Google "parts therapy" it changed the lives of almoast everyone I have taught it too. It will help you understand and clear up all of the emotions you are experiencing.
"A client experiencing an internal conflict is an excellent candidate, as might be evidenced by one who says, “A part of me wants to get rid of this weight while another part wants to keep on eating!” The personality part desiring to reduce is in conflict with another part wanting to overeat. This might be the result of one or more of several common causes: overwork, unresolved personal or family problems, past programming, unresolved past experience, secondary gain (such as protection from opposite sex), authority imprint, self-punishment, etc. Sometimes parts therapy is indicated after using ideomotor responses to questions to the subconscious about the cause(s) of a problem, especially if the responses indicate a “yes” for self-punishment, secondary gain and/or internal conflict."
- Chris
