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Basically, do not txt her again. Take someone to the bar she works at (preferably that new girl), go to the bar to get a drink with your girl and say hi to her. Make a comment like "youre so lucky... Your getting paid to have fun behind the bar and you get to see this xyz band, they are awesome". Like that you show her youre there for the band. Be cool, dont mention the fact that she didn't answer your txts or anything. Like you said, you want at least a friendship, act friendly, BE her friend. THIS IS REAL LIFE, ITS NOT FACEBOOK...you dont need to ask her to be her friend!
Also, something I like to do with the bartenders is this: " I usually get XYZ, but I feel like having something diffent. You know what, just get me whatever you usually drink." Or "just make something up ... But dont desapoint me" and smile. When she gives me the drink, look her in the eyes and tell her "if I dont like it im returning it" and smile! Take a small sip, make a nasty face, look at her and go "not bad" and smile. Then I say "dont forget how to make it, I might want another one"! Then I usually develop LATTER when I see she is not busy by "that was pretty good. Lets give it a name... Make it your initials!", "im gonna patent this drink and make money out of every one you serve, I let you take like 5% of the profit". They usually say something like "only 5%" I say "if it wasnt for me this drink wouldn't been born (I raise the glass, look at it and I say "drink.xyz, im your father"!). They always laugh. Well, thats one of my "routines" for bartenders. You dont have to go that far with her, specially if she knows you got someone waiting for you.
NOW A PERSONAL TIP: after the first date, dont make plans. Tell her something like "I had fun, you passed the "is she cool enough to roll with me" test : p... feel free to invite me for a drink one of these days!". I will not try to set another date, now its on her. After a couple days I might txt her randomly saying "I could soooo have a coffee right now ... Feel free to invite me, like that you know I wont refuse your invitation : p". Basically, I wont invite her but I will throw direct or indirect suggestions on what or when she should invite me.
I like that! Totally workable, and I like the next date tips as well. I'll definitely use those in the future.
On a side note, I have a routine that worked really well with a bartender, at least as far as getting a great drink (I had no interest in her otherwise). It's kind of specific, but if you have the right scenario it may work. It was a bar I frequent, and had gotten friendly with one of the bartenders and she would always hook me up - super strong drinks in a pint glass (my Jack and cokes only had about a half inch worth of coke in them). Well she quit, so one night I asked one of the other bartenders how she was doing, to establish that I was a regular and had been friendly with the one who left. Then I asked her if she was as good a bartender -she said of course! I said okay, here's the challenge, she used to make my drinks this way, can you match that? She says hell yeah, I say okay, I'll take two. I gave the other one to a friend of mine, he was like 'dude, how'd you get her to make this??"
Squarelife mentioned getting physical - I did to a certain extent. I'd touch her arm here or there when talking, like while emphasizing a point, or tap her on the arm and nudge her after making a joke.
I didn't go for a kiss, because I was getting over a cold and was still a little sick(and she knew this), so I didn't want to get her sick. I wasn't worried about that, I really did think we were hitting it off and I'd see her again. Oh well, you never can tell. Anyway, I even made a joke out of it while walking back to her car...I said something like "Don't worry, we get to skip the awkward first goodnight kiss tonight...I'm gonna be nice and keep my germs to myself".
I might have to find another girl to bring to the bar next week though, the new one I went out with is going to be out of town that night.
But actually my date last night could not have gone better. (well other than a F close or BJ, haha). Our first date I did a little arm touching, but no k close. I usually don't on the first date, unless I feel that the moment is there. Actually, I think the moment WAS there at one point, but once again, wanted to wait to get over the cold.
So last night we met at a bar for karaoke, they have these great two person couches up against the wall. So I got there a bit early to snag one of those, then took up alot of room on it so she had to sit close. After we got our first round I draped my arm across the back of the couch, but not yet touching her, I was just turned towards her while I was talking to her. It wasn't too long before she leaned into me and had her head on my shoulder, and then I dropped my arm down. A little while later, during a particulary loud singer, I leaned in close to say something to her, and she leaned in as well. I said it, then we both lingered, so time for the kiss. That was repeated quite a bit, at one point the karaoke dj made a joke about it when he called me up to sing. Then a bit later she started lightly stroking my thigh, then the back of my neck (I f'in love that). When she stopped I looked at her all serious and said "excuse me, did I say you could stop?" She laughed and started up again.
So that went great. I may have f'd up the other one, but at least I had my head screwed on straight last night and made the date go the way I wanted. I'm definitely going to se her again, probably at some point during the week.
Anyway, thanks for all the replies, I love the great advice that's given here.
I'll keep you guys updated on how it gos!
CHAT
