Heavy Makeout, no lay, how to move on?



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PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 3:21 am 
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Hey lads,

just started with PUA after I got a girl and lost my virginity. However she left due to business reasons and I don't want a long distance stuff for about 8 months.

Anyway, here is my experience from tonight and I need some advices from you how to move on and what she realy thinks. Shes round HB7 average face but a nice body.

Okay, heres the story:
11 pm: I talked to a grounp of girls (around 5?) for about 10 minutes some random opener and I introduces myself to her. Nothing more nothing less. My original target was unavailable because she was there with her boyfriend. So I ejected.

1am: I wanted to leave but I stumble across one groupmember at the strairs at a club. I introduced myself again and with bla bla I leaned in, like in Gamblers secret attraction code. Touching her cheek, she seemed ok with that and KC after about 1 or 3 mins. She was somewhat drunk anyway. I never thought KC was so easy.

The next 2 hours we spend together dancing, kissing and every possible shit. She even put my hands on her tits after a while. Also when we danced, normaly with a hand on her belly I but my hand down her skirt and rubbed outside her holy place. She seems to enjoy it realy much and was clearly attracted. I wanted to get her home to try some good booze (2 times and I tried to be subtle not be look needy). She said she would like to, but she and her friends stay together at her place so she has to bring em home. She introduced me also to her friends and I did the same with some of my guys around. Her company seemed to like me and even invited me home with em. But I have some university appointment tomorrow so I cant miss it. Anyway when we left the club she wanted my number and that I call her again, "PROMISE YOU CALL ME TOMORROW, PLEASE" . I texted her tonight: I hope you got home save, Hejsan. Answer in 5 mins with Yes, bla bla bla. For me shes nothing that special at the moment but since I am not so expirienced with girls I want get experience asap.

Okay, so basicaly, how to continue this best? Just call her and ask how she is, bla bla bla and invite her for some dinner cooking at my place?

Thanks!
Hejsan

Ps.: I am also not so good at phonegame, so Im up for some good links you can give me.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 2:25 pm 
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She's definately interested dude but one thing which may hold you back for seeing her again is judging by your post it seems everything was sexually/attraction based and not much (if any) comfort building. Which in my experience means if you wanna see her again you gotta strike while the iron is hot and try to set something up sooner rather than later.
With text-game etc use the time between now and your date (if she accepts) to try and build some comfort to make her more likely to meet up with you (attraction can fade rather quickly so it's not always enough to get the date) just get some basic conversations going with her likely asking what her favourite childhood movie was and stuff, get her to open up to you a bit.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:47 pm 
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Yep thats what I realize now. Normaly I got a lot of bla bla first and its normaly the sexual excalation that is the lack for me. Social proof and stuff like that was no problem, but somehow we didn't talk a lot and stuff. Maybe my excuse was that she was a little bit too drunk and I dont know how to deal with this situation. Otherwise I would cube her.

Another issue is that I spend most of the time sexually with her, not so much bla bla stuff. Idefinately wanted to get her home which was not possible. In that case should I rather build some comfort and rapport with her and stop if I can not go higher on the excalation ladder?

I called her like 2 hours ago still no reply.

Text game sounds good, any idea what to text her?


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 11:34 pm 
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Quote:
judging by your post it seems everything was sexually/attraction based and not much (if any) comfort building.
I disagree. He said he spent more than two hours with the girl after making out. He also got to know her friends. She wouldn't have made him promise her to call her if she just wanted his dick.

But I digress, sounds like she was pretty drunk


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:30 am 
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Yep, she was and shes btw swedish. How do these woman think about making out with a guy while being drunk and how do they percieve it afterwards in your experience?


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:38 pm 
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Yep, she was and shes btw swedish. How do these woman think about making out with a guy while being drunk and how do they percieve it afterwards in your experience?
I'm seventeen so I guess your girls are a bit older than mine. But in my immature circles a heavy makeout really doesn't mean that much. Especially since she was drunk. Sex and makeouts are so common that a make out (ett strul/haff) girls don't care the day after.

to make yourself special you should just ask her out for a cofe (works all the time). Sweden culture is based on "fika" (which means you go out and drink cofe or tea for 100kr).

Here's what I would try:

Call her up at random time. Ask her to go fika with you in 20-60 minutes. She'll probably say no but appreciate you asking. If she doesn't reply then text her "Hey I'm in town, want to grab a fika at |place| in 20 minutes?".

1: she says yes. win
2: she says "no, but some other time:)" then you can skip the cofe and set up a date at yours or her place
3: she says no, I don't want to. Then you can forget her or try some text game to open her


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 5:31 pm 
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Okay, got the date, shes not into studying and so on. So I want to take her on a coffee place at my campus, its quite nice and not so expensive ;) . I thinks its also nicer than some random coffee shop in town. Shes coming by car so no big drinking.

How far should I go for the first welcome? Directly kiss on the lipps for the beginning or shall I escalate slower again?

And afterwards? Shall I try to get her to my house? Its like 10 mins away.

By the way, how is it in Sweden with paying?


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:37 am 
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Okay, got the date, shes not into studying and so on. So I want to take her on a coffee place at my campus, its quite nice and not so expensive ;) . I thinks its also nicer than some random coffee shop in town. Shes coming by car so no big drinking.

How far should I go for the first welcome? Directly kiss on the lipps for the beginning or shall I escalate slower again?

And afterwards? Shall I try to get her to my house? Its like 10 mins away.

By the way, how is it in Sweden with paying?
Well first of all I'm not entirely sure about what either of you two want out of this relation. I will therefore just assume that you two want to possibly start dating each other.

Don't greet with kiss on the lips. This is just a date to see if you want to see more of each other. If everything goes well you can kiss at the end. However, I see the kiss more of an investment or a confirmation of you two going to meet again. It isn't necessary. With a girl I dated I didn't kiss close until third date - took her virginity on fourth of fifth. My point is that the kiss doesn't affect how you two are going to want to see each other again very much. A kiss at the end of a date is always good though.

I wouldn't try getting her to your house. You should leave after a while for something you have to do (preferably 5-10 minutes before she has to leave). Even if all you want is a fuckbudy then your first meeting can be to see if you're worth each others time (this is playing it safe though). Lets assume Styles logic: a woman won't want to sleep with you until you've spent 7 hours with her. I find that this number is actually very accurate. Changing scenery after a while can be good. She shouldn't think of you as a boring guy who'd spend hours in a coffeshop

On the subject of payment. In Sweden it is a very big focus on equality. I've never dated a woman who wanted me to pay for the movies or whatever. So I usually split the bill. I always insist of paying though, I´m yet to not be refused. However, I'm only 17 and I've heard that this changes in later years.

Example: Last night I went to the movies with a girl. I told her I have free tickets (my father gets like 500 movie tickets each year) so I would pay for the movie. She then said she felt so guilty that she had to pay for snacks. This has happened as far back as I can remember with every girl I've taken to the movies.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 7:19 pm 
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Okay, got finished with the date I think it went quite ok.

Shes acually a nice girl, northing big, she likes animals and has got a job as some sort of teacher. Anyway she got a lot to do with children. She has a good figure and I'd still rate her something between 6 and 7.

We greeted each other with a hug. I think she enjoyed the time with me, it leasted round 1hour and something. I think also I was not needy. I asked her if she remembers still something about last friday, and she told me yes everything. We talked about random stuff, some travels we did and about Sweden, what I have to see and stuff like that. Also I used some future pasting (if its called like that) for some things we can do together in the future. Fact is, no arkward silentness or boring talk, so thats good. At first we sat on two chairs and got a little bit of distance. That was sorta bad, cuz not much kino was possible although our legs touched. After 35 mins I guess one sofa got free and I told her, to sit over there. There I put my arm around her and KC after like 5 mins or so. 20 mins later and some kissed we went together to the tramstop for like 10 mins, I offered my arm for her to hook in, she did it, so I think that worked fine.
At the end she told me she wants to see me again. "Call me again sometimes" we kissed around and went our way. I got also some exams next weeks so Ill be sorta busy, however Ill go and call her, maybe for something on sunday?

However I wanted to ask you a few things I might need to improve:
- Shall I tell her more how I like her hair or stuff like that? I told her just stuff about how I think its cool shes into her horse and stuff like that.
- At the end I offered her to go play some pool, but she told me like she got no time and she still needs to do something. You think that real what she said or doesnt it matter?
- Somehow I got the feeling that I dont talk too much about some sexual topics however I ask her also about her feelings and stuff like that. How to transist best from normal bla bla to some sexual topic?


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 11:24 pm 
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My work and expertise here is done, personally I'd say your personality should kick in if you just want to develop a relationship.

Discussing sex isn't really important. Kino and make out is far more sexual than talking about positions and experiences. You could even be playing it safe to stick to kissing her and touching her without talking too much about sex. Talking about sex could give her the wrong vibes. But what do I know.

Whether her really having plans or not is hard for me to tell. Either way she wants to meet you again. With this in mind there can be only two reasons for not wanting to play pool.

1: She doesn't want to spend to much time on the first date since she's afraid she'll appear needy.
2: Is honest and actually has something to do.
3: Sucks at pool and is afraid you'll judge her for it.

But I digress because that's three reasons

Sweden out


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 11:20 pm 
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Okay, thanks mate for the tipps so far.

We do a little bit of texting each day, nothing too much oging on. As far as I can tell shes into me. However shes busy next weekend (sports tournament) and I am now entangled with my exams. She wants to see me again, definately but the only problem is the time management.

Anyway, she suggested me to come by for a movie night and some other small coffee. I guess it will be the same girls of the club. They liked me and I think it will go on from there as well. However I want to meet her personaly again and get things more going on between us (one night together) before I do all of that stuff. Also I got my exam on the next day. So there wont be to much time for me either. You got any idea how I turn this situation to a good side? Either I could say I can't but on the other hand I want to keep in touch with her to keep her still warm and meet her preferably alone.

Ps.: Some time ago I would gladly appreciate and thank her for inviting me. The whole PU thing has definately changed my view. Thanks guys your doing an awesome job!


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