All my dates are flaking - Anyway to cut this down?



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:34 am 
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I had dates setup for Friday (last week), Saturday, Monday, Wednesday and tonight (Friday) and they all flaked. This is beyond frustrating. I am going by Todd's guidelines in 3 girls a day. I don't feel I am being pushy when setting them up. These are girls from both OkCupid and Tinder.

I try to get them on the phone instead of just texting so we can talk for a little bit. Even the ones I did talk to by phone and the interaction went well are flaking. I understand things come up or their mood changes and they'd rather be non-confrontational and just don't reply at times but still...

Any tips or tricks you guys know of to go from after getting their number to actually seeing them on the date?


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 3:01 am 
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Okay..

First: Females are cold and indecisive creatures. A girl will have no problem standing you up or just ignoring every message you send. This can happen suddenly. For example.. you talk a few times, conversation goes well. One day she just blanks every text you send. Or she organises to meet you after being so keen. Then she doesn't turn up and never gives an explanation.

Of course you probably have experienced this a lot by the sounds of your posts. But have faith. I have had girls flake on me three times in a row. But the fourth time she turned up and I fucked her within 3 hours. This is because it is near on impossible to spark a females emotions through texting - words just are not that sexy. With one exception I have noticed.. picture messages. If your a bodybuilder with 5% BF, then send her a picture. She will most likely rationalise your physique with them superheroes from the movies. Have a good looking face with some cool tattoos? or a crazy beard? send her a picture. Girls love it. But.. do not worry if you have non of these.

What you need to do is keep her brain on an emotional roller coaster and make her feel like your safe. Your real. Your of high value. Send her random pictures of you doing cool shit instead of just boring text. Make it as funny as possible and as high value as possible.

The main goal here is to get pictures in return. If shes insecure she might not send one. Tease her for being shy..

MAKE SURE YOU DON'T OVER DO THE PICTURES.

Too often will annoy her. Too often will also be a DLV. So infrequent, unless she matches you photo for photo.

Second: Do not schedule the date days in advance for a first date. If you have too, meh. But the goal is to schedule it for that evening, or the next day. Its more spontaneous. It makes you seem of higher value, and gives her less time for her to "forget" how charming you was to begin with. Females emotional attention span is LOW.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:27 pm 
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Quote:
Okay..

First: Females are cold and indecisive creatures. A girl will have no problem standing you up or just ignoring every message you send. This can happen suddenly. For example.. you talk a few times, conversation goes well. One day she just blanks every text you send. Or she organises to meet you after being so keen. Then she doesn't turn up and never gives an explanation.

Of course you probably have experienced this a lot by the sounds of your posts. But have faith. I have had girls flake on me three times in a row. But the fourth time she turned up and I fucked her within 3 hours. This is because it is near on impossible to spark a females emotions through texting - words just are not that sexy. With one exception I have noticed.. picture messages. If your a bodybuilder with 5% BF, then send her a picture. She will most likely rationalise your physique with them superheroes from the movies. Have a good looking face with some cool tattoos? or a crazy beard? send her a picture. Girls love it. But.. do not worry if you have non of these.

What you need to do is keep her brain on an emotional roller coaster and make her feel like your safe. Your real. Your of high value. Send her random pictures of you doing cool shit instead of just boring text. Make it as funny as possible and as high value as possible.

The main goal here is to get pictures in return. If shes insecure she might not send one. Tease her for being shy..

MAKE SURE YOU DON'T OVER DO THE PICTURES.

Too often will annoy her. Too often will also be a DLV. So infrequent, unless she matches you photo for photo.

Second: Do not schedule the date days in advance for a first date. If you have too, meh. But the goal is to schedule it for that evening, or the next day. Its more spontaneous. It makes you seem of higher value, and gives her less time for her to "forget" how charming you was to begin with. Females emotional attention span is LOW.
Yeah I prefer to get them out that night or the next day if possible. When it is days in advance it usually doesn't seem to pan out.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 9:23 pm 
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It's just the nature of online dating. There are bound to be flakes no matter how great your game is. Just don't take it personal. There are several hundred reasons that they flake, maybe it's your fault, maybe it's theirs. No use to sweat over it.

However, what you can focus on is how to reduce the chance of them flaking. I found these few tricks work:

- Make her invest into the meetup. For EX: hey you're in charge of sneaking gummy bears in to the theatre. - this works well for me because I can casually send them a reminder text if they happen to forget about the date (this could happen with busy girls) and since they commit to such small favor, they'll be more like to come.

- Make it fun and provoke her curiosity. I usually just tell them "I'll pick you up at.... Dress casually. You don't want to the odd duck out in the crowd." - just leave the details for later and make her curious.

- Build more comfort - this can be done over a QUALITY phone call. What I meant by quality is make sure that you create some sort of connection with her. Fluff talks and flirting is great but it won't build trust. Share something personal. And she will share back. That will create a quick personal connection and build some trust. The more trust you build, the less likely she will flake.

- Don't be too formal about the date. it'll put pressure on them. And they will likely to change their mind last minute.

- FB and social media ruin this one for you. She has too many last minute options to choose from. The best way to do this is planning a date with 2-3 days. Or just do spontaneous date - pick a logistic time (my favorite is Tues and Wed night - they most likely have no plan in those days) - call them and suggest a spontaneous date while on the phone with them that same night.

Last thing is fairly important, I know people like to text nowadays but avoid texting too much. Leave some mystery so she has to find out herself in person. Try to limit your texting between 5-8 responses a day and do not text her everyday.

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