I go out everyday around 3pm to the bookstore so I can talk to girls and most of the time I just walk around for 2-3 hours without talking to anyone. It takes me 30 minutes just to get to town and to go through that disappointment so many times sucks. I've approached 3 girls before over going out 100 times. My question is will my APPROACH ANXIETY ever go away!? It's holding me back so much that I don't even no how to overcome it. Has anyone else gone through this stage before, How do you cope with it?

I'm far from one of the masters... I actually suck at this but like any other challenge I think that there is always going to be the risk of failure and the anxiety from that. What will happen is that you can learn to understand that to get better you have to get out of your comfort zone and push yourself. If you can do that you will just accept it... you can also get better at having fun failing. Honestly, if she blows you off who cares. You'll probably never see her again.

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In this world of give and take...
There are not enough men willing to give what it takes.

Hehehe, I had the same problem. I go to university with a plenteous amount of girls. When I first started day game I to would walk around for hours or leer at girls till I become creepy.

The problem is that you have not provided your brain enough proof/evidences that this is okay. Therefore your success criteria of approaching girls (even if it's to open) is out of your league. Therefore just step down your goals.

Remember "your brain wants proofs not promises" - Tyler Durden. Basically, if you promise your brain that it will be okay to approach girls and nothing bad will happen, your brain will not listen.

It took me like a month to realize this, but basically start out by just approaching girls for direction, or even asking for the time. You know the tourist questions. Do this 5 times a day and your brain will start to realize that this is okay to approach random strangers. You can even notice sometimes that the girl(s) are attracted to you for a moment.

I did this for like a month till I stepped up my goal of asking "Hey do you know where xyz building is? I can't lie to you, I just thought you were cute and I had to meet you." .... do this for a while (another 3 weeks) ... then step it up again by saying "Hey, I thought you were cute. I just had to meet you." .... etc etc etc

Hope that helped. I had the same problem before and now able to day game fairly efficiently and with out hesitations.

Sincerely,

Donston

I just picture myself succeeding with women when Im out gaming on them. It takes confidence. It's a he'll of a lot easier if you bring a good friend with you I find. It goes away but if you don't try to keep it away it'll start to come back. I think most pickup artists are like this. I sure struggle with it a lot. Just picture yourself being successful in your gaming. Having a great time and they're having a great time too. And then walking away happy, because you know you did great.

I apologize but I couldnt help but chuckle at your post. I dont mean to lower you in any way, and rest assured, I will help you through this, but re-read what you wrote: " I've approached 3 girls before over going out 100 times. My question is will my APPROACH ANXIETY ever go away!?"

Like seriously?
It's like a hockey player that has had the puck a hundred times and shot it three times. Is he going to sit there and go "AM I EVER GOING TO SCORE A GOAL?!" What do you think the answer will be? You guessed it: "If you shoot the fucking thing more often, some of them are bound to eventually go in"

To answer your question more specifically tho: No. Approach anxiety will never go away. I have done nearly if not more than a thousand cold approaches and still get AA. Do I let it cripple me? No. And the times I do, Im terribly shamed at my weakness. Can AA be diminished til it feels like just a pebble in your shoe? Yes. Approach approach approach... It reminds me of the first time I stepped into the ring. I was terrified during my first fight and sure enough I got my ass kicked. Slowly tho, the more I fight, the better I get, and the better my opponent, the more I learn. Do I still fear nervous when I fight someone with more experience than me? Yes, but Im sure as hell down to fight anyway. Whats my secret?

Independence. As simple as that. You see my friend, most people in the community do not truly love the game, they want the fastest possible outcome. And so they learn a couple lines, create a false identity for themselves, finally get laid with the first hb6 that responded to them, and then go post "I f closed a 10. My game is so tight right now" but they lie to themselves.

I digress True greatness comes from the love of the process, completely independent of the outcome. I could go deeper on this topic but before I do, I want you to complete an exercise. I want you to go downtown, and talk to 5 different people. They could be men, women, young or old, but count 5 people. What you are going to do is go up to them and find ONE thing you will appreciate. Ex: Sorry mate, I really like your shirt! Where did you get it? Nice thanks so much man" and then WALK AWAY. For a woman: "I love your scarf/bracelet/posture/confident walk" ANYTHING. and then you WALK AWAY. This is key. The exercise is going to help you with two things: It will first get you used to noticing little things about people, and make your approaches more honest and genuine. The second thing it will do is ingrain deep inside your mind that you are in love with the process, not the outcome. You go talk to a girl, say your piece and then leave her there. Dont even wait for a reaction or a "oh thank you!!" Just say what you have to say and leave. That is true independence. Once you complete this exercise, PM me or post here and let me know how it goes and how you feel.

Good luck mate

Love and lots of it
TheMack

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Dear Friend, this could happen to anybody esp. if they have been out of the dating world or if they are starting off. But, some of us who have been around for longer have learned to LIVE OUT OF OUR HEADS and so even after a break we can get right back into it quicker. So Yes Approach anxiety is common. But instead of fighting it try to approach with it - I'll explain - I'll give you a Magic Pick up line that NEVER FAILS, IT NEVER EVER FAILS, ready .... if you are nervous of approaching, why not walk up to a girl and tell her something like " Hey I thought you wre cute but I was feeling nervous to approach you. (then say )Hi I am (your name)"

Instead of acting confident when you are not - try to live that nervousness but not let it paralyze you.

Believe me, when you tell girls that you wre nervous or shy but still wanted to talk to them they find it very cute and will talk to you -

Try this and please feel free to PM or post back to us how it goes. Try it over and over again

Good luck,
Marc

I've always wanted to try that. I always figured it would come off as cheesy. Now that you say it works I'm gonna have to give it a shot.

Let me Reiterate - IT WORKS, and it WORKS GREAT ! until you are no longer nervous and women can feel that confidence !! - after that point it becomes a just pick up line. - So Try it, and if it helps you guys too I'd have done my bit

Nope, simple answer and the truth. There will always be someone or every approach where you have a 1 second moment that your AFC self is saying WDFFF are you doing? its just human nature, we don't want our social proof to be tarnished aka being rejected.

Yet, after practice, repetition and repetition, you will be able to get over that. I personally pride myself on having 1% AA I will always have that one girl I will just mentally mind fuck myself over, but if I see a target, unless I am with my mum, sister, or girlfriend/girl I am gaming, I will go and say hello, at least have a 2 min conversation. If I am not immediately attracted (I need 2 mins to determine this, I think with my cock + brain -obviously my cock thinks in 2 seconds) I eject.

So hope that answers your question!

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Best of Luck
-Raphael

Aspiring Artist

Read the adventures I take as I discover my way towards becoming a mPUA or a dPUA (decent PUA) including completing the StyleChallenge ---> raphaels-journel-vt119594.html