Over and over I keep hearing about how people "perfectly stack routines" and stick to the game plan at a club - but yet, can't seem to close or hook a set properly.

I heard this so many times it pissed me off at last. I thought to myself - how come people can't figure this out? it's so obvious!!

Then, one day, it ocurred to me.... I used to be the same.

I remember back in the days, where I would write down 2-3 pages worth of routines and conversational topics.

I remember going out and doing the same routines and stacks over and over.
I remember mastering them.
I remember, despite the perfect words I used, that I failed over and over again.

Fuck this shit, I thought. Fuck the community.

Then one day, my game revolutionized. My success with women SKYROCKETED so much I thought I was dreaming.

It took me some time to figure out WHY it got so much better, out of nowhere. I mean, I barely even remembered my routines anymore. Things were just... clicking.

A few weeks later, it hit me. I knew exactly why I started getting successful, even though my routines were shaky and I didn't always know what to say.

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Most of you have heard that inner game is the key to outer game. And outer game is the key to success.

Yes, sure, this is true. But how do you get this inner game? How do you get confidence that lights up the club when you enter?

Like I mentioned earlier, I started getting successful the moment I stopped giving a shit about the community. No more theory learning, no more DVD's, no more YouTube clips and so on.

The moment I quit caring is the moment I went out with friends to have fun. I didn't care about "sarging" anymore. I cared about having fun. I had fun doing my own things with the guys, such as drinking games, story telling and so on. Sort of reminds me of camp fires.

Point is, as I learned to have fun - I got more comfortable with myself because I realized: Nobody here gives a fuck. Nobody's staring. Everybody's having a great time. Who are they to judge me for having fun?

The definition for confidence is: Being comfortable with yourself.

I quit giving a shit about people, I quit giving a shit about how I was viewed by others and I quit giving a shit about when I was doing something right or wrong.

The results?

I didn't even notice when my own confidence struck me as lightning. I was so busy having fun and enjoying myself, that I didn't even notice my confidence growing more and more, week after week.

All of a sudden, chicks would approach us at the tables and strike conversations. Since I was so comfortable with the situation I was in and with who I was - I surprised myself as fuck when I noticed my game was flowing. I made the chicks laugh, I made the guys laugh, the chicks would cling on me and everybody just loved me. And listen - I used to be the guy that nobody wanted to be around. I was... "THAT guy...". The one nobody talked to. The one nobody liked.

One night, I got my first make-out ever... I started rewinding that night in my head over and over, trying to figure out what I was doing right. I couldn't stop smiling when looking myself in the mirror from that day on. Sure, the chick I hooked up with bit my lips so hard they were sore and bleeding for about a week (for real) - but I didn't care. She made my night, and it was lovely.

After that night, my game started growing exponentially. My first make-out granted me a HUGE ego boost. I was even more comfortable with myself (confident). I wasn't even using routines or "game plans" at this point. It was all just... flowing.

Now I'm not saying that my rejections were eliminated after some time. They weren't. I've gotten rejected so many times my head will explode if I start counting. Point is - I was better. Much, much better. And I knew that if I put in additional effort - I would become even better.

My life started blossoming because of how proud I was over myself.

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So, to re-cap from all of this:

*You gotta quit being "in your head" so much. Who gives a shit if you say something wrong. Who the hell is there to tell you what words are "right" anyways? If you start thinking too much about what you're gonna do or say, TRUST ME - your body will show it and you will come off as extremely awkward.

*Learn how to have fun. You are NOT there to "sarge" or "get with women". You're there to have fun and do what YOU love doing (note: if you like doing some weird ass shit that pushed others away from you - stop it. There are better ways to enjoy yourself). Ultimatelly, you WILL get with the women.

But what I'm trying to say is: Don't make that your initial goal. Don't tell yourself - aight, i'm gonna hit the clubs today to get laid. Think like that, and your body language will reveal your agenda when talking to chicks. They notice stuff like that instantly. Even if you think they don't and you think you're being super cool. It's just ruining your game and gets you back in the process of "being in your head".

*Start having an "I don't give a shit" attitude. Look, you need to boost your ego a little bit. Things get so much easier when your attitude is: I don't need these people. What the fuck do they mean to me so far? Nothing. In fact, I AM the one having the most fun in this place. THEY want ME.

I know you will sound like a total douche like this. That's why you're gonna keep this in your HEAD only. Nobody can access your thoughts. And as you've learned, your inner self is what shows your outer self. If you have an "I don't give a shit" attitude, you will come off as a genuinely cool guy that's relaxed and knows how to have a good time without relying on other people. Your body language will show that automatically and people will pick up on that.

(However, you need to TRULY believe in this. Find ways of doing so. Don't try forcing your mind into believing in something you don't. "Fake it til you make it", in my experience, doesn't work.)

People will in fact love you - but only if you learn how to love yourself.

I don't care where you come from or what kind of person you are. Learn how to love yourself, because after all - your whole game relies on that.

Love,

Panda.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

I give you props for noticing these observations. These comments are invaluable to some people in this community who think that PU is only about women when it is so much more than that. Thanks for that dude, and I hope you the best...

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(I LOVE THIS COMMUNITY!)

read the whole thing,made a lot of interesting points!Only if everything would be so easy as in theory

Think about all the methods out there. They are designed for the creator's game - not yours. That's why it's so hard becoming good at game by adapting to a different personality. Definitely not good in the long run.

This, however, will give you a good kick in to the world of natural game.
It doesn't matter which way you choose to learn game: Not a single path you choose will be easy

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

wow at first I was like; OMG, another happy sappy story about some guy being inspirational to others because he saw the light.
But after reading I actually clapped, lovely story man. So true also.

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Failure was never an option


Because girls don't like sex.. Yeah RIGHT!
Why else do you think girls have P*ssies

Interesting post!

Naturals and average guys around me tell me always the same:

"I never open. I just hang with the guys and have fun, and things happen spontaneously. It never works when I activly search for it. It has to come to you. Love should just happen."

It almost sounds like a fairy tale, and yet, how can naturals who never open get laid?
Still it happens.

I have 2 questions where I sometimes get stuck, and which I hope you or someone else can answer clearly:

If you don't care about sarging girls then and you just want to have fun with your friends, then I assume you don't open girls? I can't imagine that you approach and open girls if you don't give a shit about them at the moment. To my own experiences: no matter how much fun you have with the guys, girls will not just start approaching you, especialy if your in a club or a bar where you only know your mates.

Secondly, most people are aware that you should adopt an "I don't give a shit attitude" to increase your confidence. But the question is: how do you make yourself congruent with these toughts? How to truly believe it? It's like you said, thinking "fake it till you make it" doesn't work. If I understand you well there was just a moment in your life when caring into game and what others thought of you turned into not caring at all?


I ask these because, although I know I shouldn't give a shit, after some time having fun with the guys, I quickly start looking around for hot chicks, and then I notice myself looking and feeling needy deep inside, and I think "I actualy shouldn't be caring at all. I should think less about girls" And when at days when I don't feel comfortable, I know I should don't give a shit. I think "Damn, I should be thinking that I'm the man! I shouldn't be caring what other people say! C'mon focus!". If your not congruent with it, it just won't happen.

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You WANT to make a change.
You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

Ambitious to be succesfull => Shyler

I think a lot of theese problems come from not being in the right 'state'.

Sometimes you get the feeling, like your superman and you have the biggest cock in the universe... and you have fun, you dont worry about checking the place out for hot chicks, then you just bump into some chick, not thinking about what you're gonna say, things just work out...

My point is - just as Panda wrote - when you're in the right state, and your game comes from within, thats when it REALLY works.

Im not saying Im the best at this, my inner game is still has it ups and downs, but I've learned what I need to find my state and I prepare myself by doing certain things.

Thats one way to go about this.

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Vino, vedi, vici.
I drank some wine, I saw her, I conquered

I love this post.

"Be yourself" is probably some of the oldest advice out there.. and most people hate being told to "be yourself". The reason people hate this advice is because they don't truely understand what it means.

This thread you posted explains EXACTLY what it means and why its so important.

Good stuff!!

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Women are smarter than you think... but not as smart as THEY think

Agreed, about 6 months ago i dropped using lines, or canned material. I still use some basic techniques that i developed myself but thats it. All i do is try to go out and have fun and not give a shit what anybody thinks of me and ive been living in abundance ever since. Even when girls give me shit or call me an asshole, i just dont internalize any of it. If im an asshole then im an asshole, take it or leave it.

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~Carmo~

I have in the past got girls that have seen me out with a mate having a good laugh and have been so interested in me that it didnt take any effort at all to then get a date/ lay, just a case of staying in the tension and not killing it.
Trouble is they were not girls I would deliberately want to go after, they tended to be middle of the road ok-ish so I just wondered how many HB8-10s actually came onto you in this manner? Pre-selection switch I learned on here counts for a lot.
I think the skill in this PU stuff is to be a go getter of the hottest, most attractive and maybe even intelligent girls out there using your own conscious effort not relying on not giving a shit and they will come stuff.
If you mean not giving a shit about rejection then fair enough but not giving a shit about going after your desires and creating the 'they come to me' then I doubt many really HBs will be in your bag.

Sorry for the late replies, but I am currently out of the country, not having access to the internet or a properly working computer.
To answer your first question - Don't get me wrong, you DO open sets. However, you do it while you have fun with your friends - spontaneously. If you see a chick doing something funny or weird, you got yourself a good opener right there. Start busting her balls. This one time, a chick almost caught her hair on fire (and she would have, if I didn't save her lol). Not saying these kind of things happen all the time, but the point is - open sets while having fun. Dont force yourself out there if you feel like its all work and no play. Hope you get my point.

The attitude will develop itself the moment you are comfortable with who YOU are and the moment you stop caring what others think of you. You need to motivate yourself to think along these lines - or your whole life will be shackelled in chains.

The moment you actually feel comfy with yourself - everything else will follow (the confidence, the i dont give a shit attitude, and practically anything else that is GOOD).

Question is, how much do you truly care of what people think of you? If you care the least, make it go away. Here is a fact for you - people in fact DONT care about anything you do or act like, because they are too busy thinking about themselves and how people view them.

So even if you feel that you have screwed something up... trust me.... it is a tiny detail that no one even pays attention to - no matter how significant it feels for you.

Hope this helped,

Panda.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Ok thanks man! Your answers cleared some things up to me

_________________
You WANT to make a change.
You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

Ambitious to be succesfull => Shyler

Thanks for the great post. I also believe being yourself is better than using a stack but for a beginner like me the tricks and routins work ie until you become comfortable/confident enough to be yourself. As you know you need to know how to make wine in general before you can make your own brand. Lol I've learnt a lot thanks man

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I'm a predator I dont make pets out of my prey!

Great post, I concur... confidence = being comfortable (Being comfortable in the club, being comfortable approaching, and being comfortable while talking to people). I figured this out too a while back.

But as sliqx pointed out, I do believe beginners need to start out with routines and structure just to get a basic feel for how a social interaction goes. Because, let's face it, most people who first find the community are social retards... I was too.

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An approach a day keeps the guru away.

100% agree with you, had a lot of changes in my personal life in the last 2 months and I went with a "I don't give a shit" attitude and my self confidence have skyrocketed. I do things I would have never dared to do before and the results are definitely showing in my social life.

Still need to work on some stuff for my case but what you're saying is totally true. Have a kind of a douchebag attitude and don't give a fuck about others might think about you.