Hey guys this is straight out of my Journal, I think its worth a read, let me know what you think:

19th July '12

So today i went out solo to the shopping centre.
I really hate being by myself , im really self concious.
Ive come away positive though - i think next time i wont need a wingman because:

Ive learnt something today.

Im not in pickup to gain the ability to talk to every women i see. When i see a girl i really like, i want the ability to talk to her, to find "the one".

Going out today with the objective to go talk to girls didn't feel right. I felt weird and this showed through when talking to people today.

I came to this forum to overcome this "anxiety", I thought all the answers would be here, through things like routines and canned material.

In fact, we need to do less. We all already know how to pick-up women. Its instinctive and primal almost.

For me, going to up her with confidence, without doubt or hesitation. With a genuine interest to get to know her is all you need. Go up and just say hi, and ask about the first thing you like about her.

Make it obvious your interested in her, have a cheeky smile, have a sexual frame, ask her name, ask what's she's doing tonight, ask whatever comes to your head.
Let her talk and ask about what she just said!

If you cant think of anything else, or feel its turning into an interview. Dont force it! it happens! Just say you gotta go and then ask for her number.

She says yes or no. At least you tried!

This above method certainly isn't the "tightest game". I wont be able to pick-up any women i want with this.

But today i learnt.. its just not me, when i try to be something i not, using routines, going out to talk to any girl and pretending to be the greatest guy on earth.
I get more nervous, i over think. I worry about what im going to say.

If i take the approach of not caring, just being me and saying hi because she hot and i want to get to know her, i have no problem doing it at all.
Maybe that's the secret after all.


I wanted to share this with everyone, i feel like its a Eureka moment haha.

I will add however.. This doesnt mean i stop here. I still have a lot to learn. This forum has helped me in beneficial ways, ive become aware of sexual frame, body posture and language, eye contact and inner game. I still want to learn so much more about the human mind.
Without you guys i wouldn't of got here in the first place. So thanks

Regards,

Boyo

_________________
Limit Nothing. Achieve Everything.
My Journal: boyos-journal-vt137995.html

looks like youve matured in your skills. i seriously recommend checking out the RSD channel on youtube for pickup material that i think you'll love. see if you like them and let me know. cheers

I'm not sure I agree entirely. You're right that canned routines are useless unless your appearance, body language and confidence are squared away.

However, how you come across even with a really fit girl that you really want to get with, will only be improved by your previous experience. Waiting for "the one" to come along and then assuming you'll come across right is probably going to end in disappointment and frustration.

I recommend seducing as many women as you can, within reason. Get the practice in. At worst the experience will be neutral, at best it will make all the difference when it "counts".

And also - but I mean this to be constructive criticism only - be sure that you've got the right attitude.

Going out there already believing that there is a "the one" waiting for you, some might say, is more than a little misguided and will lead you into disappointment.

Actually, there are many - very many. And if you have the mentality that there's one special girl out there just for you, you might meet "her" and get flustered because you think she's "the one", when, in reality, she's just one of a few million nice-looking girls you could quite easily hit on.

To be sure, that attitude is going to help you where A LOT of guys i know fall flat. The approach gets that much easier if you go about it like that. If you only approach a girl you genuinely want to get to know, the conversation that follows will be even that much better.

So, now you've conversed. She's comfortable with you to be sure. But is she ATTRACTED to you? You and your confidence created the conversation and the comfort. But its you and your game that's going to create the attraction.

If I were you, I'd be looking into mPUAs that teach "natural" game and studying them. There's some stock material involved, but theres a lot of inner game too. If you haven't already, check out Matt Hussey, who's great with inner game.