I hope that it is okay that i post me question here as I am really seeking advice from men :

I need some advice from the view of a man:
just imagine: you (31years) have rashly broken up with your girlfriend (32 years) after a relationship of 4 years. Relationship was nice (also the sex) and somehow you think that you have this girl for sure because she is really loving you. Reason for breaking up is another woman, you are not already in love with her but already had sex with her and adventure is luring…
You are deciding for breaking up with your longtime girlfriend because you have cheated on her and you are honest and adventure is luring… But however, you are not sure at all if you have made the right decision for the long time (and you have always problems with deciding). You really would like to have your longtime girlfriend as a platonic friend now, because she is still important for you.
Would you rather come back to your longtime girlfriend if she is still in your life (and behaves flirty and sexy and warmheartend) or if she has withdrawn from your life? What would you make doubting about your first decision of breaking-up with her stronger?

Have many tanks for every answer!. Men are behaving different than women and I am very grateful for every view of a man!!!

I personally go by this belief:
If a person is happy in his/her relationship, he/she doesn't even think about cheating on the partner. Why would you right, you're already in a happy relationship? Getting back at your decision that you've broken up with the long-term partner, isn't really a good choice. I've tried myself, and I regret it. Your ex is an ex for a reason. Feelings will f*ck you up, but you gotta be stronger than that. It's difficult, but possible.

However though if you strongly believe, that the ex-partner can make you happy in the long-term, then go for it.

Wallie

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The Learning Journal:
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Sounds like he got bored, or the other girl was hot and he had an opportunity.

If he gets bored with her or breaks up with her you may very well be his next stop. Guys fill in the blanks with re-runs sometimes. It's up to you whether you want to even entertain that if it happens.

I don't know there's much you could do to make him doubt his decision - at least not right now - particularly since he broke up with you and seems like he may be happy with the other girl right now.

For starters you need to make sure cheating is the real reason he broke up or if it is just a convenient scapegoat, because we all do that, both men and women, i got a friend who cheated on his girlfriend several times and he admitted it all because he wanted to break up with her, women also try to find a way to lay off someone nicely(we all know they do) so you should not be surprised if this is so. Second thing is that you will not accomplish much by trying to win him back, even if you pretend you are moving on it will just not work, he can smell foul play, we all can. If a man came here asking for advice on how to win back his girlfriend(and most of them do which you can see if you lurk a little) majority of the guys here will just tell him to move on, and that is exactly what you should do, i know it is not easy, and it will hurt but it is for the best in a long run. Just don't dwell on the past, if you two are "meant to be"(which i must say i don't rely believe in) then it will happen anyway but not as long as you dwell on the past. And also, it is not that i am implying anything but some guys are afraid of closeness, my friend is like that, every time a girl gets near him he ejects, some other guy may accept it outwardly but inwardly he may still be afraid to commit, and if that is a true reason he broke up with you then trying to rekindle a relationship "by force" will only drive him further away.

Thank you very much for your answers!!!

She is really asking pick up artist about this?
Ok well did he say the sex with you was so great?and if everything else was so greate then why is he straying?ooh I see he is a man and he can do anything about it he has to do it?come on sis pls do no contact and let the brother be .he didn't get bored something is wrong and you know it .and if you really believe all you offered was the best then it's his los !on the realistic view you are here asking us this because u know something is wrong .but just do no contact for 30 days so that you can get to think about what you did wrong .I don't believe the new woman has anything better to offer any ways .if he left you for her then it was his choice be strong you now have the chance to get to know some one else too.