneitis for a different girl, and this isn't the first time I've been accused of oneitis for a girl I'd asked about when I'd actually had it for someone else.

I just think the term gets thrown around a little too much around here...

You have 2 oneitus'

We are all human. I'm going through some oneitus at the moment but I'm not beating around the bush with it. Which is why I'm about to head out and pick up some girls to stop this feeling.

The oneitus thing is thrown around so much here, because it is probably the most popular way for a guy to discover the pick up scene:

Guy likes girl > guy is desperate for answers>google's and believes the marketing "get any girl' > make a thread> people tell him it's oneitus> then they leave and use tears as lube to fap with.

In your case though, it's pretty evident. But don't worry, doesn't make you a nazi.

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LOL... yeah, I know that happens a lot. But that's the thing, I'm not crying over this girl or desperately trying to figure out how to make it work. I misunderstood her text but after my reply and her lack thereof I just wanted to learn from it.

The funny thing is it made me wonder what my first post was, and surprisingly it wasn't oneitis! (Seriously, I'm surprised as hell by that.)

But that led me to reading a couple of my old threads and the reply to your next sentence:
general-questions/topic48897.html

The signs you're calling oneitis are, apparently, my modus operandii. The chick in that thread I didn't even remember when she opened me, and yet I followed almost the exact same process.

I think the reality is I draw shit out instead of taking the shot right away. This whole thread could have happened three weeks ago, without the oneitis accusations, if I'd just asked her out the night I met her. Instead I clam up, then overanalyze and think she might have been interested, go back and clam up again then overanalyze until I finally get the "clear" rejection. It's not oneitis so much as a symptom of, for lack of a better word, procrastination and overanalysis.

Clearly that's a pattern I need to break regardless of what you call it.

Nah haha

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?

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So I do the same thing with every girl, even when it's a girl I didn't notice and have no investment in... so it's "oneitis." Uh-huh. It's like the word doesn't even have a definition anymore.