When to use smileys in text-gaming



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A Sticking Point or SP is an issue you CONSISTENTLY run into.

It is NOT a point where you get stuck with ONE SPECIFIC GIRL.

A Sticking Point is:
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I keep getting LMR whenever I bring girls back to my place. This has happened at least 10 times already! What am I doing wrong?
A Sticking Point is NOT:
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I got LMR with this one girl! What do I do?
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 6:38 pm 
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I'm unsure of when I have to use smileys when I text-game.
I've discovered that smileys can have a big effect on how you read a message.
For example:
"I want to ask you out thursday night."
"I want to ask you out thursday night (:"
"I want to ask you out thursday night (;"

On the one hand, the period seems more certain but kind of serious.
With the smiley it seems happy but a bit vulnerable and friendly.
With the wink it have cockyness but maybe it's revealing my intentions too much and remove the mystery.

Any thoughts?

//LA


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 6:55 pm 
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I wouldn't use a smiley when asking a girl out. Also the way you asked implies weakness with the "I want...". She already knows you want to as the fact is instantiated by the fact you are concurrently asking her out.

Try: "What time are you available next week to hang out?"
or: " Hey there is somewhere cool I want to check out on Thursday, come with me."

As far as smileys and especially "LOLs" go there is no consensus in the PUA community. My rule is they are all ok but use them sparingly, and in the right context or you will look like a supplicating approval seeker. Half the guys here post their text with LOLs and smileys all over the fucking place, and I understand they are trying to keep it funny and light but it comes off as weak and approval seeking.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 7:38 pm 
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Thanks for the modify, gonna think about next time I ask a girl out in text.
Quote:
My rule is they are all ok but use them sparingly, and in the right context or you will look like a supplicating approval seeker
.
I'm working on my text game right now, and I find it harder than I thought it would be.
I'ved stopped sending smileys in my texts but I either get the respons that I seem serious - or worse: I get no respons at all.
For example I asked a bunch of my friends to join me at a bar yesterday.
I sended the text:
"Hey, I'm at [name of bar] from 9pm. Come join me.".
I got no respons at all and ended up calling one by one (I know my friends check their texts and text back if it seems appealing).
I want to sound certain in my texts and want to sound like "this one you don't wanna miss" as I do when I speak IRL, but I have this idea that the smileys will seem afc -
still, when it's all periods it may come off too serious - and no one will go out with you if you'r too serious.
I know for sure that question-marks and "..." dosent come off too well - but the smileys keep fucking me up.
You sound like you've thought it through, so my question about this is:
How do I keep a text "light and funny" and don't "come off as weak and approval seeking"?
I know it's a big question. If you have some material I could digg in, it would be appreciated as well.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 10:02 pm 
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Quote:
I wouldn't use a smiley when asking a girl out. Also the way you asked implies weakness with the "I want...". She already knows you want to as the fact is instantiated by the fact you are concurrently asking her out.

Try: "What time are you available next week to hang out?"
or: " Hey there is somewhere cool I want to check out on Thursday, come with me."
Still needs tweaking:
1) "What time are you available next week to hang out?"
You're the party, she's coming to chill with you, not the other way around...
I would say: "lets (activity, e.g. go rock climbing) on (day)"
at that point you'll get the "ok" or "im busy" answer.

-"ok" means you're semi in the clear... Don't be the chump, you're a busy man. Busy men have schedules and shit we need to get done. That being said, know your schedule. Pick a time in the form of a question (rewarding her for agreeing to go with) "How does (time) sound?" and just go from there...

-the "im busy that day" kind of response, say "ok," and wait a couple of seconds. She should burst out saying, "...but im free on _____!" Hopefully that day works with your schedule, and you make plans as mentioned above. If not, then, shit, i'de say "We'll figure something out, ill call you" or continue leading the conversation as if she didn't phase me


2) "Hey there is somewhere cool I want to check out on Thursday, come with me."
Obviously you want to do it if you're bringing it up. Even if you havent planned it yet, say you're going. Actions speak louder than words. If you've made plans to go to this place, it's probably fucking awesome (because you are).
I would say: "I'm going to (activity, e.g. this awesome outdoor music festival) on thursday, come with me!" (refer to the above ok/busy answers)


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 10:08 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
I wouldn't use a smiley when asking a girl out. Also the way you asked implies weakness with the "I want...". She already knows you want to as the fact is instantiated by the fact you are concurrently asking her out.

Try: "What time are you available next week to hang out?"
or: " Hey there is somewhere cool I want to check out on Thursday, come with me."
Still needs tweaking:
1) "What time are you available next week to hang out?"
You're the party, she's coming to chill with you, not the other way around...
I would say: "lets (activity, e.g. go rock climbing) on (day)"
at that point you'll get the "ok" or "im busy" answer.

-"ok" means you're semi in the clear... Don't be the chump, you're a busy man. Busy men have schedules and shit we need to get done. That being said, know your schedule. Pick a time in the form of a question (rewarding her for agreeing to go with) "How does (time) sound?" and just go from there...

-the "im busy that day" kind of response, say "ok," and wait a couple of seconds (if in person) or a little (if texting). She should burst saying, "...but im free on _____!" Hopefully that day works with your schedule, and you make plans as mentioned above. If not, then, shit, i'de say "We'll figure something out, ill call you" or continue leading the conversation as if she didn't phase me (this is all in person by the way). If you don't get a response, via text, after you say "ok," the conversation is over.


2) "Hey there is somewhere cool I want to check out on Thursday, come with me."
Obviously you want to do it if you're bringing it up. Even if you havent planned it yet, say you're going. Actions speak louder than words. If you've made plans to go to this place, it's probably fucking awesome (because you are).
I would say: "I'm going to (activity, e.g. this awesome outdoor music festival) on thursday, come with me!" (refer to the above ok/busy answers)
fixed


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 10:40 pm 
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Aris,

I wont argue about your #2 point as its somewhat valid but this is a fairly pedantic difference and I wont split hairs with you.

I will argue about your first criticism. I would have completely agreed with you a year ago but here is the logic of the non-specific day and why I move the onus of the day to the target. Its because I dont want to deal with them saying "im busy that day": now I have to figure out if they are non-interested or really busy, and also I have a text continuation where I have to seek out another day (thrown into a supplicating frame) or I have to push-pull and freeze her out for a week to keep the frame before re-upping the date. I know there are other responses but they also create an issue id rather avoid. So why your method seems to make more sense on first blush its a double edge sword and I now choose to go the easy route even if its not as strong on the front end.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 10:48 pm 
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Lib,

Yes I have thought about text game a lot and I have come to a few conclusions.

1.. Its hard to raise attraction via text, and while its more possible to establish credibility and create intrigue pre-date, post date text game is fairly just a rapport device not an attraction one.

2. The idea of creating great things via text is very appealing. Its also fairly unrealistic. Great things and great attraction happens when you isolate your target en vivo. So my advice is keep your text game short and sweet and move towards the date, im at the point where if the girl blows off one of my direct date requests text and keeps texting me non-sense ill cut her off as ive learned it goes no where as chicks love to text to get attention and when they are bored not when they are necessarily interested.

Now as far as your last questions of what to text, think funny. I have a bunch of humorous stuff I can pull out. If you want some great ideas then go to textsfromlastnight.com and it will supply an endless supply of funny and sexual shit you can text chicks. Roll your own version or substitute the gender pronoun and your good to go, best text resource available.


Last edited by detox75 on Tue Oct 18, 2011 11:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 10:58 pm 
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Oh ya Lib,

One more important tip about texting related to your example. I usually try to build an escalation ladder when texting. So I can get them somewhat invested at low cost and then see if I can get them to buy from there.

So if I want them to come to the bar ill start with something like this (off the top of my head)

" OMG WTF is going on at this bar"
they say: " lol no what happening"
You: ,have you been to Saltys crotch lick tavern?"
them : no
" cant tell you now, meet me here at 9pm"

- now you can add some steps but you get the idea, invest them at a low cost interaction (they want to know what happened) then escalate.

I often do the same thing when trying to escalate a long fuse chick for a meet up, but I wont go through an example of that unless your interested


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