Ive read and heard this many times. I think it was said by David D. What is the real contex behind this statement? Peace.

Attraction is based on a collection of past experiences. It happens on a subconcious level initially and is determined by such things as past experiences with women, relationship with your mother and even how the media portays women during your generation. It's important to mention that attraction in this context should be defined as being in the time frame of the first 10 seconds of meeting/seeing someone. After these ten seconds, you have time to start qualifying/disqualifying to yourself whether you're "attracted" to this person but this is all brain games like AA. So as long as you focus specifically on attraction within a specific time frame then yes, I believe we do not have control over our attractions.

The way he explains it is that women cannot choose who they are attracted to, likewise with us. This is true, but the context he uses is misleading.

The way David explains it, attraction is not a choice, meaning a woman has no control over her attraction towards YOU. That means YOU can attract and seduce any woman. It's good marketing, but it's simply not true. Know how you look at some girls and there's nothing wrong with them, but they're just not your type? Yeah, that's not a one way street. A bunch of girls could be swooning over some guy and there'd be a few asking "wtf do they see in him?", likewise one girl could be going apeshit over a particular guy and the rest could be like "he's not that special, what is up with you?". When a woman sets eyes upon you, you are categorised as one of the following:

1. Holy shit, give me it.
2. He's not bad.
3. I'm good, thanks.

Sound familiar? That's cos we look at girls and our first impression is much the same.

In the case of 1, you still need to go up and talk to her cos that's your duty as a man. Girls won't approach you nomatter how handsome you are, whether it be self esteem issues or the fact that, y'know, girls just plain don't fucking do it. So, you have to approach the girl... and yes, handsome as you may be, you still need a good personality. If she likes that aswell, you're in. Ditto for 2. As for 3, not gonna happen cos you're just not her type and even though your personality may be awesome, she doesn't feel that spark. And before you start ranting and raving about how looks don't matter, I am blissfully aware of that fact. This is not looks I'm talking about, this is types. George fucking Clooney isn't every girls type, so there you go. Just to make sure you completely understand, different girls have different types - and just cos you're not her type, it doesn't mean the same goes for every other woman in the room. Go get 'em.

So, from a realistic angle (as opposed to a "selling a shitload of books and seats at a seminar" angle), we're basically saying that as long as she has some kind of attraction towards you in the first place it's pretty hard to fuck things up because of that attraction. She will overlook certain things because she likes you, whether it be something physical or something about your demeanor etc... as long as you're not a complete idiot or you're disgusting. She cannot switch off that attraction because of those little things - that's my take on it, anyway.

It means David D. is fucking multi-millionaire.

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I'm addicted to facing my fears.

Oh yeah that too.

Damnn.. Solomon really knows his shit.
+1 bro

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Grape's eBook of 2009 (71 pages of useful information) http://www.scribd.com/doc/24523878/Grap ... ok-of-2009

So, is all of his stuff full of BS or just this statement?

It's not bullshit. You don't get to choose who you're attracted to, plain and simple. If a person triggers those feelings in you and they don't do anything that stops you from feeling attracted, then you will continue to feel attracted to them whether you like it or not.

Every guy has had at least one girl that he just couldn't get out of his head and stop being "in love" with, even though he knew he was never going to get with her. I'm sure you have because I have yet to meet a guy that hasn't; I've felt this way about several girls in my life. You know nothing you do will ever make her interested in you, yet you just can't rationalize it enough to make yourself stop being attracted to them.

Girls have the same problem. We've all known girls that were with asshole guys and we couldn't figure out what she saw in him. Often the girl even knows that he's an asshole and treats her poorly because she comes to you looking for a shoulder to cry on and then after you make her feel all better she goes right back to him anyways, right? Usually it's that same girl that you're crazy about.

Girls and guys don't have a choice over who they're attracted to because it's psychological and physically out of our control for the most part. You can rewire your brain to be interested in different things in people, but that's a complicated process that most people don't know they can do and it's more advanced than I'm going to go into here (check out this thread for more info do-you-know-what-you-need-in-a-woman-i-do-vt29674.html).

So the context that DeAngelo is speaking of when he says that attraction isn't a choice, is that if you have the ability to trigger the "switches" in a girl that you're talking to in order to make yourself fall into the category of guys that she's attracted to, then even if she thinks to herself that she shouldn't be attracted to you, she won't be able to stop it. She may know that you're a "pickup artist" because you or her friends said something to her about it, but if you've done the right things to get her attracted to you, then she can't help it.

For instance, I had a girlfriend that is more than a little messed up because of some experiences she's had with men. She said she had stopped going out with people and hadn't had sex in 2 years because of it, but when I met her I got her attracted and so she gave me a chance. She wasn't ready to get into a relationship because she still had a lot of issues, so after a few weeks we broke up, but we remained friends.

Whenever we'd get together there was so much attraction and sexual tension between us that we'd end up flirting heavily and even ended up kissing and fooling around a few times even though we were trying not to because we just couldn't help ourselves. We knew it would end badly, but for us attraction wasn't a choice, it was inevitable when we got around each other. Even now, we broke up about 8 months ago and when we do talk to each other we often end up fighting, but even so we always start out flirting heavily and highly attracted to each other because we don't have the option of turning it off even though we know we can't be together.

Attraction is NOT a choice. That ain't bullshit and neither is most of what David teaches to answer your original question.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

The answer is no it's not BS.

People are either attracted or not as soon as you meet them. I know people who would say that they are attracted or not as soon as they see you, but I'd have to say that isn't true. While it is true most men and some women would say yes or no to a person just by looking at them, I've seen plenty of men and women with enough game to change that idea as soon as they meet them. It is true the "window" of attraction is relatively short, but it is during the meeting that the subconscious decision is made.

You can screw it up of course.

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Artax
Devil's Advocate

"You're only as young as the women you feel."
"I am the Master of my unspoken words, and the Slave to those words that should have remained unsaid."