Humans fear the inconvenience of change.

A little twist on words, but it makes a huge difference. If you understand your fears, you are more likely to accept them and overcome them.

Change is something we encounter often, so why aren't we used to it? Why don't we embrace change? Lets use Facebook for an example since almost everyone has it. When Facebook changed their layout and forced users to adopt the new format, FB users were outraged! They created groups opposing the new facebook. The creators of FB received hundreds of thousands of emails begging them to change back to the old layout. Did you feel the same way? (I did, I hung on to the old version as long as I could! Do you feel the same way now? (No, I am comfortable with the new layout and I don't mind anymore). So why all the fuss? FB still has all the same features (some better now). The reason for the outrage is not that facebook changed per se, but rather users had to get used to a new system; it was an inconvenience to learn how to upload your photos again. It was an inconvenience to learn how the new FB Wall displays messages. But now it is better...it separates them by day etc...

Ok so this isn't a post about FB. That was merely an example. What do you fear about pickup? If you are afraid of failing, forget about it...that isn't what you are afraid of. If you are afraid of going to clubs, forget about it....that isn't what you are afraid of. You are in your own bubble right now. It feels safe because you have been in that bubble your whole life and PU wants to change that. And the fact is you aren't afraid of being popular with the ladies and having more friends---are you? NO! You are afraid of the inconveniences that brings. You are afraid that you are going to have to put yourself out there on the line which is something you are not used to. That requires you leaving your house more and not just sitting alone in a coffee shop...the point of PUA is to inconvenience you. You want that change---you desire that change or else you wouldn't be seeking out this information. You aren't afraid of success, you are afraid of the inconveniences it brings. But just like with the FB example, those inconveniences become moot after a while. You accept them and adopt them until it is your new way of life. It will happen, there will be frustration and push-back against change, but that is only because change is pushing you out of your comfort zone and creating a newer, larger comfort zone for you.

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Your psychology resists change because it is trying to ensure the best possible circumstances for your survival. If you have gone years with sitting on a couch and being completely safe, then your subconscious will try to keep you there as much as possible. It's a defense mechanism that we all have. It's statistically true that you have the greatest potential for survival by taking the fewest risks. However, once you have achieved change, then your mentality will note that "taking risks and being social is PART of my survival. Heck, I seem to be doing great with this new lifestyle" and it no longer requires energy or effort. On a profound level, you have become the person internally that you set out to reach.

Everyone has many of this circuits in them that are designed to protect them. We all fear heights because those who didn't splattered at the bottom of a cliff millions of years ago. All men fear approach (at least when perceiving the woman as higher value) because those who didn't were clobbered or chastised millions of years ago. Change is no different. Over the millions of years of our evolution, those who had slightly less capacities for fear of change may have wandered out on their own or stepped out of the social structure and been cast away. And of those, I bet you anything most failed and died, and not stumbled across multiple hot women and impregnated them all.

Unless you have a serious mental disease, you are built perfectly. You are not broken. Every feeling has a purpose. Understand the purpose of each one, and realize those purposes that no longer serve you today.

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On the contrary our survival embraces change. Survival of the fittest...and history has shown that doesn't mean the strongest or the smartest. Many strong and smart species have died off. Fittest = most adaptable to change. If we still lived the way we did back in the 17th century or any other century, we would all be dead right now. Think about it this way...the plague killed millions--they had to adapt so what did they do? They increased hygiene to get rid of bacteria. Washing was cosidered an inconvenience but disease would have killed them all off---they adapted. So while it is in our biological makeup to survive, the ability to adapt is also in our biologocal makeup. This isn't an opinion, it is science and a non-debateable.
I think fear is the wrong word. I don't fear heights and there are many others that don't fear heights. I understand the consequences of heights though. The height itself does not kill you (unless you are somewhere with thin air) so it is irrational to say that you fear heights. If someone was standing safely on a platform at 100ft, there would be no fear after they adapt to the change. They are experiencing the inconveniences of change (being in a new place, not being able to move much, the feeling of your heart pounding and sweating which feels uncomfortable etc...). But once they accept those inconveniences they won't fear being up high. Many people do not fear things that they should. Why do camera men scuba dive with sharks in open water? Why do people wrestle alligators? Those aren't safe but for some, they don't fear it because the have adapted to those surroundings and accepted them into their lives.

People DO get over phobias and fears, even if it is something that could bring death (like standing too close to the edge of a cliff). But yet people do it! They accept those inconveniences and adapt the the situation, they no longer fear it. Just like people who say they fear death...you don't fear death, you fear the inconveniences it brings. Like not being with your family and friends etc...[/quote]

We're going to have to agree to disagree. You are talking about societal adaptation, where I am talking about personal change, two very different things. Of course when something happens which moves someone or many people to a situation of discomfort (plague), then they will do what it takes to reach a more comfortable situation. Right... Species adapt is science. This doesn't equate to 'humans don't resist change' unfortunately.

Your theory about only fearing the consequences, to me this is just semantics. You can call it whatever you want, but even if you are in a harness and look over the edge of a 50 story building, there is still going to be a discharge to the sympathetic nervous system, stimulating a 'fight-or-flight' response in you. Obviously you are going to implore much greater caution if you are not wearing a harness, but that is your conscious going to work, not your subconscious. Again, the examples you gave have a lot less to do with fear (the feeling you get in your stomach and heart rate), and a lot more to do with comfort. You are going to be a lot more comfortable swimming with sharks when wearing chain mail, and not surrounded by chum.

People who are in a position where survival chances are low will look for change (adaptation as you put it). But people who are in a position of comfort where they are safe, even if it is having a lonely existence sitting on the couch all day not socializing, will not seek change subconsciously. Any conscious change that is attempted will be resisted. You are right about a lot of things, however I disagree with your use of converting facts about one thing to prove a separate, more complex thing.

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For some, heights don't stimulate that response. And if you look over the edge of a 50 story building in a harness enough, it will no longer trigger the fight-or-flight response in you. You will have adapted to the situation. You can say you feared the height, but in reality you didn't like your pulse racing, the sweat, and the feeling like you just got punched in the stomach. But most people who fear "heights" won't got up high places and try and become accustomed to them? Why is that, because they fear the inconvenience that brings to them...they don't want to feel their pulse racing or feel like they just got punched in the stomach. Of course people would like to overcome their fears (which is a change), but the reason they don't do it because it is an inconvenience for them to change.

If you say agree to disagree that is fine. But I think you are writing it off as semantics when there is really a justifiable difference.